


Saudade

by bryar6



Category: Tales of Arcadia (Cartoons), Trollhunters - Daniel Kraus & Guillermo del Toro
Genre: Angst, Dancing, Description of Injuries, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kissing, Mental Illness, Mild Blood and Gore, Pining, Post-Canon, Post-Wizards, Scars, Soft and Fluffy, Spoilers for Wizards, Swearing, The Chaos Family, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Whump, jlaire, plot picking up after the end of Wizards, relationships, songfic??, various mythical creatures, wings!Zoe, zouxie
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-26
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 73,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26647771
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bryar6/pseuds/bryar6
Summary: Adventures, heartache, adjustments, exploration, discoveries, realizations, family, and so, so much more.A continuation fic of the events following Wizards sticking to prior events in canon, mainly focusing on Douxie, Archie, Nari, and Zoe with a few more sporadic installments with the Arcadia gang. Lots of introspection/mental analysis for the characters and addressing what they went through in the course of their lives thus far, and what comes of their futures. Heavy on the Zouxie and family dynamics.
Relationships: Archie & Hisirdoux "Douxie" Casperan, Archie & Nari (Tales of Arcadia), Barbara Lake & Jim Lake Jr., Hisirdoux "Douxie" Casperan & Zoe, Hisirdoux "Douxie" Casperan/Zoe, Jim Lake Jr. & Walter Strickler | Stricklander, Jim Lake Jr./Claire Nuñez
Comments: 194
Kudos: 85





	1. In the End

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Douxie is extremely tired(who isn't?) but decides he can't leave just yet and crashes at Zoe's house first. Some Hurt/Comfort and soft Zouxie and a bit about what Douxie is still mentally going through and probably will be for a while.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some description of injuries and scars, mental health stuff comes up.

“Well, look on the bright side. Things could have been much worse.”

“Thanks for the positivity, Arch. Just what I need.” Hisirdoux Casperan, successor to Merlin, groans and puts his head in his hands. _Successor to Merlin,_ he thinks with a slight shudder. The tears threaten to come again in floods, like the canals in the spring. The canals, the never-quiet streets, his beautiful bookstore and the cafe and the bistro and his band and his school and all his mortal friends new and old. _By the gods, I can’t believe I’m leaving this place. I called it home for so long…_

Everything is still a bit of a mess. Sure, the biggest issues are gone, namely the Arcane Order lost somewhere to his strange time contraption, and soon to be back on his tail. But physically, mentally, and emotionally, Douxie has never felt like more of a wreck. He feels like rubbish. 

Dawn is breaking over Arcadia in beautiful golden hues and a warm wind buffets the flying ship. The light feels like the wonderful heavenly warmth he’d felt when that door had opened and the two master wizards had left. He smiles lightly, hand twitching, instinctively moving to that signature rock gesture. He’d picked that one up decades ago and just loved it too much to let go. 

“Where are we going?” Nari’s voice echoes against the clouds.

Douxie snaps back into the present, blinking himself alert. “Oh. Sorry. Well, I just…” He looks around, realizing that his body felt more frail than ever and that he is absolutely starving. He imagines that Arch could say the same, but Douxie has no idea what Nari’s needs are. “I know we just said bye to everyone, but the Order is somewhere that isn’t here right now, and I thought maybe…”

He gazes out at the miles and miles of land emerging in the morning light. _Now that is a sight I would never get tired of._

“Spit it out. Cat got your tongue?” Archie laughs, and then coughs. “I’m turning into my father,” he mutters, tail flicking.

“We’re headed to Zoe’s. I need to rest and recover for a few hours and I think we’ll be safe to lie low for a short while. The others are safe and headed home themselves.” Douxie nods, as if reassuring himself over the hasty plan. He’s never had the best or the most secure plans but these things are on his shoulders now. Archie hops from the ship’s rail and curls around Douxie’s legs. 

“We’re with you,” his familiar reassures. The shapeshifter’s green eyes beam. 

“I know.” It’s so quiet Douxie isn’t sure he said it at all. 

The ship skims silently over the trees and across the rubble-filled town. Douxie remembers when the first noticeable destruction arrived here. There was broken construction scaffolding in the alleys, crushed cars, reports of excessive numbers of racoons around the town. At first, even Douxie, in all his years thought nothing of it. Sure, there was the odd creature or two he and Arch chased down from time to time, but he never found true evidence of anything else. 

He had known the trolls were here- how he found them, a story for another day -but for a few hundred years they’d done no harm to the human world. Sure, Bular and Gunmar were always a threat but they were one that was managed by the Trollhunter. And so he’d spent years moving about the country, often finding himself back in Arcadia no matter what he did. 

_There’s certainly something special about this place,_ Douxie thinks with amusement. 

Douxie glides above the town center and slows the ship above some apartment buildings before dropping carefully onto the roof. The ship makes a little more of a thud than he is expecting, but it is no matter. Arcadia is deaf to these things by now. Archie lifts Nari and places her down beside the ship. Douxie returns the ship to it’s enchanted bottle and gestures wordlessly for the two to follow him. 

Douxie struggles to remember Zoe’s phone number, but realizes it doesn’t matter; his cell is crushed and probably well past dead by now. For all he knows, it’s not even in this era. He curses lightly under his breath as he knocks on the door, preparing for an earful.

A muffled voice from behind the door comes, saying something he can’t make out. Douxie meets Archie’s eyes with a slight grimace. They both recall quite well that Zoe isn’t a morning person. 

The door creaks open and a tired, messy-haired Zoe glares at the trio. 

“What’s your problem?” she mumbles, rubbing her eyes again. She pauses, and looks again. “Hold on, wait, it’s you guys? What’re you doing here?” Zoe whispers loudly and grabs Douxie’s arm and drags them inside the apartment. She fumbles for a pair of glasses on the counter and rubs the lens harshly with her shirt before shoving them onto her face. 

“Zo, I need a place to crash for the night- the day -just for a bit, and then I’ll be out of your hair. Can’t stay long, anyways.” He grabs her hand as she’s about to walk off. She whirls around on him, face softening as she sees his sad shape. “Please.” 

“Fine. Let me get you something to eat, go sit down.” 

Douxie’s shoulders slump with relief. “Oh, thank you Zoe, I really, really appreciate this-”

“Ah! Don’t mention it.” She waves a finger at him and he rolls his eyes. _Ever humble, that one._

Douxie throws himself down on one of the couches, wincing as all the bruises flare on his body. This was certainly a special kind of pain he hadn’t felt before. He hears Zoe on the phone in the kitchen. 

“Yeah, I just need today off. Something came up and I won’t be able to come in.” She swats at Archie, who is opening up cupboards. “Stop it! Uh, no, not you, my cat, sorry. I know it’s late notice, I’m sorry. What? No, no, it’s a uh, it’s a family thing. Yeah. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. Uh huh. Bye.”

Douxie smiles. “You didn’t have to do that. I’m nine hundred and nineteen, I can take care of myself.”

“Yeah, well,” Zoe mutters. “You also look like shit. And besides, if the Order shows up, you’re in no condition to fight.”

“Oh, real vote of confidence there.” Douxie kicks his shoes off and nudges them to the end of the couch. Zoe hands him a sleeve of saltines and some water that he downs quickly. He’s far thirstier than he could have imagined. Something about having died, he supposes.

Zoe brings him a pitcher that incidentally looks like it’s from the bistro and sets it beside his cup. 

“Stay here,” she says, with a sternness that Douxie doesn’t dare disobey. 

She returns shortly after with a blanket, washcloths, and hydrogen peroxide. _Nasty stuff,_ Douxie recalls, thinking of a night that Archie had to pour it over his leg after a run-in with some goblins. “Can’t we just use magic? Hurts a lot less than the old-fashioned way.”

“For one, I’m exhausted too. Your friends kept me busy repairing HexTech overnight. Two, you already know I’m not that good at it. Electronics and wires aren’t flesh and bones. I’ve been learning a bit about medical care anyways, you’re always getting your ass in trouble so I thought I might. Sit up.”

Douxie shifts himself up and gasps with the pain. The adrenaline has worn off and he feels each twinge of pain and ache. Zoe’s brow furrows. 

“What, jump off a building this time or something?” Zoe asks with a bite of sarcasm. Archie chuckles to himself from the kitchen, where he seems to be instructing Nari on how to open a can of tuna. 

“Or something,” he mumbles, clenching his jaw. He slips his well-loved sweatshirt from his shoulders, noting it’s tears and holes. Based on that alone, he almost doesn’t want to see the condition of his body. 

Zoe lifts the washcloth and scrunches her nose on inspecting his arms. “C’mon. Bathroom. We’re not getting blood on my couch.” Douxie groans. 

“I can’t get up. Don’t make me go through the pain,” he pleads, dramatically tossing an arm over his forehead. 

“I have no sympathy, I’m sure you did most of this to yourself.” But Zoe still slides a shoulder under his and helps him hobble down the little hallway. She perches him on the counter and helps him struggle out of his shirt. Even that is nearly ruined, he notes. 

“My gods, Hisirdoux, what _did_ you do to yourself?” Zoe stares incredulously. True concern fills her eyes. 

Douxie grumbles and turns to look in the mirror. “Oh, it’s not that…bad…” His jaw quivers slightly. 

“Really? In all my nine hundred and twenty three years I’ve never seen you- or, hell -anyone for that matter, look worse.” 

Douxie’s back is a mess of bruises, scrapes, blood and scars. He really does look like he’s been through a war and fallen from hundreds of feet in the air. His skin is colored like some of the prettier twilight skies he’s seen before and fresh scars crisscross over old, pale ones. A large gash runs from his shoulder to his hip, scabbed over. 

“Ah. Well. No wonder it hurts so much.” He moves to touch the gash but Zoe pushes his hand away. 

Zoe shakes her head and wets the washcloth, slowly and gently wiping grime and dirt aside and daubing off blood. She makes a poultice of herbs and applies it carefully. The potent aroma of plants fills the tiny bathroom. Douxie closes his eyes against the fresh stings. 

“Douxie, are you okay?” Zoe has paused, hand still lingering on his back. He meets her eyes hesitantly. 

“I- Not really. I’ll tell you about it later, okay?” One of her hands curls around his. He squeezes hers back. 

“Okay.”

Nine hundred plus years will teach you a lot about life, Douxie thinks, but there are still some things that only silence can say. 

*******************

Douxie slowly eases himself off the countertop and turns to face the mirror. Zoe’s done a good job patching him up. His back is covered in gauze and bandages, the result of multiple wounds coming open from being cleaned thoroughly. All that’s really left are a few burns on his chest. He gingerly rubs a cream across them. 

“All these scars will make for quite the story one day, huh?” Zoe sets down a new shirt and an oversized sweatshirt beside him, inspecting her work before setting to putting her contacts in. Douxie thanks his lucky stars that he’s always had good eyesight. “You’ll be fine in a few weeks.” 

“Yeah. Thank you, Zo, I really mean it,” he says. A painful ache in his chest wants to hug her, but he stops himself. 

“It’s no problem. I need to run and grab some things from the store, just watch Archie and that girl, will you? He’s trying to teach her how to cook because apparently his lack of a thumb complicates things and I don’t want them burning this place down.” Zoe sighs and then smiles, the first real smile he’s seen on her face in a long time. 

“I’ll try.” Douxie turns to wrestle the shirt over his head and by the time he turns again, Zoe is gone. “What would I do without her,” he muses. That pain in his chest that isn’t a wound twinges again, thinking of leaving this place, and leaving it without her, nonetheless. 

But he recalls Merlin’s last request and understands what has to be done. 

**********************

Zoe returns with arms full of groceries, a much needed restock. Archie and Nari lay curled in a patch of sunlight on one of the apartment’s great dorm windows and Douxie lounges on the couch, flipping through TV stations. At hearing the door open, Douxie’s head whips around and his hand goes to the gauntlet on his forearm. 

“Easy there, it’s just me,” Zoe laughs. She yelps as a can of beans drops from the counter where she'd just placed it, but Douxie throws a hand out and catches it with a minor telekinesis spell. Even that little effort makes his body ache. Zoe lifts it from the air and shelves it.

“I know, I’m just. Being cautious.” He tenses momentarily and then lets go, trying to calm his nerves. “It’s been a crazy last couple weeks.”

“Tell me about it. The record store was dead and HexTech was so overrun that most of us were working overtime. At one point I just closed the store to be at HexTech. That Krel kid kept asking for us to fix this weird head thing and even I couldn’t magic it better.” 

He laughs lightly. “Not that type of crazy. More like the once in centuries kind of crazy.”

She stuffs the grocery bags into another bag, a strange human quirk that Douxie was rather fond of. The funny things he had watched develop over the years would never cease to amuse him. “So like the Black Death, or the Great War? Or are we talking more like the moon-landing?”

“Oh, ha ha.” Douxie hobbles towards the kitchen, determined to repay her help somehow. “Time travel.” 

“Come again?” Her knife misses the carrot and instead slips to the cutting board, nicking her finger. “Ow.”

Douxie knows that healing magic isn’t his strong suit, and that it’s never any good on himself besides slightly faster healing, but he still gingerly takes her hand and flips it so he can see the cut. 

“Stop it, you’re just making yourself more tired.” She tries to yank her hand back, but Douxie holds it quick.

“It’s fine, it’s fine. Let me,” he insists. She gives in, and he lifts her finger to his lips. He says something under his breath and kisses it quickly. Shock flashes in her eyes and Douxie’s grin is impossibly wide. “You absolute show off.” 

“Perhaps I am. Better?” He returns to the soup pot on the stove, adding spices to the broth. 

She lifts the finger and not even a scar lingers. “It is. Who taught you that?” 

He shrugs. “Magic comes easier to me now, in many forms. The amount of magical exertion I’ve caused my body in the past days would have killed me even just a month ago. I don’t really know what changed.” 

But he does. He knows exactly what has made things so different. He lost so much in the course of a mere day. People and a home he’ll never get back. And it hits him again, like the uncontrollable early locomotives that were built for speed and not safety, the very ones he hitched rides on years and years ago. A painful reminder of his innocent and blissful times when all he knew was getting by each day and waiting for Merlin. All those years he would never get back, and all these future centuries without Merlin ever again. And he slumps into the counter, pressing his head into his arms, and cries. 

“Whoa, Doux, hey, hey it’s alright. C’mere.” Zoe carefully takes him and moves them away from the stove. “Archie, watch the pot, will you?”

“I can’t do this, Zoe. I don’t know what he was thinking, leaving me in charge of the fate of the world? How am I supposed to do this? I’m not- I can’t-” His shoulders tremble in sobs, feeling everything all at once. The death of the only person he ever saw as a father, his mentor. Everything was ripped away from him and it wasn’t fair. None of it was fair. 

“I think you need to rest. Let’s go lay you down, alright?” Zoe leads him back to the couch, careful not to touch any of the many wounds across his arms and back. Douxie can’t stop the tears from flooding his face and soaking his chin. He sees it all again, watching that resurrected Arthur shoving Merlin through the glass. That feeling of helplessness trapped beneath Jim’s troll form. And that surge of impossibly powerful magic flowing through his veins. He shudders. 

He couldn’t save Merlin. He’d failed to. And he’d lost not just him, but Morgana and Arthur, everyone and anyone who knew of his humble beginnings. And what if he failed to keep Nari from the rest of the Order? There was so much, and it was all his responsibility. All him and Archie. He couldn't do this. 

“Please talk to me, Douxie, you know I’ll listen,” Zoe says, her voice cracking. 

“Merlin. Merlin died and I couldn’t save him, and he left all this work and responsibility to me and sure, I know I’m powerful and all, but what if I’m just not capable? I don’t know if I can do this on my own.” Douxie breaks down again, grabbing the blanket and curling into himself. He feels so cold. Zoe slides onto the couch next to him. 

“Well, we won’t worry about that right now. Let’s just focus on right here, okay? I’m sure some great and amazing things happened, and that you did and will keep doing your best. And that’s all we need right now. You’re enough.” Zoe holds her hand out to him, and when Douxie doesn’t take it, she twines her fingers in his. “I’m here. I’m listening. It’s going to be alright.”

He chokes back more tears and rests his head on her shoulder. “Yeah. Yeah.” She wraps her arms around him and he slowly calms, tears drying on his face. 

“You’ll be okay. I’m right here with you.” Zoe gently runs her fingers through his hair. A familiar purr against Douxie’s leg soothes him a little more. 

“We will get through this together. It’s okay to grieve,” Archie says, curling himself over his wizard’s lap. 

Breathing slowly comes easier to him again. He takes a few small gasps of air, feeling his racing heart slow. And the exhaustion sets in, and before he can even thank Zoe or Archie, he’s sound asleep.


	2. Forever Young

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe's known Douxie for what seems like ever, and some things just never change, while others, well, over centuries new developments are bound to happen. She recalls some more about their lives and also learns a little about the recent developments. And (not really) comes to terms with Douxie's departure. 
> 
> \---
> 
> Also not me headcanoning that most near-immortal humans often face mental health issues because honestly imagine living through so much craziness.

The problem with wizards, Zoe thinks to herself, is that they just live so unreasonably long. In a short eighty or so years, she’ll have lived a thousand years on this planet and only look some days older. The human mind isn’t meant to withstand the torment of a thousand years of life. It’s not easy, and it’s not at all something woven into evolution. Wizards are the exception. Living out human lives again and again. At least the trolls live slowly, with mildly uneventful lives. But Zoe knows too much about life and love and pain to ever feel at peace again, she thinks. 

Douxie has developed, understandably, a handful of mental illnesses over the years. Zoe is fully aware of this because she’s the one who encouraged him to go in the first place. Hell, she’s a firm believer that anyone can benefit from therapy. She’s made her own life worlds better by going routinely herself. But Douxie’s outburst in the morning reminded her painfully of times years earlier, before he sought help. 

“Hey, KitKat?” Zoe says softly, doing her best not to disturb Douxie. 

“Didn't I tell you never to call me that?” Grumbling, Archie blinks himself awake. 

“Yes. But I need to know if he’s been taking his meds. Something’s not right.” 

Oh, she remembers the struggles at first. Routinely forgetting to take medication and denying they were doing anything, to intentionally skipping, where he would lash out at everything and anything in an attempt to isolate himself. It got to the point where she blessed modern technology for the ability to FaceTime him from the comfort of her bed in the mornings she couldn’t get up and go to his door. Eventually, he got into the habit, and he was more or less good old Doux again. 

Merlin had unknowingly made things much worse on the apprentice, crippling his self-esteem and giving him anxiety and a whole host of emotional issues. And of course, Douxie had lived in the streets for a decent portion of his childhood and had food insecurity and serious trust issues, both of which were completely understandable. Zoe hates to think of this wonderful wizard once a child begging for anything in the ditches of Camelot. _A twisted, twisted world._

“Well, in short, no. But he’s been in the 12th century for the past two weeks. Zoloft isn’t exactly something you find at the alchemists shop.” Archibald casts a worried look at his familiar. “And I know he’s supposed to be on an anxiety medication too, and something else…Not to mention he hasn’t attended therapy in over a month.” 

“Good gods. No wonder. Please do me a favor and run to your apartment and grab what you can. We really need to get him back on track.” Zoe looks up to the ceiling, trying to breathe deeply and fully again. Her own anxiety stemmed from an assortment of unfounded fears about life, and again she thanked modern medicine for being able to keep her sane. 

And what with the state of the world? It was more necessary than ever. Sure, Arcadia lived life dangerously on the brink of disaster at any given moment, but outside their town the nation was at war with itself, places north were burning near constantly while hurricanes battered the Atlantic coast. And she couldn’t even get started on worldwide issues. It was enough to drive her to her wits end sometimes. 

“Of course,” Archie nodded, making his way to an opened window and taking flight. Why the two hadn’t thought of it at all was a mystery to her, but she supposed when you’re caught up trying to fix time and history it’s a different matter. They seriously needed to tell her what actually went down. 

Zoe realizes, with a high degree of discomfort, that her arm is paralyzed beneath Douxie and her limbs are slowly going to sleep. She hates to disturb him but she’s starving and needs to move. With painstaking slowness, she drags herself out from under his, resting his head down on a pillow. He almost looks relaxed. She hopes he is. For good measure, she places the lightest of kisses on his forehead. Zoe swears the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile. 

And that’s another thing about Hisirdoux. He’s a bit of a flirt. With anyone. Which makes it impossible to tell if he’s actually interested or just being himself. If there was ever a true slow-burn romance, it would be Zoe and Douxie’s. She had despised him at first, on meeting him(a whole story in itself), she got the impression he was a sorcerer's pet. Always trying to placate his master, always underfoot, and always seeking validation. But these weren’t what had set her off; it was his annoying habit of playing that damn lute all the time. 

And of course, the guitar is now probably one of her favorite instruments to listen to. She doesn’t hear any song with guitar and not think of him. Acoustic, bass, electric, it didn’t matter. He loved strings all the same. Zoe had become terribly fond of them. And all the sudden she can’t take the silence in the apartment anymore. 

Hesitating a little, she pulls out her phone and connects it to a speaker. Douxie looks dead asleep. She sets a playlist of 70s music and makes herself a bowl of soup. None of it distracts from the undeniably cute boy sleeping on her couch. Not that he hadn’t done this before, but she’s quite conscious of how much she wants to wake him up and demand he tells her if he feels anything or not. 

But part of being a wizard or a witch meant forsaking non-platonic relationships with others. Their lives were too full of risks and hazards to ever be in a secure relationship. She thinks it’s all a bit ridiculous, especially if those in question are both living out their near-immortal lives. However, the biggest issue is that magic is emotion. And love was one of the stronger emotions out there that could be channeled through magic. There were a number of tragic stories about wizard lovers and their magic ending up harming, or worse, the other. Not that many of them were true, but still. It creates a very painful ache to think about just how much history had warped into the worse when related to the world of magic. 

And what was all the nonsense about leaving after a day? He’d just returned, hadn’t he? He was constantly getting himself into trouble and she could just guess at what things he did when she wasn’t around to stop him. Not that she didn’t trust Douxie. It was just that they were both a little reckless, a little headstrong, and they’d watched each other’s backs for centuries. Literally now, too, she acknowledges with slight amusement. But it fades fast, remembering his grimace and pain as she worked on all his wounds. 

And there had been so many of them. Sure, she had a couple scars herself, but none the likes of which marred the wizard’s back like the haphazard streets of Boston. She glances over to him again, wanting to say a million things. She knows she shouldn’t say these things because she can only guess it’ll mean hurt for them both. 

Humming along to some Bob Dylan under her breath, she sets a kettle on the stove. Douxie and Archie loved their tea and she’s sure a little Earl Grey would settle their nerves a bit. Well, if Douxie plans on waking up in the next few hours. They’d arrived early, at sunrise, and it was just a bit after noon now. Zoe was beginning to get a little bored and a little pent-up feeling. She’d bother Nari, but the little forest goddess was also asleep, or maybe just photosynthesizing? Zoe wishes she could nap properly, but it’s never been in her skill set. 

She sings quietly instead. “May you grow up to be righteous, may you grow up to be true, may you always know the truth, and see the lights surrounding you.” Zoe’s always been a little fond of Bob Dylan, whether it was the guitar or just the way the music felt like warm summer nights and traveling, she couldn’t say. “May you always be courageous, stand upright and be strong…”

“May you stay forever young,” comes a soft voice. “Forever young, forever young.”

His voice isn’t quite matching the notes, but Zoe smiles and joins him. 

“May you stay forever young,” they sing softly. The sunlight streams into the little apartment in golden streams of light. It’s simply beautiful. 

“Bit of an ironic one, don’t you think?” Douxie’s voice cracks and he coughs, sitting up. 

“Suppose it is, considering us. I still like it though.” She removes the kettle and pours a couple cups of hot tea, adding a small bit of sugar and a tea bag. The way he’d prepared it for hundreds of years. “Here you are.”

“Thank you, m’lady,” Douxie says, carefully stirring. Zoe turns to hide a blush. 

Archie lands on the windowsill, a bag of clicking plastic bottles in his jaw. “Thiff if for you,” the familiar says through a mouthful of plastic bag. Douxie eyes it with slight annoyance. 

“Oh, fuzzbuckets. Is that what I think it is?” He looks up and frowns at Zoe. “Look, I’ve been just fine-”

“I’m not having any of that today. Just take your meds. I promise it’ll help.” Zoe grabs him a glass of water and hands it over. Begrudgingly, he takes it and opens the bottles, inspecting the labels closely. Without further protest, he takes the pills and sets the glass down. 

“Happy now?” He says, looking away. His gaze lands on Nari. Zoe can tell he’s thinking about something. Fear and apprehension flicker in his eyes for a moment. He throws his eyes back to Zoe and Archie. “We’ll have to leave soon.”

“Not until tonight. You still need to rest and you’ll be safe enough here,” Archie argues, hopping up onto Douxie’s lap. 

“He’s right, you know. Drink your tea.” Zoe cleans up a little, trying to find something to keep her busy enough. “So you never told me about everything that happened, time travel and all?”

“Oh, right. Well, I suppose it was eventful enough, eh Arch?”

“I hope you realize that this was nine hundred years ago for me, not just a couple days ago like it was for you.” Archie licks a paw and drags it over his ears. He circles and lays down on the wizard's lap. 

“Well, I guess I can start from the top…” 

***********************

“And then I fell out of the Order’s tower and hit the ground while unconscious, or so I'm told. I uh, well, I actually died,” Douxie says, scratching the back of his head.

“And Bular hugged the Trollhunter. Like hell,” she laughs.

“No, I’m being serious. I did die. I was in Merlin’s study and he and Morgana were there, and they opened this door and went into the light. Merlin said ‘Well I’d tell you to come along, but you’ve never really listened to anyone before, so why start now?’ And the door closed in front me and I woke up on the ground next to everyone. And everything hurt.” Douxie is abnormally serious. 

“It’s true. He had no pulse for a solid thirty seconds,” Archie comments. Zoe’s jaw drops.

“You’re telling me you _died_ and no one told me? You could have, I don’t know, texted me before you showed up and said ‘Oh hey, I need to stop by because I died and CAME BACK TO LIFE and need a nap’ but nooooo.” Zoe shakes her head. “I can’t believe it, not telling me you died.”

“Zo, I don’t even know where my phone _is_ let alone had the energy to do anything more than just show up. Take it easy on a poor bloke.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re something else, Hisirdoux.” He smiles. 

“You think so, hmm?” Douxie’s eyes twinkle and she scoffs and swats at him playfully. 

“Stop fishing for compliments. You already know what I think of you.” 

“No, I don’t think I do,” he replies. His grin couldn’t get any wider. 

“You humans have some nerve doing this in front of my anchovies,” Archie growls lightly. 

Douxie rolls his eyes. “Oh cut it out, Arch.” Both wizard and witch blush and look away now. 

Zoe’s heart beats a little too fast in her chest. She knows she can’t have these feelings. She really shouldn’t. But there’s nothing she can do to negate them, especially not when Douxie acts like this all the time. 

“Let’s take a walk,” Zoe suggests, extending a hand to Douxie. “Sitting for too long will make you stiff. Besides, it’s nice out.”

“As you wish,” Douxie responds, taking her hand and standing. “Nari, are you doing alright?”

“What? Me?” The small goddess lifts her head and blinks wearily. 

“Yeah. You’ll be fine here?”

“Of course. I am just enjoying the warmth.” Her voice sounds so strangely melodic, Zoe notes. 

“Alrighty then. Arch, you keep an eye on things while we’re gone.” Douxie follows Zoe out of the apartment and down to the street. “So where are we headed?” 

“I don’t really know, I just couldn’t stay holed up in there all day, is all.” She notices his slight limp and slows her pace. “If you need to go back, just let me know.”

“S’alright. If I’m to be travelling soon I’ll need to get my feet back under as soon as possible, anyways.” Douxie looks away, a sad look crossing his face.

“So you really are leaving, huh?” Zoe bumps him gently with her shoulder to prompt him from his silence. 

“We have to. There’s nowhere I can stay that will keep Nari safe, not for long, and not without endangering someone else. As it is, I already feel bad housing her in your apartment. It's an unnecessary risk.” He sighs, dropping his arms. “I’m sorry, Zo. I really am.”

“What are you even sorry about? Sure, crashing at my place was a little unexpected, but nothing I can’t handle.” She looks down and starts kicking a rock up the sidewalk every few steps. “But don’t you dare expect me to run the bookstore in your stead, I’m already working two jobs.”

“No, no, I would never. I guess I’m just sorry about all this. You know, leaving all the sudden. It’ll probably be a long time before I can come back for good. If ever. Merlin spent a very long time being chased for housing Nari, and before that, because he was in possession of the seals.” He trips a bit on the uneven cement and grimaces. They take an alleyway off the street and behind the building, heading into the hillside and the forest. Zoe’s always found a bit of solace here. It reminded her of her own childhood.

“What, going to miss me or something?” Zoe teases. Douxie meets her eyes with pain and she immediately feels guilty.

“Yeah. I really will.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. That probably came off so rude-”

“It’s okay, Zoe.” Douxie takes her hand and squeezes once. “I know.” 

They walk in silence for a while, their feet on the dirt their only sound and the birds talking in the trees and the wind rustling the leaves the only indicator that the world is still going on around them. A few far off car-horns and the sound of a plane far ahead are all that keeps Zoe from forgetting they’re still very much in the modern world. She doesn’t know what to say. There’s probably hundreds of things she wants to tell him, to talk about, but it doesn’t seem right to bring any of it up. He’s still grieving, both the loss of his mentor and his soon loss of what he came to call his home for the past centuries. She wants to tell him in all honesty that he will be okay, and that she’s right there beside him, doing everything she can to help. But Douxie needs more than just that reassurance. He needs the company and real comfort, things she guesses she won’t be able to provide very well once he’s gone. 

They’ve reached the top of the hill, a little outlook over the town. It’s not much to see; nothing new that is. The sky is a hazy afternoon blue and the town looks almost sleepy, stretching out before them. Douxie takes a seat on the nearby bench and Zoe joins him, tucking herself right up against his arm. He rests his cheek against the top of her head and sighs. Zoe feels so small next to him. He’s this grand, all-powerful wizard now, capable of things beyond her wildest dreams, and here he is, arm around a tiny hedgewitch with abilities that pale in comparison. It almost makes her afraid that once he’s gone, he won’t feel the need to come back. That maybe he’ll find better people elsewhere and not need her anymore. She does her best to quell this fear. 

“Zoe, I-” Douxie struggles with his words for a moment. “I really just want you to know that I am sorry. And that I promise I’ll come back, I really do mean that. Arcadia’s been my home for so long and everyone I know is all here. I’ll have to get a degree at some point, and maybe by then I’ll have something figured out. I guess that’s...most of what I think I need to say.”

It’s like he’s read her mind. Zoe closes her eyes, tension dissipating. “That’s good to know, yeah. I appreciate the reassurance. It’s going to be quiet without someone around here causing trouble.”

He chuckles lightly. “Perhaps. You know, Steve was thinking about reforming the Knights of the Round Table. Who knows? Maybe he’s onto something. Oh, and Claire is becoming quite adept at shadow magic. You could probably teach her a thing or two. As for the rest, I don’t really know enough. But you should get to know them. They’ll keep you company.”

Zoe nods. But she doesn’t really want to get to know them. She wants to go monster hunting on weekend nights with Douxie, she wants to get burgers with him and laugh about all the adventures they’ve had, she wants to sit in her living room at night sharing drinks and rant about customers until the sun comes up, she wants to go to the ocean with him, she wants to see the Redwoods and the national parks, she wants to explore and go places and not feel so tied down. And she thinks she’ll just feel a bit lost without him around. 

“Why can’t I come with you?” she offers, already knowing he’ll refuse. 

“It’s not safe. I can’t be risking your life, too. I’m sorry.”

She understands. 

“I promise that one day, when things are safe again, I’ll come back for you and I’ll take you all over the world. You, me, Arch, and anywhere you want to go, just say it. I mean that. Mark my words, love, because you deserve that at the very least for putting up with my ungrateful arse for so many years.” Douxie’s voice has returned to some of it’s more normal cheer, energy restored. 

“Oh, you can bet I’ll be taking you up on that one. Be prepared to spend years being badgered by me until you go through with it,” she laughs, sticking her tongue out at him. 

“Oh! I told you about my staff, right?” Douxie sits up suddenly, holding his arm out and procuring the long staff. 

“Yes, yes you did.” Zoe tries her best to look unamused but Douxie’s excitement rubs off on her some.

“And the guitar part?”

“The what now?”

“You heard me. Here, watch,” he says, and spins the staff. When it comes back around, he’s holding a red and white axe. He strums it, and then reaches to tune it some. “Just a second...You’d never know the damage a guitar like this can cause.”

“I have watched you break them on Gumm-Gumms and goblins before, so maybe I do know.” Zoe pulls her legs up to her chest and rests her chin on her knees. She recalls that time she opened his apartment door and found him holding an acoustic over his shoulder like a bat in defense. 

“You’ve never seen anything like this before, though.” He strums a couple chords, voice still full of awe. She realizes that it’s faintly pulsing the same blue magic that Douxie casts. _So it’s a magic guitar._

With a little caution, he begins to play some song that rings a bell in Zoe’s mind. For an electric guitar, it’s producing sounds that are very much owed to the lute. It’s a soft and nostalgic sound, like watching some old movie you hadn’t seen in years and remembering the flare of emotions on first seeing it. Ever so gradually, Zoe starts to feel the music. It’s like the sounds travel through her nerves, awakening some sense and understanding of magic that lives inside of her. It’s something any magical creature has; a sort of sixth sense. To varying degrees, they can tell when there is magic around something or someone. Zoe likes to think that she’s always been a little more in-tune with it than others, but she knows it’s nothing compared to what Nari feels, reaching out and touching millions of souls across the continent. 

But she really feels and understands this music. Hell, it’s more than just music, it’s a ballad, she realizes. She would say it’s missing the words, but it’s a piece where the words and meaning and sound are just all interwoven already, something that is both complete and incomplete. It settles her mind and at the same time makes her feel so vividly alert. It’s a song of love and heartbreak and life and death, it’s the tale of time itself. She knows that she’s never heard this music before, but she knows it, intrinsically. Douxie’s eyes are closed and a sort of strange sadness shows on his face. The tone of the music has changed as it slows, to something much more still. Much less alive. And the notes die down to nothing and the guitar vanishes from his hands. He looks tired again, weary. 

“Douxie, what was that?” Zoe dares breathe in the silence. 

He finally opens his eyes and looks to her. “I’m not sure. It just happened. I should rest before we leave.” 

They stand and walk back in stunned quiet. 

***********************

It’s nearly midnight and Zoe has been watching Douxie square away supplies for a couple hours now. The ship is nearly loaded and ready to leave and Douxie seems a little better after a second nap. Nari and Archie are already on the ship, waiting for Douxie to stop aimlessly wandering the tiny apartment. To her knowledge, he’s taken only a few small possessions from the bookstore and his apartment. They’d locked and warded the rest of his things for his return. 

“Think that’s all?” Zoe asks, following him around the apartment once more.

“I hope so. We need to be off and you need to go sleep. I’m guessing you have work tomorrow?” He gives her a pointed look. She pushes unthinkingly at his chest and he sucks in a breath. “Careful.”

“I do, but there’s this amazing modern thing called energy drinks and that tends to help. But once you’re out of my hair I really do need to get some good old fashioned sleep in.” She yawns and stretches, rubbing at her drooping eyes. 

He nods in agreement and they head up the stairs to the roof. The door creaks open to the clear night sky, the fresh air comforting him. Zoe wishes that she was boarding that ship with them and sailing far, far away from here. But she needs to watch over Arcadia for now and keep herself safe. 

“So, this is goodbye then?” She asks, leaning against some shed on the roof. Douxie stops beside her. 

“Not goodbye. It’s not the end of things, so it’s just a farewell, and see you later, sort of thing. You know I’ll be back.” Douxie reaches a hand out to her and pulls her into a hug. She buries her nose into his shoulder. “I know I’ve said it a million times, but thank you for everything. It’s more than I should ask for.” 

“It’s nothing, Doux. You really have to go now. Maybe at some point I’ll get Claire to let me visit you via shadow travel, huh?” She meets his hazel eyes, everything in her mind begging him to stay right here and hold her longer.

“That would be quite nice. Well, I’ll see you again soon, then.” She begins to reluctantly draw away, not trusting him to let go before she did. “Take care of yourself and the others.”

“I will, Douxie. You know I will. You keep yourself out of trouble as best you can. Until another day.” She brushes his hair out of his face and steps back. A heartbeat passes, both of them just holding each other’s gaze. Something flashes over Douxie’s face and then it’s gone. 

“Hey! Are we leaving or not?” calls Archie over the rooftop. His tail snaps back and forth.

“Yeah, yeah I’m coming!” Douxie shouts back. Before he’s even taken a couple steps away, he’s already turned back around and grabbed Zoe’s hand. Her brows meet in confusion. “I am so, so not sorry for this,” he whispers, cupping her face with a hand.

He kisses her cheek, lingering for hardly a moment. Her heart skips a couple beats and anything she could possibly think of has been vaporized. A trademark Douxie smile plasters itself to his face as he turns and vaults onto the ship. 

“Send me an email! I’ll keep you updated!” he shouts over the sound of the ship powering up. He waves until they’re out of sight around the corner. 

“Damn you, Hisirdoux,” Zoe mutters. Lucky for her, she now has plenty of time to figure all that out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did I reference one of my more liked Bob Dylan songs in this one? Perhaps. Do I regret it? Absolutely not, and now I'm on a roll of chapter titles being song names. Have fun guessing them if I don't explicitly state it. :))


	3. Drops of Jupiter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim heads home with his best of friends, rediscovering a few things about himself and life, and finding that it's better than he'd imagined to be back. It's going to take some getting used to, but he's certainly getting there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's mostly fluff here, I couldn't bring myself to make our poor Jimbo hurt after all he's been through and more. I only just realized we had three main protagonists die(two came back but still) in this one season alone. Jim deserves all the rest and good things from now on.

Sunlight had never felt better. Not after a cold winter night, not after a thunderstorm. Not even after the Darklands. He never knew just how much he would miss it. For several stunned seconds, he just stands there in the glory of the morning. 

“Feels nice, doesn’t it?” Claire steps to his side and rests his chin on her shoulder. It’s been too long since she was able to do that. 

“Yeah. It sure does,” he whispers. He closes his eyes and just soaks in the warmth, his skin feeling so alive compared to his stone flesh. He sucks in a breath of air, realizing how neutral his senses are again. It’s sort of a relief that he doesn’t have that heightened awareness anymore. “You saved me again, Claire.”

“Jim, I’d save you as many times as it would take. But for now, try to do your best to keep safe, alright?” Claire squeezes his shoulders and yawns. 

“Yeah. We’ve had the adventures of a lifetime, haven’t we Tobes?” Jim looks to his best friends. They both show the signs of scars from fighting, both looking more refined and tired than they had back when this had all started. He can only imagine what he looks like now. 

“You can say that again.” Toby comes to stand beside Jim. “But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”

The three are standing on the overlook above the town, the same one where they’d parted ways just shy of a year ago. Jim feels a terrible ache in his chest, thinking of what had happened between then and now. All that fighting and pain and traveling and then the world nearly ending yet again. And he reminds himself that things are a bit better now. Maybe they’ll be able to actually rest now. 

“I guess we go home now?” Jim asks, not really to anyone in particular. 

“Yeah. Barbara would probably like to learn about all this,” Claire says, gesturing to his human body.

Jim laughs lightly, and they turn from the outlook and make their way back down. “I’m sure she would. But I’m guessing she’s at the hospital again, and probably will be for a while.”

“Yeah. So in the meantime, we get cleaned up. And hey! Maybe you can cook us something again!” Toby suggests, excitement beaming on his face.

Jim grins. “I’ll do my best. I’d be happy not to ever eat utensils or socks again. I think.” 

They make their way home, the sun warming their backs. The noise of the town slowly grows as people filter back into what is once more their rubble-filled home. Jim remembers the first few times the streets had been completely and utterly destroyed. And he hopes that it’s the last, but he just can’t bring himself to believe that things are truly over yet. 

Ever since he picked up that amulet, it’s been one thing after another. He misses those days when it was just him and Draal sparring in Trollmarket, biking after goblins on school nights, and rehearsing Romeo in Juliet whenever he had a moment to breathe. So much had happened between then and now. A lot of bad and a lot of good. Jim guesses that in the end, it more or less equals out, but he can’t really say for sure. There were always going to be things out there that the world needed protection from. 

Jim makes his way up the steps of his home, feeling so much smaller. Sure, his increased height as a part-troll had made perspective a bit different, but he felt, well, like less now. As a troll, he felt like something powerful, unstoppable, determined. Now he’s fallen back on old insecurities. 

He sighs, moving through the house and taking in each room through that new lens. Now, he realizes with a little relief, he’d fit in his bed again, the shower curtain rod wouldn’t catch on his horns, and he would be able to enjoy an omelette again. 

He catches Claire smiling, watching him drag fingers over counters and walls and chairs. He’d missed having sensitive nerve endings in all his fingers. Jim makes his way back to her and hugs her for what had to have been the hundredth time in the past twenty-four hours. 

“It feels so good to be back. And to know that we can actually stay here,” he says quietly. He pulls away, brushing a strand of hair back behind her ear. “I need to go clean up. I’ll be back in a bit and then we can make dinner. Tell Aarrgh and Tobes they’re welcome to whatever snacks they can find.”

“Sure thing, Jimbo.” Claire just smiles at him and heads out the back door. Jim watches her go and sighs. He’s lucky that she’d been so understanding that night in the woods. He turns and heads upstairs, realizing how much better his human feet fit on the steps. 

Jim laughs to himself after ducking through the bathroom doorway unnecessarily. There would be so much to get used to again. He pulls his dirty shirt off and turns to the mirror. The same mirror he hadn’t looked into since before he stepped into that tub and took those irreversible steps that set so much into motion. But he’s come to terms with it. Instead, what catches his eye is a perfectly circular scar over his heart, with long pale lines trailing outward. He touches it, feeling the raised edges, and the familiar size of his amulet. There’s one that trails from his eyebrow, across his nose, and ending in a thin line across his cheek.

One scar to remind him of who he was(is?), shaped like some blazing falling star, another, a scar that would outwardly show that he’s been to hell and back. It’s intriguing, in a way. But this, too, Jim accepts and moves on with. He guesses there will be quite a lot of things to accept and move on. 

***********************

Jim makes his way downstairs, still toweling off his hair. He’d forgotten just how nice a fresh set of clothes was. He feels like he’s sloughed off a whole weight and it’s a wonderful thing. 

He goes to join his friends on the couch, watching whatever newest installment of Gun Robot was available to view for free. He finally begins to settle in and relax, pretending that these were just the good old days. And for all he cares, it was. 

Not long after, they make a steak dinner together, something plenty simple. There was a profound lack of ingredients in the house, and Jim realizes it was probably something his mom had done to keep herself from overdoing it on the food. 

“I missed human food so much,” Jim says through a mouthful of mashed potatoes. They were warm, buttery, and wonderful. 

“Jim missing out,” Aarrrgh says, shrugging and jamming more old VHS tapes into his mouth. Beside him, Blinky grumbles something under his breath and munches on a couple socks. 

“Guess what! Now we can have cake, and cookies, and all that again! Wait! Why don’t we have a party? A welcome back thing, for everybody?” Toby asks, jumping up from his chair, causing peas to pop off the plate and roll across the table. Jim brushes them together into a neat pile. 

“How about a barbeque? I can host it,” Claire suggests. “There will be chorizo!”

“That would be wonderful. There’s so much food I need to catch up on. I hear they have ice cream tacos now.” Jim shivers just thinking about flavors and food again. And then it hits him. “Guys. I just remembered...I can have a real life again! I’ll go to culinary school, become a chef! I can get degrees and everything!”

“First you need to get your high school diploma, Jim,” Claire says, pointing with her fork. 

“Yeah, I know, first things first. But still. This is so much better than I’d thought.” A warm feeling spreads through his body, some mix between satisfaction and something else. 

“I’m glad you’re doing well.” Claire smiles, just looking at him again. It makes his chest squeeze up and he nudges her foot under the table with his. 

“I am, too.”

***********************

It’s after midnight by the time Jim is woken up. He hears the door creaking open and two hushed voices. One is distinctly his mother. Jim practically vaults off the couch and slides on his socks on the hardwood. 

“Mom!”

“Jim?” Her voice is so delicate when she says his name. Her eyes are brimming with tears, her hands quivering. “Is that really you?”

“It’s really me, Mom.” 

She crosses the distance in two steps, crushing him in a hug. Her tears soak into his shoulder and Jim’s own stream down his face. 

“Are you okay? I mean, well, so much has happened- changed! Oh, Walter, please get the door.” His mother’s mind seems to be in a million places right now, and he guesses she’s probably exhausted on top of that. 

“Yeah, Mom, I’m doing great. It feels really good to be back.” He squeezes her one more time and steps away so she can set down her bags. 

“You’ll need to tell me about everything.” She touches her forehead and pulls her glasses off. “In the morning, that is. I really could use some sleep. I’m sorry.”

“Of course. I can use it, too. And please don’t be sorry it’s...a lot.” Jim looks back to his friends, asleep on the couch. He guesses they’ll wake up earlier than him in the morning, so he sees his mother off to bed before heading upstairs himself. _There will be so much to catch up on,_ he thinks as he dozes off. 

***********************

In the morning, Jim opens his eyes and the first thing he sees is the sun streaming into his room. He yelps and scuttles himself away from it, panting heavily. _That was a close one._ He reaches for the drawstring for his curtain, only then realizing. 

“Oh, right,” he mutters, seeing his pale, human hands in place of the stone flesh. A pair of feet come down the hallway, stopping at his door. He’s not familiar with the sound, so it’s not Mom. “Uh, hello?” 

“Morning, Jim,” Strickler says through the door. "Are you alright?” 

“Uh, yeah.” He crosses the room and opens the door. “I just had forgotten the sun won’t hurt me anymore.” 

Walter’s eyes cast down towards the floor. “Ah. I can’t imagine it’ll be an easy transition back. I know firsthand that it’s not so easy being...stuck in a form.”

Jim understands a moment too late. “Oh. Yeah. I’m sorry about that. But hey, at least there’s still the sun right?” That was the one thing Jim had cursed his transformation with. A half troll wasn't immune to sunlight, but the changelings were even in their trollish form.

“And my human appetite. I suppose it’s not all bad. Your mother raves about your food, Young Atlas. I have high expectations.” He smiles, and then gestures down the stairs. “Breakfast is ready whenever you are.”

“Thank you. I’ll be down in a bit. Oh! What did happen to all those babies?” Jim realized he’d heard drastically less crying when he’d arrived as to when he’d left a year ago. 

“We managed to get a lot of them adopted, but, well, you still have some siblings who are resting down the hall.” Strickler smiles and resumes his departure. 

Jim’s heart squeezes. Maybe he could convince Mom to keep one, or maybe two? Keep? Is that the right way to put it? He shakes his head. He just would love a sibling. Quickly changing out of pajamas, he creeps toward the guest room and opens the door excruciatingly slowly. 

There are four cribs in the room, each inhabited by two children divided by a mesh screen. All are asleep soundly, somehow. He creeps back out, heart aching. He’s ready to practically beg his mom to keep them. All of them. But breakfast summons him downstairs.

Jim smiles, feeling happily content for the first time in a very long time.


	4. You're All I Ever Had

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Douxie, Nari, and Archie have settled into their NYC apartment. Life isn't all that easy for Douxie and he is struggling to adapt, dealing with a new issue: heartache. Some Douxie playing the guitar time and Archie is a bro and helps him work out feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, I just can't leave poor Douxie alone, I love this wonderful wizard boy too much. And don't worry, I will work in a Nari POV soon here, lol...maybe just after I write more about my favorite nine-hundred-year-old wizards. 
> 
> Warnings: some mention of medication for mental illnesses and brief mention of self-harm/self-harm scars, a good deal of depression talk + angst. 
> 
> Song(lyrics referenced): You're All I Ever Had by Don McLean

“Are you okay, wizard?” Nari asks quietly, touching Douxie’s shoulder gently. He’s currently seated at the table in the sort of junky little apartment they were renting, head down. The table smells vaguely like tobacco and marijuana and he scrunches his nose, shifting to prop himself up on his elbows. 

“Yes, Nari, I’ll be fine.” He sighs, fingers digging into his scalp. He’s so unbelievably tired. He’s got three new jobs to balance here, leaving little to no time for any nightly excursions. Not that he and Archie should be going out and about anyways, but still. And there’s so much going on for him, mentally and emotionally. Physically, the parts of him that Zoe had treated were healing nicely. Speaking of, he remembers he needs to dress that gash again. “Just a lot to do.”

“If you say,” she says, returning to her small shelf of houseplants that butts up against the sliding doors to the balcony. It’s certainly nothing fancy. The ceiling has a series of cracks trailing across it, spreading some to the walls. The paint might have once been white, but it’s yellowed and stained. The water barely heats up. And of course, there’s the one loud neighbor, and the other one who has a few dogs that bark all hours of the night…

“Yeah. I’m all good.” Had Archie been awake, this lie would have been dismantled quickly. But Nari trusts easily. For Douxie’s sake, this is a good thing. 

He makes his way through the relative mess that is their apartment and enters the small bathroom. He closes and locks the door, moving to the sink and placing his palms on the plastic counter. He grips it hard, knuckles going white. “I hate this,” he whispers, the sounds barely coming out of his mouth. “I hate this I hate this I hate this.” He removes his shirt, hissing as the material tugs on the many wounds. 

He meets his eyes in the mirror and studies his reflection. He’s gaunt and pale, large, purple bags under his eyes nearly matching a shade of makeup Zoe used to wear. His arms are still well-muscled, but anything extra he has on his bones is quickly wearing off, and not in the sense of being fit. He’s doing his best to keep up with exercising, jogging, using an inexpensive local gym when he can. But it doesn’t make up for the way stress is hurting him. The scars are much less red now, but he can tell that it will be years for even the small ones to fade well. He looks hard at his eyes again. _The eyes of someone who couldn’t save Merlin. The eyes of someone who was running, not fighting._

“Bloody hell,” he murmurs, taking it all in. He shakes his head and tugs the mirror away to open the medicine cabinet. “Why can’t these come in just one singular pill, hmm?” 

Douxie places the three- wait, no, four now -pill bottles on the counter. His eyes scan the labels. One for anxiety, two for depression, and the newest one for his insomnia. He painfully recalls years ago, before medication was really a thing, he had taken to drinking his sorrows away. All these labels recommend against drinking and taking medication. Not that he could if he wanted to; he’d never be legally old enough anymore, not unless the laws changed drastically. He fills his glass and downs them, one at a time, skipping the insomnia medication until it’s later, suppressing his gag reflex with unusual difficulty today. 

He sets it back down a little too hard, a harsh clink echoing in the bathroom and he flinches. He’s such a mess. With some struggling to convince himself, he showers, trying and failing to relax in the luke-warm water. He’s even begun to get some song stuck in his head. _Just lovely._

All the awful thoughts circle in his head again, reminding him of how much he’s still tormented by. He moves out of the stream of water for a moment to find the shampoo bottle he’s looking for and cringes on seeing his bare arms. Those small, straight scars were not ones given to him by some demon or Gumm-Gumm. Those were of his own doing. A result of his lowest lows. His gauntlet and bracelets were great for concealing them, something he was often doing. Most of the time, he forgot they were there at all. This is enough to set him off crying again. He finishes showering, tears and shampoo mixing on his skin. He’d stay there, under the lukewarm water, but he doesn’t have the money for those bills, so he shuts it off and towels off, raw wounds on his back screaming out. 

He dresses himself and wipes the mirror, revealing his red and puffy eyes. Douxie just sighs and drags a comb through his hair, noticing the dye has begun to fade noticeably. The last half a dozen times, he and Zoe had dyed their hair together. His chest squeezes, realizing that this time she’s not around to ask to do it. Maybe he’ll let it fade away, he thinks. Maybe this is what he’d thought would one day happen, centuries and centuries ago. That he and Zoe would split paths. Hell, at some points, they’d gone decades without seeing each other. But somehow they always found each other again. 

This time it doesn’t feel like it’ll be so easy. And he misses her like hell already. He should let go. Let her live her own life without him being there to have to care for all the time. _She’s got all these hopes and dreams of her own and it’s not fair to hold her back._ He recalls a few weeks ago, sitting on that bench together, saying he’d take her around the world. 

That may never happen. Especially not if they never find a way to secure Nari’s safety. It wouldn’t be fair to risk Zoe’s life like that. Although he knows there’s no stopping her if she wants to do something. He’s learned that well. He knows her so well. He doesn’t know what’s changed, but he feels like he can’t be at peace without her around. She and Archie are the last ties to his first century in Camelot, his only remaining family. 

Well, okay. Charlie’s words ring in his mind again. “Family is also who you’re with.” And he understands that. Nari is like family now, along with Jim and Claire and Toby and he supposes, Steve. But it doesn’t feel right, being on the opposite side of the nation as those he is closest to. But it’s safest for them all. 

Safest for everyone but Douxie. 

Douxie’s shaking hands drop the comb, the plastic knocking around in the sink before settling. He clenches his jaw hard, more tears coming. He doesn’t even bother trying to stop them. He perches on the edge of the tub, wet hair and tears soaking his shirt. He can’t afford to lose anyone and yet it feels as though he already has. 

It’s not long before he can’t cry anymore. He’s been crying for days on and off and it gets exhausting. He goes to get up and finally begins moving things back in the bathroom, cleaning up as much as he can bring himself to. It’s like he has these weights attached to him at all times. His feet drag, his shoulders slouch. And he just hurts. 

He can’t bring himself to face Nari so he crosses the hall instead and locks his bedroom door behind him. The room is a mess he also can’t bother to clean. Clothes are heaped in piles of clean on a chair and dirty on the floor beside it. His bed is unmade, sheets sliding off. A suitcase remains half unpacked at the foot of his bed. Sheet music lays scattered across the floor. His acoustic guitar sits in the corner and his old broken electric axe rests on the dresser. He’d planned on getting it repaired or something, but he’d never found the time or reason to. For now he keeps it as a memory. 

A memory of the time Merlin returned and left the state in the same week and neglected to remember that his apprentice existed until nearly a year later. It’s sort of nonsense in his mind. He’d never really gotten over that. His heart aches again, thinking of his master and all the things he’d say to him. 

Douxie runs his fingers over the damaged strings of the axe, breathing deeply. Nothing is relaxing him properly. Not like it should be. He turns to the acoustic. The beautiful guitar is cased, and even warded. It’s some decades old, and his first real guitar he’d ever bought. Gingerly, he picks it up and finds a guitar pick. Often, music is the one thing that brings him any real clarity.

He sits on his bed and strums the strings absently, waiting for a chord or a tune to come to him. He wants something to feel like how he feels, something quiet but meaningful. 

Douxie is hit with it, suddenly, and he knows just what he’ll play. It’s no time before his fingers are dancing over the strings, the vibrations like a relaxing hum to him. 

Quietly, he begins to sing, his voice scratchy. “You’re all I ever had…you’re...all I need. It’s been so long…” he strums along, forgetting the words just a bit. “I’ve seen so much...and you’ve been with me, through it all…”

Douxie pauses, fingers hovering. Everything in him wants to break down and cry again. This song is for her. But maybe he can just make it through this song first. _Yeah, that will be the goal. I’ll get through the song._

“When I think of funny things...and the joy your laughter brings...turning winter into spring, it warms my soul.” He finds his confidence now, the words and rhythm coming easier. “I want today to last forever. I want forever, and a day. I wanna hear your voice each morning, and when the moon is on it’s way…” 

He keeps playing, the notes reminding him so much of her. Zoe was rather fond of Don McLean, he recalls. They’d actually seen him in person once, something that Zoe talked about for months. Sure, she loved some AC/DC and Metallica and rocking out as much as the next person, but something about soft 70s pop and rock always put her at ease. And the more Douxie thinks about it, the more McLean songs he can think of that would fit them. A silly but comforting thought; there’s bound to be hundreds of songs he could find that would fit them, but of course the ones that Zoe liked were always going to be the best choices. 

“We’re all we ever had…And somehow we both knew...that one alone, without the other, wouldn’t do…” He aches for her and he can’t believe that he told her she had to stay. He’d take her here in a heartbeat, and he’d love to sing badly for her, just to see her smile.

“If there’s heaven far beyond, I hope my goddess, is a blonde…and that she has a magic wand...and looks like you…” These lyrics fit unusually well, something he always thinks, even if it’s not the intended meaning. The notes drop away until it’s silent again.

Douxie sets the guitar down beside him and lays flat on the bed, staring at the ceiling. He doesn’t want to admit how much he feels for her. And he certainly doesn’t want to admit it’s getting in the way of his work, just like Merlin said it would. But Merlin has been wrong a hundred times. And maybe it’s long overdue that he breaks this rule, too. There’s no way there’s nothing between them. Everyone can see it and he’s been asked a million times if they’re a thing, to which he always sadly responded no. He flips over onto his side and grabs a pillow, hugging it closely to this chest. He’s not sure how much longer he can take this. 

All he can think about is her smug smiles, her confidence and power in just the way she moved, her brilliant blue eyes, her electric pink hair dancing around her face. The way she moved when she danced, her face when playing the drums with their band and her makeup under the lights, her bravery and stubbornness and her intelligence and everything about her. He remembers when he’d left Arcadia a couple weeks ago and almost regrets not actually kissing her. 

Almost. Because it would be the second time he’d ever done that and the first time it...hadn’t ended well. That was a story in itself. As much as he hated to admit it, she kind of intimidated him. He’d never seen her afraid before. Concerned, worried, maybe afraid that he’d do something stupid, but it just never seemed like anything scared her. He supposes it would make sense, after all, coming from someone who’s first experience with magic was getting struck by lightning and making it out alive. 

“Douxie? Where are you?” Comes Archie’s voice, ringing out in the small apartment. The sound of small dragon claws tapping on the linoleum grow louder. 

“I’m in my room, leave me alone,” he insists. He turns over onto his stomach and draws the pillow over his head. 

“Douxie, please come out. You’ve been hiding from us all day.” Archie is right at the door now, his voice lowered. 

“No, I haven’t. I’m just taking some time to myself, is all. I’m absolutely knackered.” He grimaces as a cramp in his leg acts up. He can’t get comfortable at all anymore. 

Archie’s paw appears under the door, swiping around at nothing in particular. “Let me in,” he says, sing-songy. Douxie smiles. For a familiar that doesn’t want to be treated like a cat, he sure has the tendency to act an awful lot like one. 

“Fine. But only you. And only for a bit.” Douxie waves a hand at the door and it unlocks and swings open. He begrudgingly sits up, stretching. 

“Douxie, have you been-”

“Yes, Arch, I’ve been crying. Gimme a break.”

“It’s okay to grieve, but maybe do you think it’s time to start going back to therapy, maybe talking about these things?” Archie jumps up onto the bed, rubbing his head against Douxie’s hand. He strokes the familiar absently.

“It’s not about Merlin this time.” He stops patting Archie and runs his fingers through his hair. 

“Well, alright. But I just mean in general. It might help you some to get these things off your shoulders.” Archie purrs to him, trying to get Douxie to relax a bit. 

“How am I supposed to talk to a mortal therapist that I’m struggling with centuries-suppressed feelings for someone living across the country from me who probably is still cursing my guts for abandoning her! And that I did it because I’m busy dealing with the stress of keeping all of the world safe! It’s pointless.” He throws himself back down on the bed, closing his eyes. “Merlin said wizards shouldn’t develop any feelings for others, especially romantically. Maybe he was right.”

Archie laughs at that. “Why, you’re just experiencing a good old bout of heartache is all. There’s nothing wrong with how you’re feeling. Merlin really didn’t know what he was talking about when it came to relationships. You surely should know this.”

“I don’t know. It’s just so confusing.” Douxie sighs. He recalls that scene of young Merlin and the woman who he supposes was his partner. 

“What’s confusing about it? You like her, don’t you?” Archie nudges his leg. 

“Like her, Arch? I’ve spent nearly nine hundred years thinking about her. It’s something more than just ‘like.’ I mean, gods, you’ve seen how I am around her.” He blushes, thinking of how ridiculous he must look, probably all puppy eyes tagging at her heels. But in the moment he really doesn’t tend to care. 

“I have indeed. I won’t comment on it.” The familiar grins, curling up against Douxie’s side. 

“So what am I supposed to do about it? I can’t just bring her along with us. It’s not safe.” Douxie groans again, that stupid fluttery feeling in his stomach becoming almost irritable. 

“Tell her how you feel.” 

“Anything but that. Besides, I still need to get my laptop up and running again and I lost her email a while ago, it’s on my phone. Which is probably back in 12th century Camelot.”

“I’m trying to help you here, you realize,” Archie says, purring again. 

“I know, I know. Should I just wait this out? She’ll probably send me an email if she hasn’t already. If I send a message, does that make me look clingy?” Archie casts him a withering look. “I’m in no state to be talking to anyone right now, am I?” 

“Well, like I said, if you get started back up on therapy, things will probably be a lot easier to handle. Maybe that first, and then we deal with your crush.”

“You’re probably right. I’ll get in touch with my doctor tomorrow. I need to figure out all the prescription copays anyway.” Douxie rolls over and wraps Archie in a hug. The familiar struggles and squeaks. 

“Don’t suffocate me!” But he purrs loudly, enjoying the warmth. “Did I happen to hear you playing the guitar earlier?”

“I was, yeah. Just one song.” Douxie sits up, hesitant to pick up the guitar again. “Why? You want to hear something?”

“It has been a long time since I’ve heard you play anything that’s not modern rock. I was particularly remembering a couple of older ballads.” Archie looks up at him, smiling. 

“I know you’re not talking sentimental ballads, so probably English ballads. What rhymes doth cross thy mind, dearest Archibald?” Douxie laughs a little, remembering that Shakespearean English was hardly ever heard outside the theater. 

“Stop that. I know it’s not your favorite, but ‘Scarborough Faire’ has been on my mind a bit.” 

Douxie shrugs. “Meaning is a little lackluster, disappointingly sexist in the originals. Well, way back in good ole 1600. Which version?”

“I’m partial to the originals usually, but Simon and Garfunkel is probably what you’re most familiar with.” Archie looks up to his wizard, making an expression Douxie just can’t quite work out. 

“Sounds good to me…” And Douxie sets about playing the song, singing what he can recall. Slowly, his tension is eased. 

**************************

Archie yawns, curled at Douxie’s feet, just barely still awake. “Thank you for the music.”

“Of course. I feel a little better.” Douxie stretches and hums to himself. 

“So, out of curiosity,” Archie begins. “What do you like about her?”

“Zoe?” Douxie’s face heats up. 

“Yes, her. Tell me about her, what you think of her.” Archie licks a paw, side-eyeing his wizard.

“Um, well. I don’t know where to start. She’s been my best human friend since forever. She’s got a great sense of humor. She puts up with all my issues and listens to all the stupid things I have to say. She’s always got my back. And she’s so smart. She knows all kinds of incredible things and is always picking up new things. She’s ace at the drums. She knows me, who I am, there’s nothing she doesn’t know about me.” _Well, no, there’s one thing._ “And I don’t have to say that she’s brave and ready to take on anything. And she’s beautiful.” 

“Mm hmm,” Archie says, nearly asleep. “You really have liked her forever. Luckily for you two, you probably have a lot more time left. I know she cares about you too.”

“But the same way? What if she just, doesn't?” 

“I somehow think you’d be pleasantly surprised.” 

Douxie’s insides feel all tangled up again and Archie has properly dozed off now. He gets up and enters the living room. It’s getting to that odd twilight hour before the lights come on and the city is the dimmest it ever gets. And he loves to watch it. The day going to sleep, those who keep things going at night emerge. It’s like watching some well-oiled gears moving together, turning and ticking where they always do. Nari is asleep on the couch, not at all crepuscular by nature. 

He quietly steps out onto the balcony, careful not to disturb any of the houseplants. He coughs in the polluted air, forgetting that he’d only enchanted their apartment to be filtered. He makes a mental note to extend it to the balcony. It’s not all that much extra space, anyways. 

He watches the streets below burst into life again, crowded with vehicles, the people crossing the streets like waves passing. Hundreds of lights line the city, like bobbing candle flames. Zoe would like this. A moth flutters beside him, and then an idea strikes him. A very Douxie-esque idea. 

He casts a little spell, planting the miniature rune on his palm and then holding it up to the night, blowing it away gently. The wisp of blue magic disappears into the night and Douxie smiles to himself, satisfied.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anything seems a little confusing in here, it might be because I’ve started to reference my series, A Wizard’s Beginnings, in these chapters, tying in some backstory I’ve laid down. There’s about four installments as of now and I’d highly recommend you check it out for the little details and such! I’m pacing it out so the new information only comes after it’s been in the series first of it’s a considerable story.


	5. Who Wants to Live Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe begins to feel terribly conflicted about not being with her oldest friend, ponders the future and past, and gets to know the locals a little better(but not necessarily in a good way.)
> 
> (or, the cinematic parallels are real for the purpose of angst)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This would have been posted earlier, but I decided to write the next two chapters instead, so uh, you can expect those rather soon after this, once they've gone through some more revisions, unless I decide to throw another chapter in before those ones. It was also going to be a short chapter, but 4k words later, I realize it is not.

Zoe, as a hedgewitch, has a million different talents and practices, but there’s still a few that quite reflect basic modern witchcraft, or wicca. It is, afterall, based on the real magic. In her apartment she has a small altar, with various herbs, stones, gems, and candles. Whether she does this for any gods or spirits or higher powers, she can’t say, but it does keep her content. 

Tonight, she switches the arrangement, shifting things. It’s representative of change, sudden and unexpected change. She positions several large, blueish gems towards the center of the altar, and a singular green crystal to the right, a pink one down to the left, and sets to lighting the candles. This is where she really makes the ritual her own. She lights the candles through little pink sparks, igniting the wick. The flames jump up, illuminating the altar’s little corner in a soft pink glow. She lights the sage last, a comforting smell entering the room. 

Zoe steps back to observe the altar. It’s nearly complete, but she just can’t pick out what it’s missing. “That’s it,” she says, realizing, snapping her fingers, something she’d picked up from Douxie over the years. She shoves paper aside, looking for that one thing that would complete it. She spots the little triangular piece of plastic and tucks it front and center. It takes her a moment to realize that the altar is for someone. 

And not just anyone. The blue stones, the guitar pick, a paper crane folded from old sheet music. It’s for Douxie. She guesses he’s already in New York by now, like he said he’d be going. She hadn’t heard from him yet, but knowing him, he’d be neck deep in jobs and caring for his familiar and Nari. She shifts one of the stones again, finding it hard to be satisfied with it. It needs to be just right for him, otherwise she can’t be confident in it’s effectiveness. Sure, it was the equivalent of a good-luck charm but it meant well and comforted her. 

Right before she’s about to turn away, the candles go out suddenly. There’s no drafts to be had. But before she can investigate it further, a little blue moth comes to land on the altar and the candles relight, in shades of bright blue flame. The moth crawls onto her hand when she reaches out. It’s glowing slightly, it’s wings covered in strange markings. When she peers closer, she sees that they’re actually runes. 

It’s Douxie. There’s no other way it could be. Not only does it seem like something he would do, but between the magic type and color, it had to be. It just felt like his magic. 

“Now what is this all about?” she muses, setting the moth back on the altar. She guesses he’s just sending a sign, a little “I’m alive” message. It’s adorable, actually, that he would take the time to do something like this that she would obviously appreciate. And of course, that he remembered her altar. The moth arriving on the same night she made an altar for Douxie though had to have been pure coincidence. Or twist of fate. 

Why he did this, she can’t really say. She seriously appreciates it nonetheless as it quells her fears that they were ambushed or hurt or worse. It reminds her that she hasn’t reached out to message him, not yet. She’s seriously been thinking about it though, part of her considering whether or not it makes her seem too attached or not. Zoe shakes her head, realizing she’s obviously overthinking this. He may not even have her contact info anymore. 

It’s late, and it’s far past time for her to go to bed. She’s working early in the morning. Hex Tech is nearly back on its feet, but it’s going to take the whole lot of hedgewizards and witches to piece it back together. Claire was going to be there. Douxie had told her to get to know the budding witch, and the more Zoe thinks about it, the more important it probably is that Claire learns a few things about being a witch. 

And there’s a hell of a lot to consider before Claire takes that path. Zoe returns to her altar and runs her fingers through the magic flames, knowing they won’t burn her. It’s a kind flame, warming, but never burning her skin. Usually, she’d put the candles out, but she feels less lonely with the blue light flickering. Does she ever regret becoming a witch? She can’t say she has. But she’s lost a lot over the years. And though she knows she hasn’t, it seems that she’s lost her oldest friend. 

She makes her way to her room, dropping onto her bed. She removes all her bracelets and rings and sets them aside, feeling a little like she’s shedding a part of herself. Identity is a funny thing, she thinks, thinking of the many faces she’s had over the years. 

Her phone buzzes and she picks it up, her heart leaping a little at the possibility it’s Douxie. It’s not. It’s her fellow employees, asking when to be in tomorrow morning. She makes a note to email Douxie tomorrow. He probably has his hands full, as always. She misses him. Instead of entering the work chat, she opens her photos and scans until she finds the album of photos with her and Douxie and Archie. There’s photos of them at concerts, of their band all up on stage together, a final bow, Douxie sliding across the stage on his knees, a picture of Archie bathing in the sun, Archie with tuna on his whiskers, Douxie sticking his tongue out as he concentrated on a piece of sheet music, a selfie with the three of them. That one is probably her favorite. They’re backed by a beautiful summer sky, Archie rolling his eyes, Douxie and Zoe both throwing up that classic hand gesture with their tongues sticking out, winking. And they just look so damn happy. 

Zoe crawls under the covers, still studying that photo as her eyes droop. She lingers on Douxie’s splattering of freckles, his hazel eyes, the way his hair is partly in his face and his skull necklace that matches hers, hanging over his low-cut tank top. He’s grinning like there’s nothing in the world that could stop him. And maybe there’s not, she thinks. Eventually, she drifts off to sleep. 

*****************

_Zoe crashes through the underbrush of a dark wood. It’s night and the only light is that of the moon, flitting in and out from behind the clouds. Angry yells and fiery torches fill the way behind her. The only direction she has to go is away and out. This isn’t the first time she’s been hunted._

_Something in her says it’s not the last, either. She’d been persecuted as a magic user her whole life. There’s no century she’ll ever be safe or welcomed. Her back is marred with the lines of a whip. Her wrists are bruised from the shackles she’d pulled herself from. They’d planned on drowning her, to see if she was innocent or not. She was guilty of being a witch, but never of hurting any of the townspeople. Not that it would matter; she would drown as any sort of mortal would. Her longevity would not protect her from that._

_She runs until she can’t see anything in the dark anymore, until she can feel the blood trickling down her face from the hundreds of branches slapping against her skin. She runs until she collapses and the ground falls out from beneath her. She crawls then, everything in her body screaming in pain and her mind in terror._

_She goes until she cannot move, her body shutting down, ready to give up on her. But she couldn’t. She had to keep going. Had to stay alive. Had to survive. The sparks from her fingertips dance, reminding her that even when it seems she’s lost everything, there’s still something to resort to. But the more she looks, the more the little sparks are fading, dying out like cold embers flickering in an abandoned fire._

_Eventually, there is no more light, and no more sparks. And Zoe sets her head down upon the ground and breathes out one last time._

***************

Zoe bolts upright in bed, panting, chest heaving. Her eyes dart about the room, her mind urging her to get up and run, to never stop running and never look back. 

She breathes. She’s fine. And there’s no angry colonists waving torches at her. She lifts her hand, sparks very much alive on her fingers. She sighs heavily. 

“You’re fine,” she mumbles to herself, checking the clock. It’s only minutes until the alarm goes off, so she gets up and cancels it, heading into the kitchen. If Douxie were here, she’d have called him and talked for a bit. That was likely one of her least favorite nightmares, and a recurring one at that. And he was good at talking her down from these things. 

Out of habit, she pulls her phone out and finds Douxie’s number in her contacts. She realizes it’s probably during work for him, and she guesses that he still doesn’t have a phone. But she wants to hear his voice. She clicks the little phone button. 

The call goes to voicemail, as she suspected it would, but she’s still mildly disappointed. 

“Hey, you’ve reached Hisirdoux Casperan. Leave a message, send a text, email, or a raven, I’ll get back to you when I can. Peace out.” 

She knows he won’t get it, but she leaves a message anyways. “Hey Doux, it’s Zoe. I know you won’t get this, because I’m sure your phone is dead-dead, but if it’s not, know that I will kill you for not answering the phone, I don’t care what you’re up to. Anyways, besides from that, because I know that you won’t get this, I just wanted to hear your voice. It’s been a while. I miss you. I’ll be sending an email once I’m off work this afternoon, or tonight, we’ll see, so I’m sure I’ll hear from you soon enough. Well, I have to go to work, we’re fixing Hex Tech. So, uh, bye.”

She feels awkward about it as soon as she leaves the message, but it feels nice to have been able to hear his voice. She hopes that whenever she does reach out, they’re able to pick right back up like normal, because she hates any sort of awkwardness. And of course there’s bound to be a lot of that with her centuries-old crush. Not that he’d ever really reciprocate, she guesses. Merlin instilled some stupid thing in his head saying that he should never love anyone. Or something like that, but it seems to be a rule Douxie lives by with fear and hesitancy. It’s not one Zoe ever was taught, but more adopted, to spare herself from the pain. She’s loved and lost over the years. Maybe never really romantically loved anyone, she kept herself from that, but she’s had best friends she’s had to leave behind around the world before they could know each other for long. And before she could even get the chance to say goodbye, they were gone. A regular mortal’s life was barely a decade to her, passing like the seasons. 

She sighs and tugs on her work uniform, vowing to get out of here before she can think of anything else overwhelmingly sad. Besides, there’s real work to get done today. 

********************

Zoe walks to work today, taking a little extra time to bring some of the tuna she usually saved for Archie to the strays. She had decided to relocate them for now, as housing them somewhere a bit safer than the troll-ridden streets of Arcadia could only mean good things. She rounds the corner and spots one of the people she both wants and doesn’t want to see. But she remembers what Douxie said and guesses she couldn’t be all that bad. 

“Hey! Claire!” Zoe calls out across the sidewalk, waving to the girl. _She’s got a bit of a punk look to her,_ she thinks.

The girl turns on her heel, spotting Zoe. “Oh! Hey! You’re Douxie’s friend, right?” 

“Yeah, I’m Zoe. Sorry that I never properly introduced myself, a lot of stuff was happening that night.” Zoe holds her hand out to Claire, who shakes it firmly. 

“No worries. How’s my teach?” Claire smiles at that, or possibly just at herself. 

“Your who?” Zoe is genuinely confused for a moment before it hits her. “Ohhhh. You must mean Douxie. He said he taught you some things, but, well, I have my doubts.”

Claire frowns. “You shouldn’t. He’s an impressively powerful wizard, you know. I think he’s more powerful than even Merlin was at his prime.” 

“Good one,” Zoe laughs. _Don’t tell me there’s more he was hiding from me._ “But honestly, I haven’t talked to him since he left. I was going to send an email tonight and check in. It’s been too long. Before he left, though, he did ask if I’d teach you a thing or two.”

Claire eyes the hedgewitch with some apprehension. “I can really only do shadowmancy.” 

“Morgana couldn’t only do shadowmancy.” Claire cringes away at that and Zoe immediately regrets it. She remembers too late that Claire had some unfortunate run-ins with the evil sorceress. “There’s a lot of magic I know you’re capable of. But there’s a few things you should know before you commit to a life of magic.” Some fellow hedgewitches call out to Zoe and Claire as the work begins. 

“Say we go out for lunch, after this is done?” Claire asks, smiling. _She’s a bit too cheery for my liking. Doesn’t know what she’s getting into. But it’s possible a thousand years have made me bitter._

“Yeah, sounds good to me.” Zoe is somewhat surprised at the speed in which she threw herself into that, so readily. There’s so much she will need to say to the poor girl, and so much to explain. But it has to be someone’s job, she supposes. Immortal wizards sign off on the easy things, she recalls. 

The various wizards and witches gather around the store, rolling up sleeves and preparing to do heavy lifting. Why they can’t just hire a contractor is beyond her, but Zoe doesn’t mind being able to flex her abilities from time to time. It gives her a good excuse to test her limits and exercise her ability, to find where the weak spots are. Zoe sets her mind to it and begins chanting spells through gritted teeth. 

*************

Claire and Zoe take their seats at Benoit’s, the one that she usually chose when she’d drop by to annoy Douxie. Not that he’s here to annoy, but the familiarity is comforting. They order their food and as soon as the waitress is gone, they talk. 

“So I know there’s a lot to learn and all, and I’m sure there’s so much history I just don’t know about, and really, if you’re willing to teach me, I’d love to listen,” Claire starts, sipping at her coffee. “I don’t really need to become like Douxie or anything. It just needs to be enough to protect Jim.”

Zoe looks down at her placemat, considering the delicacy with which she needs to say her next words. “So, about Jim. He’s back to a human again I heard?” 

“Yeah. He seems to be recovering well, though. I think it’s just been a little tough transitioning just after he’d gotten used to it. You saw him at that barbecue last week, right?” 

“I was only there for a bit, but yeah. He tried eating that sock,” Zoe laughs now, recalling the disastrous situation. It had been worth having to talk to Strickler for that alone. “Anyways, there’s a few things about being a magic user you’re going to want to know.” 

“Well, shoot. I can take it,” Claire says with confidence, and Zoe has no doubt she can take it. Claire almost reminds her of her younger self, the one that was ready to take on the world with nothing more than a wand, Douxie at her side, and his shape-shifting familiar. But that witch isn’t the witch she is today. Not by a long shot. And not in a bad way; she’ll still take on the world with her oldest friends at her side, but maybe this time she’ll care a little more whether they live or die, and think through the consequences. 

“So. Magic use, regular magic use, has the tendency to make you stop aging after you’ve used it for long enough, usually about ten years. In those ten years, you’ll still age and grow and all, maybe a few small hitches here and there.” Zoe refrains from saying “I got stuck short” as one of her points. “However, if the magic user stops entirely, it only takes about a year for regular aging to resume like normal. Infrequent magic use, like maybe a few times a year, will have little to no effect on aging unless it’s massively powerful. But magic is like a muscle. You don’t use it, it becomes weaker.” 

“Okay,” Claire says, nodding. “I think I follow.” 

“I don’t know how to put it without sounding, well, rude, but we don’t know much about what Jim’s aging will be like. As a troll, he would have had a greatly increased lifespan, usually about that of a wizard. A troll wizard, even more so. Vendel was probably three thousand years old, at least.” Zoe meets Claire’s now clouding eyes. “I guess to put it simply, I think Jim will have a normal human lifespan again. And if you continue to use magic as much as you have been, well, you’ll end up with that extended lifetime.” 

Claire is silent as she ponders this. Her eyes almost seem to get misty, to the point where she wipes at tears that aren’t falling. Zoe knows she’s thinking about Jim’s death and revival. “So are you saying I need to stop using magic?” 

“No! No, no, that’s totally up to you what you do. And you’ve still got a few years before any effects kick in at all, and about eight or so before the immortality does. It’s ultimately your choice. But I just wanted you to be aware.” Zoe picks her words carefully, trying to predict a problem before it emerges. “I didn’t think Douxie had really explained this to you properly, or had the time to.”

“He didn’t. I guess...it’s a lot to think about. I’ll really need to think on it for a bit. But I appreciate it, I really do.” Claire smiles less enthusiastically now. “But if you don’t mind doing a bit of teaching here and there, I’d love to learn a few things.”

“No problem at all. I’ve taught a few hedgewitches in my time.” Zoe’s begun to take a little bit of a liking to Claire. She’s got potential. 

“I’m not sure if it’s...okay...to ask, but...how old are you?” Claire shifts food around on her plate. Zoe shrugs. 

“Only a few years older than Douxie. But at this point, a few years is practically months. I only care to use it as leverage in arguments with him. He’s the only other wizard I’ve met who started around the same age and years as I did, and who’s kept it up for so long. I suppose the only reason I’m still going is that Douxie is here and I feel like I have some obligations to help protect the world where I can.” Zoe sighs a little, thinking of Douxie again, across the country. 

“Are you two more than just friends?” Claire grins, eyes sparkling. 

“I- we’re-” she makes a strange noise in her throat, trying to work out the right way to say it. “I guess not. Merlin basically told him never to have romantic feelings at all, so…”

“But you like him.” 

“Yes,” Zoe answers begrudgingly. _More than just like._

“I’m pretty sure he likes you as more than just a friend. And besides, Merlin is gone, and my teach doesn’t follow rules anyways. I think you two should see what comes of it.” Claire shrugs. “Despite everything Jim and I have gone through, I know it’s all worth it.” 

“Yeah. I suppose there is a possibility. I just, I don’t want to change anything about the relationship we do have. Don’t want to lose my oldest friend,” Zoe says, face twisting in uncertainty. But the more she thinks about it, the more they’ve been acting like they’re courting for hundreds of years. Have they? Hell, she flirts back, the only thing she’s still confused on is whether or not he wants to be in that sort of relationship. 

“I think you’d be surprised. You know, he talked about you a few times when we were in Camelot. Just little things. But it was clear he missed you and he thought you would have enjoyed being back in time.” 

“Just for the food,” she laughs. “I’m guessing you’re right. I’ll be shooting him an email tonight anyways.” 

“Good! And best of luck. I think things will turn out much better than you think.” Claire winks at her, gathering her things and setting some bills on the table. “And speaking of romantic interests, I really need to be going because I planned a date with Jim. I’ll see you around!” 

Zoe stops her and hugs her, smiling. “Have fun,” she says, waving as she leaves. For a budding witch, she seemed quite competent, even if she might not keep up with it for nearly so long as Zoe and Douxie had. She begins to think of a few things that she should teach Claire, the first being a spell for light. Something symbolic. Clarity. 

It’s not a long walk from the restaurant to her record store. She’s stopping by to grab a few of the new records that came in over the weekend to play for herself. Not that it’s new music. It’s a track of 70’s hits. Probably the fourth track of purely 70’s music that she has, but it’s got different songs on it and so is justified. Something about the 70’s is comforting to her lately, but she doesn’t quite want to admit it’s because it reminds her of Douxie. 

She reaches Zimoc’s and unlocks the door, quickly running in and grabbing the records, and then back out before the alarm has the time to reset. As she’s relocking the door, humming something under her breath, a yell comes from behind her. 

“Die, creep!” screams a tall, blonde guy in a suit of armor. He swings the sword clean through the goblin behind her, and then swings the weapon again- and puts it straight through the window. 

Zoe stands perfectly still, willing herself to not do anything irrational. “That. Was my brand new window.”

“Oh. Sorry. I killed that goblin that was gonna get you so maybe you should be thankful,” Steve says. She recalls him now, remembering hearing some things Douxie had said about him falling into the portal with them. “You’re welcome.”

“You do realize-” Zoe starts, before cutting herself off. “Nevermind. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“Well, I’m a knight. Of the Round Table. The only one for now, but that’s changing.” Steve slings the sword- no, axe, she corrects herself -over his shoulder. It’s a massive tooth, and would be an impressive weapon if he’d not just destroyed her window. 

“Dude, I don’t know what sorts of drugs you’re on, but I think you need to go home. Please don’t break anything else.” Zoe throws a ward up over the broken piece of glass, hoping it’s enough. 

“I’m not on drugs! Wait! You’re the college dude’s friend. I saw you at that computer store.” When he’s met with a blank look, he stumbles to clarify. “Uhhh, dumbledork, wizard guy.”

“Hisirdoux?” Zoe can’t even hide her face of disappointment. Her best friend, the supposedly best wizard in the world now, relegated to “dumbledork.”

“Yeah! Him! He said I’m a knight of the Round Table now. And that it’s my duty to uphold it. I also swore to Lancelot that I would,” Steve says with an air of pride. Zoe shakes her head. _What in the bloody hell was this bloke on about?_

“Whatever. I need to go home. Just be careful, and try not to break anything else.” Zoe shoulders past him, trying her best not to scream or turn him into a rat. As she walks, a light rain starts. She tugs her hood up, keeping the records tucked under her arm. She unlocks the door to her apartment building with a swipe of the keycard and dashes up the stairs, hoping that the elderly neighbors wouldn’t catch her and ask for tech help again. Not that she minded, it was just...tedious. 

Zoe closes her door behind her, breathing in deeply. Her apartment smells like lilacs, probably one of her favorite scents. She extinguishes the candle producing the scent and opens a couple windows, a chill breeze sweeping the room. The smell of petrichor was by far her favorite. She sets a record on the player as the two scents mix in the air. 

She moves to her desk and boots up her computer while she waits for dinner to heat up in the oven. She cracks her knuckles. It’s time she writes that email.


	6. Teen Spirit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe and Douxie have a little late night chat online. An exploration of these lovely characters before I really break into the fun stuff next chapter...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! I tried something different for this one and I had to resort to using rich text for this *shudders* but I think it came out okay after some tweaking. It's been sitting in my drafts for ever, and I know I just posted this morning, but I'm too eager to get this one posted, so here it is. I enjoyed this one, and sure, it appeals to my strange sense of humor a good deal, but I thought it was a great exploration of their dynamic.

**To:** douxiec1110@hmail.com

 **From:** zbrwitch@hmail.com

 **Subject:** idk u told me to email u 11:23PM PDT

hey so i know you said to email you and i couldn’t decide if you meant text or not, but then again, i doubt you’ve bought yourself a new phone yet. i can fix one up for you and send it your way if you ever get an address. anyways, its been a little while and so i thought id check in since i hadn’t heard from you. 

just to say, you did a real number on Hex Tech. Im still picking up your mess. i told you not to break anything and i think only like two laptops escaped unscathed. and that damn history teacher keeps saying he always knew you were bad luck. maybe he means Archie but i really dont know. some karen complained to me that the store should be fixed already. I told her to shut up and that might have been a mistake. 

its too quiet around here without you and niffin hunting isnt the same at all. the biggest trouble caused was steve this afternoon. He put a sword thru my brand new window. idk what crazy things you put in his head but he thinks hes some incredible knight that can do no harm. claire is a saint and came by to help fix a few things and she said you were a great teacher. somehow i don’t believe this but hey, maybe things do change. that Lake kid tried eating a sock the other day at a bbq and it was probably the funniest thing you’ve missed out on since you’ve been gone. 

you’d be happy to know that the high school shut down for the remainder of the year due to complete and utter destruction. p sure that was the last tower of camelot crashing to earth. so at some point soon you can expect a few of us visiting you. 

also bc you gave me the keys and your landlord allows pets, im housing all the alley strays in your apartment. i felt bad for them, srry

Cheerios, or smth british people say, 

  
Zo

( _1 attachment_ ) i_hope_you_like_pets.jpg  
  


* * *

**To:** zbrwitch@hmail.com

 **From:** douxiec1110@hmail.com

 **Re:** idk u told me to email u 2:30 AM EDT

Have you ever heard of these wonderful things called grammar, punctuation, and full sentences?

Again, I am so, so sorry about Hex Tech. I really tried on that one, I promise you. It actually wasn't my fault for once but I still take full responsibility for bringing them all there. Say the word and I’ll foot maybe a third of the bill. Maybe an eighth. I’m sort of broke. Merlin managed to leave a lot of bills for someone who didn’t ever live in the modern day beyond the 1110’s. All I ever knew Uhl from was Battle of the Bands, so I can’t say much to that. Archie is probably the only good luck that tails me, honestly. And my apologies. I’ve met a number of Karen’s already.

I miss niffin hunting too, but luckily there’s plenty of creatures for Arch and I to keep busy with when I’m not working. Not that we’re trying to go out or anything. As for Steve, well, he’s been like that for a very long while according to his friends. Probably time to get used to it. And what I wouldn’t give to have seen Jim. I miss you guys a lot. 

I’m sure Claire is a bit sad to see her school closed, especially when she just got back. Knowing Arcadia, they’ll have things sorted out in no time. I would welcome some (temporary) visitors with open arms once I get everything sorted out with the apartment. Rent’s insane in NYC. I mean, I knew that already, but you don’t quite understand it til you’re here. I’ve been working three jobs to keep up with it.

I can absolutely believe that you put all those cats in my apartment. That photo is probably the cutest thing I’ve seen all day(don’t tell Archie or Nari I said that). Arch says to tell you to take good care of them. We want to know all their names. 

Best, 

Your Hisirdoux 

p.s. You are also of British origin last I knew...

* * *

**To:** douxiec1110@hmail.com

 **From:** zbrwitch@hmail.com

 **Re:** idk u told me to email u 11:32 PM PDT

ok boomer

pRoPeR gRaMmEr AnD PuNcUAtIoN 

ps why are you up so late please go to bed

* * *

**To:** zbrwitch@hmail.com

 **From:** douxiec1110@hmail.com

 **Re:** idk u told me to email u 2:34 AM EDT

I will turn this into a Skype call, so help me. 

* * *

**To:** douxiec1110@hmail.com

 **From:** zbrwitch@hmail.com

 **Re:** idk u told me to email u 11:36 PM PDT

do it u wont 

* * *

**Notification from Skype:** DouxieC is calling…

* * *

“Seriously? ‘Ok boomer’ is the best you can come up with? Need I remind you you’re a bit older than I am? And long time no see.” 

“Gimme a break, it’s late. What in the hell are you doing up anyways?”

“The city never sleeps.” 

“You’re a human wizard, not a city, and you require rest.” 

“Yeah, well. I’ve been a bit busy and stressed for that lately.” 

“Tell me about it. Between the political climate and all I barely sleep either. Been keeping up with your appointments?” 

“Yes, I'm trying. My therapist threatened to shoot me with a Nerf gun every time I said bad things about myself.” 

“Ha! Sounds like it could be pretty effective though.” 

“Don’t you dare get any ideas.” 

“I’m trying not to. Oh, also, you wanted to know all of the cats’ names, right?” 

“Well of course I do.”

“I haven’t named them all yet, you’ll need to help me.” 

“Ooh, this sounds fun.” 

“So this one, down in the bottom here is Toro, he’s a big beefy one so I thought “bull,” right? On the left is Pancake, she just looks like one so yeah. And her sister beside her is Syrup. The other four don’t have names yet.” 

“Hmm. That tabby in the back really looks like a Monet to me.”

“Really? Here I am naming them after food and you just have to one-up me and go for famous painters. Of course.” 

“Naturally. And in the center, call that one Tesla.” 

“Uh huh. Okay. Two more. I’m thinking this white one should just be Snowball.” 

“Classic. And the last one, upper middle? Call that one Fax Machine.” 

“Douxie.” 

“Yes, Zo?” 

“Are you okay? Are you all there? Hell, when was the last time you slept? Stop giggling!” 

“It was this meme I saw some years ago-”

“Dude, go to sleep already. This obviously isn’t healthy.”

“But I’m talking to you.” 

“We can do this a different day.” 

“What if I want to do this now?” 

“You donkey-headed mule, you think you can win an argument of stubbornness with me?” 

“ ’Course I do. I am, after all, the worst at listening to directions.” 

“According to who?”

“Uh, you?”

“I _never_ said that! Wait! Is that Archie?”

“Yeah. C’mere Arch. Gah, you’re heavy.” 

“Why hello, Zoe. Fancy talking to you this late.” 

“I know. Make this kid rest, would you?” 

“‘Kid’ alright. In a month I’ll be nine hundred and twenty, thank you very much.” 

“Seriously though. Both of us need sleep, I am sure.” 

“Yeah. You’re probably right.” 

“So?” 

“I miss you, Zo.” 

“I miss you too, Doux.” 

“I’m not hanging up.” 

“What? Nonononono you are not making me do it. Do you know how guilty that makes me feel?” 

“Well, in fact, I do know.” 

“I hate you.” 

“No, you don’t.” 

“Gah. I’m doing this for your mental and physical health. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. Goodnight.” 

“Goodnight, Zoe. Sweet dreams.” 

“Rest well.” 

* * *

**Notification from Skype:** Call ended with Zoe273.

* * *

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've written/edited a TON of "incorrect-quotes" for Wizards characters and I'm thinking I'll make a sideblog for them, and some of the memes I've created and I've been recommended to do something with them other than just send them to my sisters, so if that gets done, you'll see an edited note here or in the notes of the next chapter.


	7. Awake My Soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nari is still getting used to living somewhere full of humans, struggling to understand just how human emotion and expression works and exists. She might experience the emotions of others, but Bellroc and Skrael never expressed these things or amounts of anything in her time with them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is more or less a filler chapter to pace myself out a little bit, and who doesn't want to explore Nari as a character? I feel like she has so much unknown potential and her dynamic with actually good people seriously needs to be expanded on.

Nari has never spent so much time around anyone who experiences as many emotions as Douxie does. Skrael and Bellroc were usually quite numb and void of emotion, the occasional amusement and frequent anger or frustration being all she could get from them. The rest of emotion she felt often came from the world around her. 

Pain is a prevalent emotion in modern society. People feel it all the time, no matter where or when it is. Nari has become numb to pain. It followed wherever the Order went. When she was with the Order, she never really was exposed to or close enough to many humans to feel how precise and different emotions they experience. And Merlin was very closed off and limited with his expressions, so she gained little from him except in the brief times he felt fear or loss. 

Nari did not expect love to have so many different interpretations or feelings. Merlin had a love for Douxie that was rough around the edges but true. Archie and Douxie love each other on a primal level, a love between companions, a love like waterfalls and streambeds, like shadows and the sun. Jim and Claire love each other with desperation and strength and determination. But the love between Zoe and Douxie was not one that she could put a finger on. Perhaps it was just that their love is so old. They have a love that she couldn’t describe if she wanted to. Their love is making each other tea, and singing together in the mornings, sharing clothes, treating each other’s wounds, knowing what a single look meant. Nari couldn’t begin to understand the depth of their love, and she hadn’t enough time to analyze it all. 

And love was different from both ends of the scale, too. Douxie loved Merlin like a father, like a role model. Merlin had loved Douxie like a son, but also how one loves an endearing child who is so fascinated by the world they have missed the things causing them pain. Archie loves Douxie like a younger brother that he would always, perhaps at times reluctantly, come to the rescue of. Douxie loves Archie like a best friend, like a playful sibling he looked up to and revered quietly. Zoe loves Douxie like the tide loves the shore. Strong, stubborn, and steadfast love. Douxie loves Zoe like she’s a celestial body that he could wax poetic about, loves her like the rose loves the hand that does not pick it’s flower but just enjoys it. Douxie loves a great many people and things, Nari thinks. He loves every life that he can bring himself to spare, a rare quality in a human. 

Emotions are a very tricky thing. Douxie feels anxiety all hours of the day and night, tossing and turning in his sleep and worrying and trembling in the day. He also feels sad and muted at times, making Nari also feel dullened. She tries not to let others' emotions get to her, but it’s difficult when she’s constantly surrounded by them. The city is full of pain, all the time, and it does not help that her companions also feel pain for those around them. It is a rare human quality that they should care so much for others and not themselves. 

There are people dying in the very rooms around them, there are people giving birth and new lives screaming out in terror at this world they do not understand, there are people who are hurting deep inside, people whose bodies are always hurting, people who hurt because others hurt them. Pain is also a very complicated thing. In some ways, pain and anger go hand in hand to Nari. Those in pain were often angry. They were upset, they blamed others, they lashed out. But they were often neglecting of themselves. Tired. Sad. Angry with the world for what it did to them. Or angry at themselves for not being able to solve the problem. 

All these emotions are overwhelming to Nari. Humans felt a great many things, all the time, and it never ended. And when they died, a whole new host of emotions cropped up in the hearts of others. It confuses her that emotions are sometimes regulated because the humans themselves cannot control them. Douxie explained this to her when she asked one day why he was taking the strange oval tablets in the mornings and nights. 

He hesitated to tell her it was because he often felt very sad. More than sad, he felt depressed. Even at times, he felt like he didn’t want to exist. Nari has felt that herself, but on a very mild level. She wishes that she did not exist so there would be much less conflict surrounding her and her friends. He also took other tablets because he worried so much. He said anxiety, but Nari could only understand worry. Anxiety to her is a strange, unknown concept. She believes she lacks the ability to feel true anxiety. She is just wired to be calm and collected. 

So when Nari had seen the odd scars on Douxie’s wrists for the first time, she had naturally asked him what creature had caused it. And she was still very confused by his answer. She could not imagine wanting to cause herself pain. Why would she do that, when she felt so much already? Wasn’t it enough? It makes Nari sad to think that he felt so badly about himself that the only way he could feel better was to hurt more. Nari wishes she could do more about these terrible human inflictions like depression and anxiety, but it doesn’t seem to be something possible to cure. Sure, she had the ability to revive the dead when she was with the rest of the Order, and even now, separated, with reduced powers, she had basic healing abilities. But soothing a burn was not the same as altering chemicals in the brain. 

Nari is glad that she has a very neutral inner set of emotions, but sometimes she wishes she could feel her own emotions, rather than those around her. Nari has just begun to realize that Archie and Douxie and Zoe even(in a strange sympathetic way) all love her, too, but she does not understand their love for her yet. She does not think it makes sense. They have no reasons to love her; she’s a burden to their already burdensome lives. 

Nari has never been loved before. Merlin cared for her, sure, but it was not really love. It was just necessary protection. Merlin loved next to no one. Nari had gotten the sense he had loved once, but it had ended in pain and despair. Skrael and Bellroc do not love Nari. They do not love anyone or anything. They do not experience emotions to the extent that even a basic human does. And certainly not to the extent that Nari does. So she doesn’t understand why there is a peculiar fondness that radiates from the familiar whenever he is around her. And she doesn’t understand why Douxie has a sense of love for her either. She has made him hurt, albeit indirectly. 

She wishes humans could be more like plants. They had incomplex lives, only worrying about growing and water and sunlight. They relax her on the days that the city’s pain is too much. Today is a day full of pain, especially in this city. She does not understand it, but years ago, a disaster happened across the city, and the lives of many were claimed that day. There were a great number of people grieving. Nari does not understand why these humans are still grieving these lives nearly twenty years later. Not when there are so many lives lost each day and night that should deserve to be grieved as well. She doesn’t understand why these people are so proud, either. Because instead of taking their pain and turning it into a force to be used for good, they ended up using it to hate others for where they came from and what they believed. 

Humans are so complicated and confusing that Nari sometimes can agree that Skrael and Bellroc were right in thinking they should start the world anew. But the two of them only want to start anew because of the imbalance of magic, not because humanity seems as if it is devolving. And yet, the only thing that keeps Nari from actually believing that is that Douxie and the guardians of Arcadia have given her some hope for the future. She can see that they are the forces that could change the world, that could make things better once again. 

Nari settles into a patch of dim sunlight, doing her best to absorb it. Here, she cannot feel forests, but at the same time, she wishes to feel all the souls around her. She engages her power, reaching out with her ‘roots’ across the city, feeling an overwhelming number of people. But she presses beyond that, reaching out to Arcadia. She glances on Jim’s soul, Claire’s, Toby’s. They feel solid and happy. This pleases Nari. She reaches out to Zoe’s soul, which is harder to find, oddly. Hers is conflicted, a little sad. She taps further, finding that Zoe is displaying many similar things that Douxie does. Not really the same sadness, but there is something else...it is an ache. 

Nari lets her roots return back to her and drops the connections. She ponders this. Why does Zoe ache? And why does it feel just like Douxie’s ache? Is this another part of love? Because if it is, Nari is not sure she wants to experience it. She settles back with her plants in the sunlight and focuses on meditating. She would tell Douxie, if not that she felt these private things were too personal to share unless the person she’d tapped into said she could. And that is fine. 

She has plenty of souls right here in the city to think about when she wants to. Lately, Nari has also been picking up traces of unfamiliar magic. It’s not hostile magic, but it is defensive and secretive. It’s somewhat nearby, but then again, everything in the city is nearby. She can only guess just how many magic-users there are in this one neighborhood. She suspects there are many more than she thinks there are. 

The apartment door clicks open and Douxie enters, a box in his arms and grocery bags hanging from his arms. Nari is shaken from her thoughts and she turns, curious as to what he has. 

“Ello and good afternoon, Nari,” he says, his accent amusingly distinct. He sets the box on the counter with a heave. Too high for Nari to see into. “How’s the day been?”

“It has been ‘a day’ as you humans say, I think.” 

“Usually that’s not a good implication. Was it good, bad, anything happen?” Douxie sets the grocery bags down on the floor, pulling out the contents to be put in the fridge. Nari grabs a carton of eggs, scrunching her nose up. She does not eat animal products, with the exception of dairy. That, she understands, does not harm the animals or have anything to do with the physical makeup of an animal. She does not know where to stand on eggs. 

“Nothing happened. It was a usual day. Uneventful.” Nari places things in a cupboard, organizing them by the colorful labels on the cans. Douxie reaches a hand out, as if to stop her, but he sighs and smiles. 

“That’s too bad. Ever wish things were more busy?” He rises and sets the kettle on the stove. From the box he produces a large pot with a cord attached to it, a clear glass dome sitting over the top. Nari has no idea what it could possibly be for, but that doesn't matter. It seems to be food related. 

“Sometimes. But there are plenty of things to think about. It’s been too busy for some time now.”

Douxie nods. “That I can agree with. I think we could use a vacation, eventually. The modern world isn’t cut out for us ancients. I would say it’s time for you to take up some hobbies.” 

“What is a ‘hobby’ that you speak of?” Nari asks, tracing the texture of the fridge with a clawed finger. 

“Well, you know, like how I play the guitar and write music. Some people create art, some people write stories, some people sew things, or they learn a new language, or something like that. It’s doing something to keep yourself busy and usually, it makes you happy. Maybe you could try some things. Raising and caring for plants is one of your hobbies,” he comments, gesturing to her shelves of them. 

“I see now. Is Archie’s hobby napping?” 

Douxie bursts out laughing, doubling over. He straightens and wipes at his eyes, the laughter dwindling. Nari briefly thinks it’s sad to hear his laughter stop. “You could put it that way, sure.” 

Nari does not understand human humor very well yet. Maybe her hobby will be to learn about humans and get around to understanding them better. Besides, if she’s to pass as one, she will need to understand them. 

“Could we view one of those comedy films again?” She points towards the TV. Douxie nods. 

“I don’t see why not. I only have older ones, but they’re classics.” Douxie joins her, slipping a DVD into the player and picking up the remote. Words flash over the screen, Nari only catching what appears to be ‘Holy Grail.’ “I’m also British, so excuse me if the sense of humor isn’t quite American, or if it’s just bizarre in general.” 

Nari studies his smile and tries to copy it on her own face, feeling the muscles pull. She does not use them very often, but she has decided she would like to. She settles onto the couch feeling a sort of strange feeling for Douxie. It resembles that feeling that Archie has for him. A content and happy feeling. She cares for him. 

Maybe learning to be a human would not be so bad. Maybe love isn’t so bad.


	8. Did You Know

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A visitor appears at Douxie's door at 4AM. 
> 
> (You'll need to read it to find out what happens because I just don't feel like spoiling it.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this one has been sitting, finished for a couple of weeks now and I've literally edited this thing sooooo many times and I keep holding off on posting it, telling myself I need to write more perspectives, put some more stuff in between, but I realize now I do not have the patience for that whatsoever. Anyways, here's my absolute favorite chapter I've written for this fic so far and possibly one of the longest chapters you are gonna get at just shy of 10k words (bleeding balroths thats a lot) (just be glad I didn't decide to break it into two installments...because I almost did that just to torture your poor souls /jk).
> 
> Also, is this a songfic by now??? Lol. I highly recommend listening to "Did You Know" by Don McLean when the song comes up in the fic, just to set the mood a little.

A knock comes at the door. Douxie jumps awake, fights his sheets, and shouts, “Coming!” He’s tripped by the blankets and falls, grumbling and kicking them off his feet. “Ah, fuzzbuckets.” He manages to get himself up and opens the door with a wave of magic, stumbling down the hallway. The knock comes again, harsher. 

“By Merlin’s beard! I’m coming!” he responds, exasperated. _I paid the rent, and the bills, and everything else, right? This had better not be some campaigner…_ He quickly undoes the many wards on the door, slides the lock, and cracks it open, keeping his shirtless and scarred frame behind the door. No need to terrify the poor bloke. “Look, if you’re here to tell me to vote for some blasted candidate running for city council, I don’t want to hear it. I’m not even registered to vote here yet, I’ve not been living here long enough. I care about politics, I really do, but legally I can’t do anything and it would be just swell if you could write this down somewhere. Thank you, and have a good morning.” 

Douxie shuts the door and leans back against the wall. He checks the clock on the stove. _Four in the morning? These people are relentless._

A soft rap comes again on the door. “Gah!” He drags his hands down his face. 

He yanks the door open in earnest this time, prepared to smite down whoever this persistent and annoying early bird is. “Please leave me alone-” he starts, but never finishes.

There, standing just outside his apartment’s door, is a short, pink-haired woman, with amusement and exhaustion on her face. 

He sighs. “Ah. I’m dreaming. No wonder. Gods, I am a mess.” He closes his eyes and slumps into the doorframe. “Of course. You can wake up now,” he tells himself. 

But nothing changes. He feels the ridges of the doorframe pushing into his spine, the chill air from the hallway on his bare skin. And a barely detectable trace of someone else’s magic tugs at his consciousness. He opens his eyes and looks at her again. Zoe studies him in return, face soft. 

A black leather jacket that looks suspiciously like one of his own hangs off her shoulders, a blue scarf wrapped around her neck, bracelets stacked on her wrists and rings decorating her fingers, ripped jeans and platform combat boots completing her look. Her magic practically wafts off her when he reaches out to properly sense it with his mind, and there’s no way it isn’t her.

Douxie can’t find the words at all. He doesn’t even realize as the hot tears start to fall on his cheeks, vision blurring. He takes her hand and pulls her into the apartment, closing the door behind him. He pulls her into a hug and cries quietly as she holds him. 

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” she murmurs, stroking his hair. He takes shuddering, deep breaths, her herbal scent so wonderfully familiar. They stay wrapped in each other’s embrace for several long moments. 

“I missed you,” he says, leaning back, holding her hands in his, just admiring her. It’s been a month and a half, and sure, they’d video-called and messaged, but this is so much better. Not to mention, he’s been tearing himself apart wondering if he’d done the right thing and if she’d ever forgive him for leaving her again. He’s glad she rarely listened to him. 

“I missed you too, Douxie. Sorry for getting here so early.” Her eyes are wet too, now. She reaches up and brushes his messy locks out of his face. Her hand lingers on his cheek, fingers twining in his hair. He leans into her palm. 

“It’s fine. You’re here and I couldn’t care less about anything else.” 

“Well, up until you realized, it seemed like I woke you up a bit too early for your liking,” she laughs, taking in his still-sleepy eyes. He pushes his palms into his eye sockets a little too hard, seeing stars for a moment. 

“You did. Just a bit. If I’d known, I would have gotten dressed,” he says, gesturing to his sweatpants and socks. But he knows neither of them care. He glances around him. “And cleaned the apartment. Wait, how long have you been up?” 

She stifles a yawn. “Too long, that’s for sure.” 

“Well, you just so happened to pick my one day off. Means I can sleep in.” 

“You mean you need to sleep in,” she reprimands. 

“Ah...ha ha. Yeah. It does. Does it look like I’ve been sleeping?” Douxie tries his best to form a put-together face, knowing he can’t pull it off at all. Zoe gives him a crooked smile.

“Sorry, but no. It looks like someone hasn’t been taking his insomnia medication.” But Zoe’s look is forgiving. Douxie glances, away, guilt crossing his face. 

“I’ll work on that.” He lets go of her, almost hesitantly, moving to the kitchenette and getting a glass of water. “You need anything?” 

“Maybe just some water. And then some sleep,” she says, joining him. “I was on a train for just a bit more than three days to get here. Cheaper than flying and better than having to sleep on a bus, but still, not exactly my idea of rest.”

“I don’t blame you.” She sips quietly, leaning against the counter with him, shoulders touching. “So how’d you make this all work? And sorry if I seem unenthused, I swear I’m elated, I’m just so exhausted-”

“Douxie, it’s fine,” she insists, putting her head on his shoulder. “And well, I closed Zimoc’s indefinitely, and took at a minimum two weeks off from Hex Tech-”

“Two weeks? Two weeks!” Douxie nearly spits out his water. He gestures wildly. “And the record store! That’s your job! You have a life, and- and jobs, and school in some months, you can’t just drop everything to come out here!”

“I already did, didn’t I? And if you just have to scold me, do it later. I can’t properly argue with you like this, it’s too early.” She kicks off her shoes, becoming a solid couple inches shorter. She yawns heavily. 

“Fine, fine. So, options for sleeping are either the couch, or my bed, where you may have to fight Archie for space, whatever you want is fine. Nari sleeps on one side of my room, I made her a spell that sound proofs that space for her.” Douxie stops himself. “I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

“You are, and you know I’m going wherever you are,” she says. Zoe just grins at him. He could watch her be happy all day long. “You do remember it’s been like this for centuries, you know.”

“Right, yeah. I mean, if that’s what you want. I’m so tired,” he apologizes. He slips his hand into hers and guides them down the hallway to his room. “I still can’t believe you’re here.”

“Uh huh.” She looks so relaxed, Douxie thinks, relief washing over him. He’s been so worried that she would be cold and distant and not interested and yet here she is. 

He picks up the blankets sprawled on the floor that he’d tripped on earlier and throws them back on his bed. Archie is currently curled around a sleeping Nari in the corner, a slight snore-purr emanating from him. Zoe sets down her things next to his nightstand, slipping off her coat and scarf. 

“Bathroom is across the hall,” he says, opening his dresser and returning to the bed to fix the pillows. “And before you ask, whatever is in that drawer is free game.” 

“Why thank you. You know me so well,” she laughs, selecting a few of his things and taking them with her. His heart flutters, all those feelings swelling again. He’d missed her far more than he could have imagined. 

Douxie tugs on a shirt and perches on the edge of his bed, letting himself breathe for a moment. She’s really here with him. 

Zoe returns, a large blue tee hanging off her shoulders and a pair of floral-print pants that must be hers, because Douxie doesn’t remember seeing them before. 

“Stop looking at me like that,” she says, blushing furiously. He bites his lip and pretends to look off into the corner of the room, knowing that he’s probably blushing just as hard. 

“Apologies, m’lady, but I can’t help it,” he says, shrugging. “You just happen to look quite bewitching no matter what.”

Zoe punches his shoulder playfully, sitting next to him. “Someone is wearing his heart on his sleeve a little today, isn’t he? Though, when have you not?”

“Fair enough. I’m also extremely exhausted. But yes, I just express my emotions in a healthy and communicative way. Some people could learn from it,” he says, smiling at her. He leans forward and brushes a strand of pink hair behind her ear. “I’d better stop before I get even more sappy, huh?”

“Before you melt into a puddle of sap, you mean,” she giggles, eyes shining. Her laughter soothes him.

“The horror.” Douxie shifts the blanket and crawls under it, making space for Zoe to join him. She draws the blanket up to her neck, turning to face him. “Thank you, Zoe, really. It means the world to me that you came all this way.” 

“Don’t mention it,” she says, eyes already looking like they were growing heavy. “But you can do me a favor.”

“Whatever you want,” he says, and then pauses. “Well, within reason.”

She pulls herself into his chest, looking up at him. He cranes his neck to meet her brilliantly blue eyes. “Years ago you promised you wouldn’t, but still. Don’t ever leave me behind again.”

“Darling, I wouldn’t dare,” he whispers. She closes her eyes briefly, like a cat, face lighting up. And he means it. “No more false promises.” 

“Good.” Their noses touch now and Douxie touches his forehead to hers. She kisses his cheek before turning and curling into his side, her back to him. He’s sure she can feel his heart beating hard in his chest. “Goodnight, or whatever it is by now.” They laugh together, a resonating sound in their chests. 

“Goodnight.” Douxie slips an arm over her, drawing the blankets up. He falls quickly into the most peaceful sleep he’s had in a very long time. 

****************************

Douxie wakes to the sun streaming into his room, the blankets half pulled away from him, and one arm tingling and numb. He gently shifts Zoe off his arm and moves away just a little, trying to figure out how to steal the blankets back without disturbing her. 

In her sleep, she mumbles something unintelligible, reaching out behind her with a hand and scooting back against Douxie’s chest. He sighs, taking her hand and pulling the blankets away from her just enough, repositioning so she’s still curled against him. He doesn’t think he’ll be able to fall asleep again, but he can tell Zoe won’t let him go anywhere for a bit longer. Neither Nari nor Archie are asleep in their little pile of blankets and pillows anymore. 

Typically, this might have concerned Douxie, as they often slept in much later than he did, but he guesses Archie had seen him and Zoe and decided it was best to let the two sleep. He’s sure they’re fine. He senses Nari’s magic nearby, probably in the living room. He feels a sort of strange calmness now, like his anxiety has just sloughed off for the time being. And he’s perfectly content to lie here. 

Zoe’s hair lies around her face like a halo, her shoulder tattoo almost glowing in the light. Perhaps it does, he thinks, recalling how their tattooes glow with magic use. They’d found out years ago that magic use in dreams could have very real life results. Zoe had refused to share a bed with him for quite some time after a particular incident where he summoned a wave in his dream and ended up soaking the two of them with the washing basin’s water as they slept. He slept on the floor of the little inn room for the remainder of their stay. He remembers it clearly and with amusement. 

Her light smattering of freckles highlight her peaceful face. The lightning scar trails across her shoulder and the nape of her neck and he recalls seeing it for the first time, absolutely awed. And she still awes him, between her knowledge of magic, her bravery, her trust and compassion and her teasing and hardiness. She’s always been his confidant, the one he shared inside jokes with, who he could laugh and tease and play with. She’s taught him a million things and he has only ever been able to envision his life with her in the picture somewhere, ever since the start. 

And there are things he wants to tell her that he’s not sure he can put into words. 

He puts his arm around her and closes his eyes, trying to savor the moments. He’ll never know when they’ll be the last ones. 

**************************

“Hey. Wake up.” Zoe shifts and nudges him with her elbow. 

“I’m already awake,” Douxie responds, his lips moving against Zoe’s neck. He’s half tempted to kiss her, but he’s still playing it safe. Might as well, for now, though the temptation grows. Besides, groggy Zoe wasn’t someone to mess with.

“Then why aren’t you up? Like out of bed?” She rolls over, facing him, holding the blankets tight. “It’s also freezing in here.”

“Because you’re here. And I did try. You wouldn’t let me,” he says, smirking. 

She blushes. “Oh, sure. Well, you said it’s your day off, right?” They glance over at the clock on the nightstand, where it displays 10:02am in bright red numerals. 

“Yeah. Six or so extra hours of sleep isn’t half bad, huh?” He sits up, stretching. “I actually feel decently rested for once.”

Zoe doesn’t move from under the blankets, but she does smile up at him. “It’s because you don’t sleep in general.” 

“Shush.” Douxie rubs his eyes, a slightly pained sound escaping him as he sits up, swinging his legs off his side of the bed. 

“How’re you looking?” Zoe asks, a bit concerned. 

“Well,” he says, grinning and looking over his shoulder, “I think I look rather dashing, personally.”

Zoe’s face goes bright red and she pulls the blanket over her head. “I hate you, Casperan.”

“No, you don’t,” he says, sweetly. “But honestly, I think it’s okay? You did a good job.” He pulls the shirt off, still feeling sensitive as the fabric touches the healing wounds. Zoe pulls herself up and runs a couple of fingers over his back. He sucks in a breath, feeling both ticklish and chilled by her cold hands. 

“It’s not bad. Could be better, but if any of these are magical wounds, then they’re obviously not going to heal as well.” She runs her fingers over his side and he shivers. 

“Stop that!” he hisses, laughing and pushing her hands away. She smiles coyly. 

“Fine,” she says, resting a hand on his arm and tracing a couple small, older scars and the lines of his tattoos. “Where are you going?” 

“I’m finally getting up,” he says, chuckling lightly. His eyes track her fingers, suddenly entranced by the movement. The runes inked on his skin pulse with her touch, responding to her magic. It always amuses him that they do that. To his knowledge, they only react to his own use of magic and hers when she touches them. 

“Ah. Someone needs his Earl Grey.”

“Indeed. Coming with me?” He stands, feeling almost sad as her fingers drop away. He finds a different top in his dresser and throws it on.

“I don’t know. It’s so nice here,” she says, wrapping the blankets around her. Her messy hair is all he can see of her above the blanket. 

Douxie shakes his head. “What, will I have to carry you?”

“No,” she says, firmly. “But I’m staying here.”

“Uh huh. I’ll be putting the kettle on.” He starts to leave, picking up a sweatshirt and pulling it on. Everything felt a lot colder without her warmth. 

“Don’t go,” she begs, trying and failing to make a sad face at him, reaching a hand out. 

“I’ll be back. You’ll be fine.” When she responds with another pout, he takes her hand and kisses her knuckles quickly. Douxie smiles, turning and leaving. 

In the kitchen, he starts the stovetop and fills the kettle, places it on the burner. He pulls down his tea, the Earl Grey, English Breakfast, all the classic British teas, and eventually finds a couple green teas that Zoe tends to drink when she’s over. She prefers chai, he recalls, but he doesn’t have any at the moment. He makes a note to remedy that quickly. 

Douxie walks to the couch and runs his hands over Archie’s coat, glancing at the TV that Nari is so encaptured with. “What’re you watching?”

“Some strange show with witches and this rather amusing cat named Salem. It’s clearly a puppet, but still, he’s a character, with a wonderful sense of humor,” Archie says, looking intrigued. “So I saw we have a guest.”

“Yeah, she showed up at the door at four in the morning and I thought I was dreaming.” 

The cat in the show says something snarky and Nari laughs. Douxie is glad to see that she’s understanding some of the strange human things, even if it’s just bizarre fiction. 

“You must be glad to have her back,” Archie says, meeting his wizard’s eyes. Douxie nods. “Where is she, anyways?”

“Still in bed. She spent three days getting here by train. Do me a favor and don’t bother her about tuna.” He remembers their train hopping days wistfully, feeling like they were straight out of some Great Classic novel. Which, in a way, they basically were. 

“Some dedication, huh?” Archie says, smiling. His yellow eyes say _I told you so._

“Yeah, yeah. ‘You’re right and I should have listened to you,’” Douxie imitates his familiar. Archie makes a contented sound, attention returning to the show. The kettle begins to whistle and Douxie dashes back to the kitchen, taking it off the heat. He pours himself a cup and places the metal steeping cup in the mug. He’s always preferred loose-leaf tea, something about the process and art of it. 

He sets it aside to cool and makes his way back to the bedroom, where he finds that Zoe has dressed, if he can call it that. She’s just wearing more of his clothes, including one of his overly large sweatshirts. Her hands are lost in the sleeves and she subconsciously flaps the ends around. It makes Douxie feel all soft and melty inside. 

“I’m never getting back any of that, am I?” He puts his hand on his forehead. “You have no idea how much in clothes I’ve lost to you over the centuries.”

Zoe sticks her tongue out at him. “I actually do know, because I even still have that first jacket you gave me. So there.”

“Huh. Does it still work?” He starts picking up the room a little here and there, but it’s just a rouse to disguise his blush. _All these years, she’d kept it?_

“Um, it’s a jacket, and it’s still pretty intact so yes?” She gives him a weird look. 

“I meant the enchantment.”

“What enchantment?” 

“It was enchanted to keep the wearer warm, I found it when I was living on the streets before I got to Camelot and I learned that it was enchanted when Merlin found it in his workshop one day.” Douxie shrugs, returning to her. “Not that I particularly cared for it, I’m sure it’s served you well.”

“In that case, I suppose it still works. Your things are nice,” she comments. 

“I wouldn’t know,” he says, voice dripping with sarcasm. “I made tea, there’s jasmine if you want it.”

“Hmm. But I know that as soon as I go out there Archie is going to pester me for tuna-”

“Oh, c’mon,” Douxie urges. “I’ll fight him off.”

“Make me, oh knight-in-shining-armor.” She crosses her arms. _Gods, she’s so cute when she’s smug like that._

“Alright then, if you insist.” He grins and slips an arm under her arms and the other under her knees, lifting her with surprising ease. 

Zoe yelps, throwing her arms around his neck. “Hey! No! You’ll hurt yourself.” She struggles a little, but it’s clear that he’s not going to put her down. 

“You’re fine. I’ve got you.” He carries her with simple confidence, out into the main room of the apartment. Archie casts them a funny look, but seems to dismiss it quickly. He gently sets her down, steadying her. She shoves at his chest with a fake scowl. 

“I forget how insufferable you are,” she mutters, but her eyes are smiling. 

Douxie shakes his head, getting his tea and adding just a little sugar. Zoe struggles to reach the shelf where he keeps the tea, so he turns and takes it down for her. 

“I had it,” she says, but it’s just habit more than anything at this point. 

“I missed this,” he comments, pointedly meeting her eyes. “Like our good old days.”

For a second, it looks like Zoe is about to take fake offense to this just to be dramatic, but she nods instead. “Yeah, our good old days. Except you’re now responsible for the fate of the world.” 

“Don’t remind me.” Anxiety and bile rise in his throat. “And we have bills to pay on top of it all.”

Archie jumps down from the arm of the couch and pads across the room, weaving around Zoe’s feet. “It’s nice to see you again. You didn’t happen to bring me anything, did you?” 

“I always come prepared,” she responds, rolling her eyes. “Be right back.”

Archie’s eyes shine. “Oh, don’t look at me like that. She spoils you. I can’t afford to.” Douxie looks away pointedly. 

Zoe returns with a can of tuna in one hand and a candy bag in the other. She places the candy in Douxie’s hands. He lights up on seeing the Twizzlers. Why he doesn’t remember to buy them for himself more often is a mystery. “I don’t know why I do so much for you guys, instead of the proper worship I deserve I get my work burned to the ground and get abandoned on the other side of the country.” 

She pops the tab on the tuna can and plates it for Archie. A ritual Douxie had seen hundreds of times. After so many centuries alive, he had begun to take a special fondness to the routines and rituals of their lives. The things that were constants, that they repeated over and over again. It was comforting to know that some things would always stay the same. 

“Hisirdoux! What is this show? I see these strange devices and wish to know what the human words say.” Nari waves him over, her nose nearly touching the screen. 

“Hey hey hey, get back a little bit, can’t have you hurting your eyes, now can we? And it’s just Douxie.” He repositions the little forest goddess a foot back and reads the title. “Oh, that’s reruns of ‘How it’s Made,’ used to be super popular. Tells you how different human objects are created. You’re watching the one on jellybeans right now.” 

“Interesting. What is a jelly bean?” 

Zoe laughs from the kitchen. “It’s just a candy made of pure sugar.” 

“What is candy?” 

“Have you neglected to educate her on the ways of human life?” Zoe asks him. She takes a Twizzler from the opened pack and hands it to her. The dryad copies Douxie as he eats it in small bites. Nari makes a slightly confused face, and then a pleased one only moments later. 

“Well, I’m working on it, I don’t have a lot of free time anymore between the jobs and all…”

“Say no more, I’ll teach her,” Zoe says, dimples forming. He would look at her smile all day if he could. 

“If you want, then sure. Helps us out a little bit.” 

Douxie begins to get an odd nagging feeling in his mind, anxiety starting to wash over him. _Not this again._ He puts a hand on the wall to steady himself. 

“Are you alright?” Archie asks, looking up at him. He leaps onto the counter and sniffs him. “You look pale.” 

“I’ll be okay. Actually, c’mere,” Douxie says, scooping his familiar into his arms. He brings him to the couch and sets him in his lap, stroking his fur and trying his best to calm down. Zoe sits on the floor beside Nari, confident that Archie has things under control. It’s not the first time he’s had an anxiety attack. After a short while, Douxie can breathe again, his mind not so haywire. He’s grateful for the shapeshifter on a daily basis. Douxie finishes his tea, resolving to do better by himself. 

“I think you need some distractions today,” Zoe says, leaning against his legs. 

“You’re probably right. I wouldn’t mind that. A little relief from everything.” Part of him just wants to sleep forever again. After all, he’s had far too much excitement for his many lifetimes. 

“So what do you want to do?” 

“Nothing. I’d say sleep, but I haven’t felt this good since the last time I had a sleep spell put on me. I don’t know.” He ponders her question for a moment, realizing he’s thinking more about what Zoe would want than what he would. 

She’d want to check out all the antique stores and fawn over relics of their pasts, go to the large vinyl shops and flip through the sleeves, she’d want to explore the city and chase taxis and spray paint and climb flights of stairs in skyscrapers. But ultimately he understands that she probably wants to do whatever he wants. 

“I’m sure you can think of something.” Zoe hops up beside him, throwing her legs over his and stretching out on the couch. “There’s museums and gardens and music and food. I missed cities. There’s so much adventure to be had.” 

“I’ve had a lot of adventure lately, need I remind you. Maybe we go simple.” Douxie side-eyes her as she prods him with her foot. 

“Whatever you want. And I want you to choose. I’ve been making the choices for hundreds of years.” 

“I hate to say you’re right about that one.” Douxie’s indecisive nature often got the best of him, leaving him stuck between what others would want and what he wanted. Usually others won over unless Archie or Zoe were keen enough to pick up on it. “Well, it is lunchtime. And I haven’t even tried anything worthwhile since getting here.” 

“Perfect. We’ll start with that,” Zoe says, feet working behind Douxie and beginning to nudge him off the couch. He raises his eyebrows, nothing further needed. He keeps his weight planted on the couch, grinning. 

“You don’t let me have any fun,” she crows, throwing her arms out. He opens his mouth to protest but decides better of it, turning to look out the window. 

It really is a nice day. It’s just cool enough for sweatshirts, and not too warm they’d be uncomfortable in the sun. The sky is clear and there appears to be a light breeze. He couldn’t have picked a better one to share with Zoe. 

“I wish to join you,” Nari pipes up. “We do not get out often.” 

“Of course, all of us. So long as that’s fine by Zoe,” Douxie adds. 

“I don’t see why not. C’mon,” Zoe rises, taking Nari’s hand. “Let’s get you dressed. I think it’s time I taught you about makeup.” 

“If you’re painting nails, let me join,” comes the wizard, waving his bare nails. “It’s been too long since I’ve had anything fun.”

Zoe sighs but smiles. “I would have thought you’d have learned how to paint your own nails by now.” 

“Oh, you know how hard the right hand is.” 

“Fair point; I concede.” And soon enough the bathroom is a mess of makeup and nail polish across the counter, with Archie supervising from just out of arm's reach. 

****************

“We all ready to go?” Zoe asks, surveying the group. 

Nari nods excitedly, her green sweater complimented by some pink makeup and ombré nails that Zoe had managed to pull off with a little bit of magic. Her horns are disguised like they’re part of some hat, and for today she wears some dark sunglasses. If anything, the older-than-time goddess looks like a child playing dress-up, in an inconspicuous way. 

Archie perches on Douxie’s shoulders, causing his leather jacket to slip some. It was a sort of special-occasion piece of clothing, but he supposed this counted and Zoe had all but begged he wore anything but that ratty old sweatshirt. It was overdue for either replacement or repair, unfortunately. He admires his nail polish, all black, as is classic for him. 

“We’ll buy some hair dye while we’re out,” Zoe says, eyeing his fading color. “Still won’t try anything new, huh Arch?”

“A thousand years of my beautiful coat. I don’t think I need anything to change its perfection.” The familiar struts to the door and waits patiently for them. 

Douxie studies Zoe’s choice of outfit for today, surprised that it kind of betrays her usual style. She still wears a pair of black studs in her ears, a black-purple lipstick, but aside from that and her boots, she’s taken a more colorful approach. She wears that bright blue scarf, the color of his magic, he thinks, and a softer blue sweater that shows her shoulders. He smiles at the thought that it was once a scandal to see her collarbones. Her nails are a lighter shade of pink than her hair, just a bit less electric. The outfit works in some way Douxie can’t quite guess as to how, because in terms of color coordination it’s not exactly matching. Sure, he can apply makeup and turn himself into any character on stage, but it’s not the same as being able to just throw something together like that, without needing a second opinion, and just be yourself. But still, she looks as impressive as ever. 

“You’re staring, Casperan,” she says as she moves past him, a hand in Nari’s. 

“I- I’m- I’m not,” he stutters out. He’s never been a good liar. He distracts himself by undoing the wards on the door and redoing them once they’re outside. 

On the street, Douxie is mildly overwhelmed again. Sure, he’s been navigating the sidewalks for over a month but it never failed to make him worried that he’d lose a companion to the crowd. Zoe seems to notice his discomfort and takes his hand with her free one. He can breathe a little better knowing they’re still by his side. 

“So what’s on the menu?” Archie asks, knowing that the roar of the world would disguise who actually was speaking. 

“Well, there’s probably a million places we could go, but I think I’m just in the mood for something relatively simple. And preferably on the cheaper side,” he notes. Everything might be bigger in Texas, but everything was more expensive in NYC. 

“You’re not paying for this, and I’m willing to splurge a little,” Zoe says, holding a finger up to stop him from arguing. “I mean it.” 

“Fine, fine.” He knows better than to try with her. “In that case then, I suppose I’m thinking Mexican. I haven’t had actual authentic Mexican since we visited back before the civil war, but supposedly you can get authentic food from any culture here.” 

“Modern cultures,” Archie says, curling himself partially into Douxie’s hood. “Not sure everything can be replicated.” 

“Oh, that reminds me, when we were back in Camelot, Steve bought us some of those meat pies, the little ones and they were so wonderful, I had forgotten just how much better they are than anything today. I think they lost the pastry technique-”

“You had great food and didn't bring me any? I see how it is.” Zoe bumps him with her shoulder before pulling away to squeeze through the crowd. 

“Oh, c’mon, it was a week before we even left, they wouldn’t have kept...” 

The four make their way towards some restaurants Zoe had found with a quick internet search, reminiscing and laughing. 

***************

“So I definitely think that that was at least on par with what we had over two hundred years ago,” Douxie says, holding the door open as they leave. 

“At least? I’d say that was better.” Zoe falls into step beside him, taking his hand with her noticeably colder one. He puts their entwined hands in his pocket, letting a small warmth spell spread down to his palm. 

“Well, I seriously thank you for that.” Douxie reaches back to pat his familiar’s ears. Archie purrs. “Sorry they didn’t have a lot of fish for you. When we stop by the store, we’ll get you some.” 

Zoe halts suddenly, turning to Nari who is tugging at her hand. 

“May we see those plants?” She asks, pointing at a store front where a vast array of tropical plants reside. 

“I don’t see why not.” Douxie smiles. He could get used to these kinds of days. He knows that they won’t last, and at most he’ll probably only get one a week. For a moment he contemplates taking some sick days just so he has more time to spend with his little family but he knows it wouldn’t go over well. Not to mention everything he has to pay for. 

They wander the indoor greenhouse, Nari marvelling at the assortment of plants, Archie remaining on Douxie’s shoulders. Zoe guesses at what types of plants they are, doing surprisingly well, Nari correcting her here and there, though some words just don’t translate. Towards the back of the store, bonsai are lined on long shelves, trees of all sizes and styles. Nari gasps in delight. 

“They have small trees! And small forests,” she says, pointing to a pot with multiple trees in a long dish. They are a miniature stand of beech trees, with thick trunks displaying their age. 

“It’s an art, actually,” Zoe informs her, pointing to a set of bonsai styling tools hanging on the wall. “The trees live hundreds of years and get passed down through the generations. I like to think that some wizards and witches keep a lot of them.” 

Nari’s face lights up brilliantly, preceding to ask the owners of the store a million questions, who answer them bemused. Once she finally is sated, they move on, but Douxie has vowed to get her her own bonsai at some point. He’s sure she’d take wonderful care of it for millenia to come. 

“Where to next?” Douxie and Zoe end up on either side of Nari, holding her hands. 

“I was thinking Central Park. Haven’t been there yet, and I know it’s a little bit of a trip, so we can catch a taxi or the subway, whatever works. Nari, on the count of three, you jump and Zoe and I will swing you,” he says, before Zoe can even agree to it. Zoe smiles, already knowing what he’s doing. 

He counts and lifts the small dryad off her feet and they swing her a couple times before setting her down gently. Her smile beams. Douxie feels a strange hurt in his chest, thinking of how many times he’d watched parents do that with their children over the years. Or how many times he’d seen parents do anything loving and caring with their kids. Something he’d never gotten. Before he can start breaking down over it, he shakes his head and redirects them towards a street where bright yellow vehicles are stopping and going. 

Douxie waves his free hand, flagging down a taxi and opening the door for his companions to enter before him. He slides into the seat, noticing that Zoe had unfortunately been squished in the middle. 

“Central park,” Douxie requests, meeting the driver’s eyes in the rearview. “Thank you.”

“Alrighty. Got a cosplayer with us, huh? Going to that con in the park tonight?” For a second, Douxie is confused as to what she means at all, like his brain had reverted to the 12th century. Luckily, Zoe picks up. 

“Yeah, she’s getting interested at a young age, she’s my cousin, thought we’d take her out and let her see it from afar, you know?” Zoe falls into the made-up conversation with ease. 

“That’s a great idea. I would have guessed this was a date otherwise,” the driver comments. Both Zoe and Douxie flush red. “Unless it’s a little of both.” 

“It’s not-” Zoe says, before she’s cut off by Douxie.

“We’re not-” They make eye contact for a split second, faces reddening by the second. 

“I see,” the driver chuckles to herself. “Don’t stress too hard. Life’s short.” Zoe snorts quietly at that. 

They drive in silence for a bit before arriving. Douxie pays the driver and thanks her, getting out and helping Nari from the seat. 

Zoe throws Douxie a look as Nari rushes to the gate ahead of them. “We’ll talk about that later,” she says. Douxie’s stomach does somersaults again, hoping that it was just good things. Whatever it is, she clearly doesn’t want to discuss it in public. 

Nari is ecstatic, practically doing flips as they dash into the park. Douxie doesn’t think he’s ever seen her this happy. He laughs, watching her twirling and dancing. It’s certainly not the Wild Wood, but he supposes that it must be something if it’s got her this excited. Zoe follows her, glancing around. Douxie wonders if she’s thinking the same things he is. 

He’s thinking that it’s strangely like Camelot, that the field and trees remind him of those times they spent at the edge of the forest. He can only imagine those lovely days when all he was worrying about was if he’d cleaned the floor well enough for Merlin. Now, he has hundreds of reasons to be anxious. And important ones, at that. 

“You’re worrying again, aren’t you?” Zoe says, shaking her head. “Just come enjoy the sun before it’s gone.”

Douxie sighs and heads into the park after them, surreptitiously summoning a bright blue Frisbee in his hands. They spend the rest of the afternoon teaching Nari games and relaxing in the sun. 

*******************

Douxie closes the apartment door behind him, carrying a very sleepy forest goddess in his arms. He brings her to the little nest in his room and draws a blanket over her, wishing her a goodnight and sweet dreams. He’s certainly grown a soft spot for her, and he guesses that Merlin felt quite the same. Archie trots up to his door and stops the wizard from leaving.

“I’m going to join Nari for the night. You and Zoe behave yourselves, alright?” Archie winks. Douxie picks up his guitar and a couple pieces of sheet music. 

“Oh, be quiet.” Douxie goes to leave, but turns first. “Goodnight, Arch.”

Archie purrs as he shuts the door carefully. Douxie rolls his eyes, returning to the main part of the apartment where Zoe is moving things around, putting groceries away. For a moment, he could almost imagine that they’re just living together and this would be a normal night. But he knows it’ll never be that simple. She turns around, seeing him standing there. 

“So, I see you’ve broken the guitar out, huh?” She moves around the shoes scattered across the floor and tugs a piece of sheet music from his hand. “Learning a new song?” 

“Uh, yeah, I have been. I don’t need the sheets anymore, though,” he says quickly, snatching it back and stuffing it among other assorted papers on the counter. “I was thinking, since I’ve got the time now, I could play some things for you. It’s just been a while, and I know it’s not the band or anything-”

“I’d appreciate that,” she says, cutting him off. “Seriously, don’t worry about it. You do realize I’ve known you literally forever?”

“Well, not literally…” Douxie smiles softly as she rolls her eyes. “But yes. I know. I should know by now. I’ll shut up.”

“You already know I’m here to listen to whatever stupid or not stupid things you have to say. So?”

“Yeah. Right. Well, I was thinking we’d head up to the roof. There’s something I thought you’d like to see.” His confidence is slowly coming back now, Zoe’s words comforting him. She’s right, afterall. He guides her from the apartment and down the hall, and up a flight of stairs. He reaches the top first and pushes the door open. “After you.” 

He pulls his hood up, his ears chilling quickly in the slight wind. There’s a bench that sits some feet before the edge of the rooftop, a long railing surrounding it all. It certainly helps with his newfound fears about falling. He leads her to the railing and sets his guitar down beside them. The twilight hour is just beginning to settle in and he knows it’ll be just minutes until the lights flicker on. The sky stretches away in shades of purple and gray haze. Zoe stares out across the dark city, her eyes finally settling on Douxie beside her. 

“You know, New York isn’t so bad. I thought it would be worse,” she says, drumming her fingers on the railing. “Last time I was here, it was still New Amsterdam. I guess the smell isn’t so nice, but otherwise, it’s fine.”

“Oh!” Douxie exclaims. “That’s right. Just a second.” He swirls his fingers through the air, hands rising up and then sweeping them to the ground, a faint splash of blue magic dispersing at their feet. 

Zoe inhales, tilting her head. “It...it smells like the wood. The Wild Wood. And it’s quiet.” She breathes in deeply, sighing. “I didn’t know how much I’d missed that.”

“And lilacs,” Douxie murmurs, watching her face. He knew that when doing this particular spell, it would smell like what the caster wanted it to smell like, but for this unique case, all he’d wanted was for it to be something Zoe wanted. The spell only worked on a small area of air around the intended subjects, but it was surprisingly effective. Judging by her expression, he’d done well. “But I’d suggest you open your eyes for this.” 

Zoe does, and looks out to where Douxie points his chin. Like thousands of fireflies, the lights of the city flicker on, glimmering into a steady existence. She gasps. “It’s like candles, or, or like lanterns.” 

“It makes me remember what Camelot used to be like at the same time of day. I thought you’d like it,” he says, smiling as she turns, taking it all in around her. He just watches her stunned awe. 

“Of course I do. Man, I could look at these lights forever.” She finally turns back to Douxie, who’s picked up the guitar again. “But I’m guessing you have other plans.”

“I do, yeah. I sort of, uh, wanted a do-over of that...mess...that happened a century ago. Without the whole charade. Anyways. You’ll like it,” he says, something that he’s sure is unnecessary. He shifts the guitar and begins to strum the chords, breaking into the song. Zoe smiles as she hears it, recognition clicking in her eyes. 

“Did you know, that love can grow...any place where people go…” he begins. He keeps his eyes trained on his fingers, not that he needs to. “And I can tell by what I see…that you have found a place with me.”

He meets her eyes, finding that he isn’t blushing or worried anymore, just confident and settled in the lyrics. “The sun is high, the day is new...and I have found a place, with you.” Zoe steps closer, her magic not in use but certainly palpable in the air, thick with emotion. He can only imagine his own is noticeable. “Every place and every face, casts a spell and leaves a trace…With you in mind, and with you near…the myth is gone, the past is clear…” Zoe traces a finger over small scars on his face and he shivers. She’s mouthing the lyrics now. “...and here with scars of now and then so you and I begin again.” 

“Did you know I’ve been searching?” Zoe joins him, her voice softer and a bit more melodic than his. He’s not thrown off by this, and he gives himself a moment to enjoy the sound of her voice.  
“Did you know I’ve been blind?” He sings, seeing how they settle into the lyrics. “Did you know I’ve been touching anything I could find?”

“Did you know that here below, moving where my feelings flow…” Their voices complete the sound, clearly and fully. Douxie has always loved singing with her. Something about their voices fit like perfectly drawn runes in some grand spell. “You live with me, in time that’s new, suspended in a love that’s true…And far beyond the fatal noise and bathed in all life's simple joys…”

The strings settle quiet notes into the air, everything becoming wonderfully peaceful. Douxie takes his hands from the guitar and it hangs in air, playing on by itself as a blue magic encapsulates it. He holds his hands out to her, which she takes, stepping into a slow dance. Douxie leads them, turning with the change of chords. Zoe’s smile is true, happy, and beautiful. She places a hand in his chest, looking up into his eyes. She leans some of her weight into him and he’s sure she can feel all the raised scars under his thin top. He meets her piercing blue ones with confidence and understanding, finally at ease. They move slower, practically just swaying. He cups her cheek with a hand, feeling her pulse in her fingertips against his heart. 

“Did you know that love can grow any place where people go…And I can tell by what I see that you have found a place with me,” they sing, the notes trailing away and the guitar playing the chords after the last words are spoken. 

He could look at her forever and longer. She’s everything he’s ever wanted and more. She’s funny and brave and fearless and kind and comforting and soothing and sarcastic and supportive and protective and talented and intelligent, and so much more. And he realizes it then. Admits it to himself.

Douxie tentatively glances at her lips, a hundred things running through his mind. There’s no way she didn’t notice the look. _Should I ask? Should I say something? Just go for it? Remember what happened that first time? Oh gods…_

Before he can decide on anything, Zoe grasps his hood in both hands and puts it down against his neck, her hands coming to rest on the back of his head. She stands on her toes, leaning in and closing her eyes, her lips just barely brushing his for less than a heartbeat, before starting to pull away. He aches as she draws back. 

“Come back,” he says, nose brushing hers, moving a hand into her hair, brushing it from her face. 

“I’m not going anywhere,” she whispers, barely audible. They sink into each other’s lips, drawing each other closer, eyes shut in bliss, the only sense of the world the breath on each other’s cheeks. He wishes the feeling could last forever, that he could just be trapped in this moment endlessly, never needing to worry about anything else but her lips on his. 

He breaks the kiss with upsetting hesitancy. “You’re amazing,” he manages, trying to find all the things he wants to say. Which shouldn’t be hard, considering that there’s a lot of those. 

“You’re just as wonderful,” Zoe replies, eyes shining. She practically glows. He can feel their magic in the air, full of some strange new potential. 

“Zoe, I…” Douxie pauses. Her hands slip into his, giving a gentle squeeze. “I’m not sure how to say it, I guess. I’ve known you nearly forever, and you’re the most brilliant person I’ve ever met. And I know Merlin said a whole lot of things about relationships, but I’ve died once and if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that we need to say the things we mean, while we still can. It doesn’t matter how long or short our lives are. Not everyone gets second chances.” He bites his lip, trying to pace out his words. 

“Go on,” Zoe encourages. He takes a shaky breath. _This is it, the moment that changes everything, whether I like it or not._

“I love you, Zoe. Hell, even something more than that, something without words to describe it. And I’m going to love you for the rest of my life.” 

Zoe touches his face gently, running a thumb over his cheek. “I love you too, Hisirdoux. And I want to be right there with you, for the rest of our lives.” 

Douxie slips his arms around her and pulls her into him, his head against her shoulder, her arms around his neck. And they hold each other, finally and truly and fully open. Their magic warms them, weaving through the space between them, filling cracks and fissures he didn’t know he had. He’s never felt so vulnerable or so happy. And he holds her tight, small tears of joy and relief slipping down his face. He can’t remember how long it’s been since he cried happily, if ever. 

“It took you long enough,” Zoe says, fingers gently running through tangles in his hair. “This more than makes up for that first time.” 

“I suppose it did take a while, but I also wouldn’t have it any other way. I just wish our lives could be normal for once.” He stands upright again, hands against her back. 

“I can understand that, but I don’t mind living it up a bit. One day, we’ll be able to grow old. But not yet. Not for a while.” Her grin is full of energy and confidence. And Douxie knows that’s exactly what he really wants; to live and love with her at his side. 

“Well,” Douxie says, flicking his fingers at the guitar, a new melody playing. “Care to dance?” 

“I’d be happy to.” 

They lead each other through all manner of dance, from centuries old to newer, Douxie changing the time of the music to the various dances. His guitar was no longer just a single sound, but a whole orchestra playing away. They slow waltz, foxtrot, polka, tango, and more, rediscovering dances they’d learned long ago. Dancing had kept them busy over the years. It was engaging, fun, and best of all, involved music. 

Eventually, the dances meld together and they move to their own whims, following each other, growing a bit fatigued. 

“Been a while since we’ve danced like this,” Zoe says between steps and breaths. 

“Too long. It’s more fun than I recall,” he responds, taking her hand and stepping back. He twirls her into his chest and they step together. “I’m a little rusty.” 

“You haven’t managed to step on my feet yet, so I’d say you’re doing fine.” Zoe grins up at him as he twirls her out again. 

“Don’t jinx us now,” Douxie laughs. He draws her close and out once more, Zoe light and graceful on her feet. He dips her suddenly and she gasps but he holds her with ease. He kisses her nose playfully before pulling them back up. 

She giggles, burying herself in his chest, relaxing into his arms. He simply holds her, nose and lips against her head, breathing deeply and slowly as though he’s trying to memorize her smell. She smells like lilac and herbs and woodsmoke. And she smells like home. 

Zoe breaks away and returns to lean against the railing, eyes on the city lights again. Douxie comes up behind her, resting his chin on her head for a moment before she nudges him off. 

“I’m not that short,” she protests. 

“Uh huh,” he answers, following her eyes. 

“So how long has it been?” Zoe looks at him, eyes bright. 

“Oh, well. I thought you were cute since that first day, and things only grew from there. I can only imagine I was charming. Smelling like the slorr.” She elbows him lightly. 

“I meant...more than that.” She gestures at nothing in particular with a hand. The words are still catching on Douxie’s tongue, too. 

“Well. I’ve known forever, I’ve just taken my time in admitting it to myself. I had planned to die that night, when I actually did. But I thought I was going to die for good. I’d already lost Merlin but I’d saved everyone else. There was no other way to get out. And I was content to think that maybe the age of Camelot’s great wizards would end with me that night. I came to terms with it.” He pauses, letting himself breathe, grounding himself on the feeling of Zoe’s warmth against his side. “I said all my goodbyes inside my head, or out loud, I can’t recall. Thought that maybe I’d join Merlin if there was an afterlife. And I asked myself if I had any regrets. Asked myself if I could truly be okay to die like this. I was at peace. Mostly. Maybe just small, petty things. But there was one thing that did get to me.” 

Douxie looks at her now, taking her hand in his. Her eyes have gone soft and almost sad now. 

“I was sad I’d have to die without ever telling you I loved you. That was going to be my last thought.” 

“Douxie…” she starts softly, pulling him closer. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

“I’m here now, Zoe. And rest assured I’ll be saying cheesy things all the time now. You won’t be able to get me to shut up,” he laughs. “Besides, haven’t we just been saying it for years in other ways? And what was it for you?” 

“I suppose that’s true. It’s been centuries of people asking if we’re courting or dating or whatever they call it nowadays,” she admits, a grin forming. “For me? I’ve known it forever, too. That disaster of a first kiss a hundred years ago made me really consider things, if I’m being honest. I hate to say it, but if I hadn’t been so pissed at you I might have enjoyed it. And when you walked into Hex Tech that night, all beaten and bloody with that stupid smile on your face before I even said anything, still wearing your Camelot get-up. I almost started with ‘You’re lucky I love you.’ Gods, that would have been wonderful, right in front of Merlin. And after that, we were just dealing with too much to process correctly. Needed some time to let things work themselves out.” 

Douxie doesn’t even need to ask why she never said it, for the same reasons he never said it before. Things came together and fell apart that fateful night he’d lost Merlin. They’ve certainly been in love for a stupid amount of time, spending centuries denying it, when everything was painted so clearly before them. 

But he knows they didn’t mind it. They’d formed an incredible bond over the years, something far more than unbreakable. They’d grown and learned and experienced the world together. And he can rest assured that neither of their quirks or habits could ever irritate the other at this point. He trusts her with his soul. 

She’s something beyond a love, beyond a significant other, beyond soulmate even. Because a soulmate would have to be perfect for you, someone ideal in every sense of the term, he thinks. What a boring life that would be, having someone at his side who wasn’t a little exciting. She’s certainly not perfect for him in the usual sense, but she’s exactly what he needs. Exactly who he’s always needed. 

“Someone is having all kinds of thoughts,” she muses, looking up at him. 

“Yeah, yeah. I can share them, if you’d like.” He smiles a little mischievously. 

“Shoot, if you’re so keen on it.” Zoe copies his smile, eyes questioning but interested. 

“Well,” he starts, running a thumb down her cheek and to her jaw. “Twice in nine hundred years is nothing. I was thinking I’d like to make up for some lost time.” 

“I wouldn’t mind that at all,” Zoe answers. She meets his lips with a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that that's written out....time to write some actual plot! Maybe! 
> 
> (It may be a little bit before the next chapter is posted. I am working on my Zouxie week fics, learning to create digital art (Douxie art incoming), and a couple of inspired Halloween fics for fun, and one Alternate-Ending oneshot that's very very angsty. So not to fear, there will still be plenty of content to keep you occupied in the mean time.
> 
> (ALSO: Edit!! Sorry, I just was informed by my 'beta reader' that Douxie says he struggles to paint his right hand fingers when he is actually left-handed. It should be struggles with the left. Ah, well. I'll leave it in there for now just because I'm not so confident the remark would be as understandable if I corrected it, lol)


	9. Shelter from the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few new discoveries are made when Zoe challenges nature in the midst of a hurricane in NYC. What could possibly go wrong? Afterwards, a plan for the next steps made clear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here comes the plot!! This one alternates POV more than I would like it to, so, sorry about that lol. But! It is here and it is complete and I think it's pretty good so far. It's been a while since the last update and I promise they're gonna start coming a little quicker lol. Also some of this was literally just an excuse to write Dumbass/Badass!Zoe and Feral/Protective!Douxie so I hope it's well received lol.

The morning of the hurricane, Douxie is at work. Specifically, he’s at a street level breakfast and lunch restaurant called Sally’s. He had considered not coming in to work that day, especially so when the officials had called for evacuation of the less inland parts of the city. But the world still had a habit of moving on even while things should have come to a standstill. 

“Welcome to Ben- Er, sorry, welcome to Sally’s. Might I take your order?” Douxie says. He can’t believe he’s still stuttering over this. He jots their request down absently and brings it to the kitchen. He snatches up a broom as he exits and returns to sweeping. 

_Greatest wizard left on Earth and I’m still pushing a broom. Some things never change._

His mind wanders to Zoe, who should be back soon. She’d returned to Arcadia via flying ship (per Douxie’s suggestion) to sort a few things out. She was taking indefinite leave from Hex Tech and temporarily rescinding co-management of Zimoc’s. It saddens him to think that she’s making these sacrifices, but ultimately it was her decision. It’s been two weeks since she’d first arrived at his door, and both a lot and nothing has happened during those two weeks. 

Douxie spends most of his time at one of his three jobs, practically wasting away just to make enough to pay for rent and the bills. Zoe had been job hunting, looking for something to keep her busy here and to help pull her own weight. Her words, not his own. The rest of the time, she spends with Nari and Archie, educating the forest goddess and making sure things go smoothly. For the most part, things are fine. 

But there is an ever-growing sense he is being watched. 

It follows him everywhere. It’s possible that he’s just getting paranoid, especially after spending not quite two months in the city with hide nor hair of the Arcane Order showing. He doubts they’ve actually lost them, and he wishes he’d been able to ask Merlin more questions about how long the Order had been chasing him since he’d awoken. He stores these thoughts away, deciding to ask Jim or Claire eventually. 

The rain pelts the glass storefront, a sense of danger spiking his adrenaline. _It’s not going to be pretty._ Soon enough, the rain and wind throwing it against the windows becomes deafeningly loud, the few customers still in the restaurant hurriedly running out. 

“We should have closed,” Douxie mutters to himself. All he can think of is poor Nari back home, who will surely be feeling the pain of thousands when the storm hits in full force. _Oh. Oh no._ “Zoe.”

He shoves through the swinging doors and cuts through the kitchen, making his way into the empty break room and pulling his phone out. He frantically enters her number, hands beginning to shake. The phone rings three times, before it finally picks up. 

“Hey, you doing alright?” comes Zoe’s voice, a little bit crackling through the line. 

“I’m fine for now, but you need to stay out of the city, somewhere inland, the hurricane is getting worse and it’ll be making landfall within the hour. You can’t fly that ship through it,” he says hurriedly. 

“I’m actually doing better on time, I can get there before it hits-”

“No, it’s getting bad. You really should just find somewhere to stay, please-” 

“I got this, Douxie, and besides, Nari needs someone back at the apartment.”

“Archie is there, and I’m trying to get off work as soon as possible, I’ve got this all under control. This is a hurricane we’re talking about-”

“I’m half an hour out. That’s not even far enough to be away from the reaches of the storm as it comes inland. I’ll see you in a bit.” 

“Zoe, I’m not-” and the call drops, beeping. He curses under his breath and clenches the edge of the table tightly. _Why is she so stubborn?_ He knows she’s capable. But still, things like hurricanes aren’t exactly something magic can easily circumnavigate. Douxie knows that he’ll have his hands full here. He tracks down his fellow employees, who are peering out of the great windows at the mess the street has become. 

“Hey, guys, think it’s safe to say we close up shop?” Douxie follows their eyes and sees that the street is wracked by wind, debris flying down the street. “Safest to get out now.”

One of them, a woman taller than Douxie, turns and nods. “He’s right. Call it a day and get out.” His boss nods and waves them off. Douxie nods in turn, and pulls his jacket tight about his chest, whispering a spell under his breath. “Maneat aridam.” His jacket sheds the rain easily now. 

“Zoe, you’d better know what you’re doing,” he says quietly, throwing an arm up against the rain. He descends into the subway, where water is already dribbling down the steps. He draws his hood up and becomes a part of the crowd, silently praying that some merciful gods are watching over the city. 

*************************

Zoe has made a moderate amount of bad choices in her lifetime. What immortal didn't? Illegal activities, car chases, theft, using magic in a time where witches were executed, drinking, vandalism, and so on. But she’d made it out of those all fine. 

What could be so bad about a hurricane? 

She steels herself against the whipping wind and rain, casting a small shield ahead of her to clear her view. The storm is certainly more powerful than she’d expected. She begins to grow cold, skin and clothes soaked. But she feels alive. It’s been too long since she’s done something a little crazy. Ever since the near-end of the world (again) Douxie has been much more concerned for the safety of his friends. 

She grasps her wand, temporarily transformed into something enough of a staff to control and steer the flying ship. It was surprisingly harder than Douxie had made it out to be, but after all, Douxie had been the one who constructed the ship. Merlin had written out the plans in advance and younger Douxie had built it and kept it safe all these years. She remembers that he’d devoted hours to what Merlin had left him. He’s named the ship, too, Fatum Volatus. All Zoe knows is that he’s proud of the vessel, tending to it like old men to their antique sports cars. She has to say she likes the ship, the way she moves. 

A gust of wind staggers her and she readjusts, bracing against the wand-staff. _Nothing I can’t handle._

The storm picks up in howling rage, becoming blinding despite the shield. The city isn’t visible through the clouds anymore and all Zoe has to go off of is a homing beacon moving like a compass at the front of the ship. It points to wherever the captain wishes to go, useful, if not a little uninspired, she thinks. He was ever the avid reader, picking up ideas from tomes and tales all the time. The beacon was yet another one of his inventions over the years. She fondly recalls spending hours on various projects with him, trial and error. 

A furious wail comes from the storm, a giant piece of billboard flying towards the ship. Zoe pulls hard on the staff, careening the ship away, but the wind throws the board back towards the ship like a terrifyingly large boomerang, glancing off the hull. The ship spins around, and Zoe struggles to pull it back onto course. She throws her weight against the staff, pulling with all her strength. _I’m nearly there._

It’s not enough, and soon another sheet of debris hits the ship, tossing Zoe from her place and sending her sliding across the deck. She scrambles for grip but between the slick and the tilt, she can’t find purchase. She gasps, summoning her wand back before it can skip across the ship and away. She struggles to right herself. But it’s no use and the ship has crashed against a rooftop, stopping it’s freefall. She’s thrown against the ship’s cabin and hits her head hard. 

The last things she hears are the sounds of grinding metal as the ship finally stops moving and the wind lashing rain against the rooftop. 

*********************************

“So remind me again why we’re housing some stranger in our one safe place?”

“She’s hurt and would have probably died in the hurricane if we left her out there. Besides, can’t you sense her magic?”

“To me, it seemed like she was attacking us. It would be the perfect opportunity. No one in their right mind would be flying in this weather.”

Zoe comes to, a heavy pain in the back of her skull. _Oh, gods. Not a concussion. Doux will kill me._ She opens her eyes, the light suddenly blinding and painful. She sucks in a delicate breath, feeling bruises lighting up across her body. 

“She’s awake! Be on your guard,” comes a new voice. 

Blinking the blurriness away, she takes in the room. It’s a large conference room and she’s laid on a couple of blankets on a table. Her wand is beside her. There’s a handful of people spread about the room. A couple of them are older, middle aged, the rest in their twenties. Or, seeming to be, that is. Wait, no, there’s one very timid girl hiding in the corner of the room, peering at her with deep brown eyes. 

“Who the hell are you?” Zoe asks, her voice hoarse. She coughs, rubbing her arms. She’s freezing, and still soaking wet to the bone. The chill AC of the room isn’t helping anything, either. 

“We should ask you the same thing. Crashing a magic ship on the roof of our safe-”

“Stop! Don’t tell her anything!” Hisses the tallest, and seemingly oldest of all of them. She’s slightly taller than Zoe, with a face of rage and fury. Her magic practically pours off of her in hostility. She looks battle hardened and aggressive. Everything that Zoe would prefer to avoid right now. She just wants to get home, to Douxie. “You better have some damn good reasons for why you’re here.”

“I wasn’t even trying to end up on your roof, for gods sakes. Just let me get out of here. I have friends- family -I need to get back to.” She pauses, holding a hand up. She listens for a moment, picking up on the rain. “Storm’s still going, huh?”

“You aren’t going anywhere until you talk,” she growls, holding a scepter out at Zoe’s neck. 

“Bleeding balroths, what’s wrong with you people?” She coughs again, trying to clear her throat. “And would someone get me some water? Or a towel?” 

One of the others moves, but the apparent leader grabs his arm, stopping him from walking out. “No. She gets nothing.” 

“Seriously. This is ridiculous. I have no fucking clue who you are, and I’m content to just get the hell out of here and never see any of you again.” Zoe is beginning to get pissed off, but it’s hard to tell if she could hold her own against these vagabond hedgewitches. She knows her magic is probably plenty powerful enough, especially with the enhancers, but after a head injury it might not be a great idea. 

“Who the hell are you? You’d better tell me before I curse you to-” 

“You don’t need to know-” Zoe draws short as a boom sounds in the building. The other magic users whip around, looking to the door. 

A crash comes from the hallway and the door slams to the ground with a puff of blue magic dissipating into the air. A tall, enraged wizard with his hands on fire stands where the door just was, eyes blazing electric blue. _That wasn’t a dramatic entrance at all. And by Merlin’s beard, when did he get even more attractive? No, focus, Zoe._

“Where is she?” he growls, hood shadowing his face. He waves his staff at the others, who take steps away. He swings around and spots Zoe, blue flames settling immediately. He steps forward quickly. 

The leader puts Zoe in a headlock and draws her scepter to her neck. Zoe tenses as she feels the sharp metal prodding her throat. “Not so fast, hotshot. Who the hell are you two and why have we never seen you before?”

Douxie throws his hood back, water dripping from it. His eyes are back to their usual hazel, but his stance is still at the ready, holding his staff confidently at his side. “I am Hisirdoux Casperan, successor to none other than Merlin Ambrosius.” 

The others in the room shift uncomfortably, glancing at each other and their leader. Zoe does her best to give him a ‘really?’ look. He’s just playing with the drama by now, though she has to admit it’s effective.

Douxie clears his throat loudly. “It is customary,” he says softly, voice commanding power, “to kneel before a master wizard.”

The others in the room drop to their knees almost immediately, averting their eyes. Douxie sets his shoulders and raises his chin, looking more powerful than Zoe’s ever seen him look. She realizes now his chest is heaving; he’s been running and he’s worried. Anyone else would think that it was adrenaline but she knows better. The leader keeps her scepter at Zoe’s throat, holding eye contact with Douxie. 

“Who is she to you, self-acclaimed master wizard?” 

“She’s mine, and you’ll take your hands off her. Right. Now.” Douxie crosses his arms over his chest, holding up his hands in the sign of the horns. He breathes a spell, forming a rune in the air in front of him. _I could get used to ‘mine.’ Oh gods, I must have really hit my head hard._

“What happens if I don’t?” The woman presses the scepter harder. She feels that awful choking feeling growing and grimaces. Zoe clenches her jaw, pressing a finger against her captor’s chest behind her where she had worked her arms slowly while Douxie talked. 

“Then you get just a little shock, and whatever he has in store for you,” Zoe says, barely daring to move her throat. She meets Douxie’s eyes, understanding what he’s thinking. 

“Like you’ll do anything,” guffaws the leader. Zoe watches the moment Douxie decides to take action. He closes his eyes and when they open, they’re glowing again. Zoe lets her magic channel into the chest of the woman holding her, giving her a mild electric shock. The woman’s body convulses in reflex, drawing away. A burst of wind blasts through the room, harmlessly brushing over Zoe but throwing the others back a couple feet.

The woman gasps and drops Zoe, the scepter just grazing her neck. Zoe throws herself across the table and positions herself beside Douxie, raising her hands with her fingers outstretched, feeling somewhat lightheaded again but confident nonetheless.

“You okay? They didn’t hurt you, right?” Douxie whispers, hands twitching as he makes himself hold his rune up instead of reaching out to her. His eyes are filled with worry, all sense of drama long gone. _That’s her classic Douxie._

“I’ll be fine.” She feels the thin scratch dripping blood, hot against her neck. She lifts a hand to it and presses. _I’ve had much worse._

“Okay. Good.” He looks at her for a moment, seeming to check her over, visibly relaxing when he finds nothing else. He lets out a low sound of exasperation and quickly kisses her forehead before returning his focus to the other wizards in the room. “So who are you all?”

“We were a secret organization of underground wizards in this part of New York City. Your girlfriend here just so happened to crash her ship on our roof and destroy some wards. Seemed more like an attack than anything. Why else would someone be flying in a hurricane?” The woman stares hard at the two of them and Zoe rolls her eyes. 

“I told her not to, she did it anyways, that sort of thing. Well, we’ll uh, we’ll be grabbing the ship and getting out of your hair. I have a city to protect.” Douxie releases the spell, grasping his staff. The woman who had just moments ago held Zoe points her sceptre at Douxie. 

“I fully expect to meet you again. Especially now that you know where to find us. And this is our turf, newbie.” The leader lowers her hand and juts her chin out, defiance burning in her eyes. 

“I have bigger things to worry about, trust me.” Douxie shakes his head and waves, backing out of the room. “Sorry about the door!” 

He puts a hand against Zoe’s back as they leave. She notices that his hands are trembling slightly. “Are you okay?” 

“Y-yeah. Just a little freaked out. First I come home and Nari says that she can sense you nearby, injured, and then I get here and there are hedgewizards or something, and that one woman looked like she wanted to rip our throats out. And the whole storm and all-” Douxie whirls around and grabs her arm, anxiety showing clearly on his face. “I told you to wait it out! You could have been hurt, or worse, Zoe-”

“Let’s not yell, please…” she mutters. “I think I got a concussion. Or just hurt my head. I don’t really know.”

“Oh, bloody hell, of course you’re hurt. In the middle of a hurricane. We should go to the hospital, but I don’t even know if I can safely get us there, not to mention just how many people will be needing it-” 

“Douxie, please. Breathe. I’m conscious, I’m moving, I can talk, my sight seems okay. I’m right here. Should be okay. Just, hurts a little.” Zoe squeezes his hand, attempting a smile. “Let’s grab the ship and go home.”

Douxie nods. “Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we’ll do that.” They reach the rooftop, where Douxie shrinks the ship and tucks it in a bag slung over his shoulder, taking the fire escape back down to the ground. Douxie shields them with a simple spell, enough to keep the rain and wind off so they can trudge the last block home in ankle deep water. 

By the time they reach the apartment, their feet are soaked and they’re freezing. Zoe is still soaked from her run-in with the rainstorm and has been shivering violently for the last ten minutes of the walk, dragging her feet on sluggishly. She feels considerably nasty, but mostly sleepy. Maybe that’s not a good thing, but she can’t remember enough right now to care. And she hates being wet. The memories and trauma don’t help it, either. 

Douxie sheds his jacket and shoes, helping Zoe to sit down and removing her shoes for her. 

“You don’t look so good,” Douxie comments, staring closely at her face. “Go get changed and dry off, I’ll make some tea.” 

She nods, forcing her mind to stay alert enough to follow his instructions. She grabs more of his clothes because they’re just easier to access and moves to the bathroom, where she dries herself off, wringing her hair out. She puts on the dry clothes, feeling decently better already. The shivers have become less severe by the time she’s returning to the main part of the house. She seats herself on the couch and closes her eyes. 

“I’m sorry, Douxie, I should have listened to you.” She shivers, closing her eyes. He moves to her, bringing a mug of tea. He pulls a blanket over her lap and wraps himself around her. 

“Hey, hey. It’s in the past. I know you too well to think you would have listened anyways. I probably would have done the same thing.” Douxie sighs, resting his chin against her head. He flicks a hand at another blanket on the floor and it comes to rest over the two of them. “But there was something off about those people.”

Zoe nods, fatigue beginning to crash down over her mind. His warmth and the blanket are warming her quite nicely. Though it’s quite possible he was using a warming spell, too. She didn’t mind. “Yeah. I didn’t like them. Then again, I was kind of rude to them so I don’t think they liked me either.” 

Douxie chuckles. “Ah, well. Think I overdid the entrance there?”

“Nah. Could have been even more dramatic if you wanted to,” she mumbles, smiling at him. His eyes are soft and comforting. “You’re cute when you’re angry.”

“Really? I’d think that would take points off on the intimidation factor,” he says, running a thumb over her knuckles. 

“Meh. I think you did fine. Stole a line from Merlin though, huh?”

“Ah, you caught that? I picked up bad habits from the old man, didn’t I,” he muses. “I don’t like it, but the situation called for something a little over the top. I think when all this passes, we need to go peacefully talk with them again. They might be helpful if the Order shows up again. We can use all the allies we can get.” 

Zoe nods. Douxie continues talking. About what, she can’t recall, because she’s lulled to sleep by him and the sound of the rain. 

*********************

Zoe wakes up to Douxie dabbing a warm washcloth against her neck. It stings, but she does her best to not pull away. She puts her head back against a pillow, rubbing at her eyes. 

“Good morning, sleepyhead.” Douxie’s warm hazel eyes study her intently. 

“Morning? I slept all yesterday afternoon and night?” Zoe groans. She shifts a little, aches and bruises making themselves known. 

“Yeah… Archie stayed here and watched you. I went out and helped keep things safer where I could, mostly keeping the subway from flooding while people were still in it, shifting debris, getting people out of danger. I know it’s not much but I hope it makes a difference. And now that the storm is over, I was going to join some of the rescue forces in searching.” Douxie sips from a teacup, gaze traveling out of the large sliding doors. 

“That’s a good idea. We can all go-” 

“No. You need to recover. And before I’m leaving, I’m talking to Dr. Lake about your possible concussion.” Douxie pulls his phone out, scrolling through his contacts. 

“Look, I’ll be fine. And think about it. The more eyes we have out there the better. You could bring Nari, she’d be able to find people easily,” Zoe adds, her mind already racing. 

“Nari isn’t safe out there, especially not around so many other people. And all that pain. I’ve been meaning to tell you, but I think I’m being watched. I’ve started to notice it whenever I go out. And I don’t think it’s those other hedge witches.” 

Zoe frowns. “You don’t mean…”

“I do mean. I don’t want to believe it either, but…” he trails off, throwing a hand up. 

“But it’s better safe than sorry,” Archie says, squeezing between the two to butt his head against Zoe’s side. “You can help us best by staying here and protecting Nari.” 

She makes a face but nods. “I suppose you’re right.” Douxie nods and hits call on his phone, standing and turning away. 

“Hey, Doctor Lake…er, Barbara. Yeah. So my friend Zoe is here with me and we suspect she got a concussion last night…” His voice becomes muted as he moves through the house, looking for gods knows what. He’s animated when he talks, whether it’s on the phone or not. “Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, in that case I’ll keep an eye on her, but things should be okay, none of those additional symptoms.”

Douxie listens intently and glances at Zoe. “Thank you so much. How’s Jim?”

Zoe picks up the tea and inhales, the scent of chai and spices hitting her nose. _Of course he got this for me._ She feels comforted immediately.

“Good to hear, really. Well, have a lovely rest of your day. You too. Bye!” Douxie ends the call and comes to sit next to Zoe on the couch. “So, you’re pretty much alright from what I can tell. But I’m still going to play it safe. Taking it easy until further notice.”

“Fine. I can live with that,” she mumbles. “I need to catch up on some updates to my wand, anyways. It took some hits in the storm.” 

She picks up the chrome and purple wand, a metal and electrical contraption that tapers to a point where a small ball of energy pulses. It looks more like a tool than anything, but at its heart it was still the original core of her wand from centuries ago. Powdered meteorite and the heartwood of a felled willow of the Wild Wood. 

“Then you’ll be able to keep yourself busy. That’s good. I really should be off now, the sooner the better.” He stands, putting a hand out in the air to bring his jacket flying towards him. He bends down and kisses her cheek. Zoe grabs his hand and pulls him back. She kisses his lips tenderly, staying for just a couple heartbeats, before releasing his hand and smiling. “I’ll be back. Love you,” he says over his shoulder. 

“Love you too,” she calls back. He shuts the door carefully behind him. It surprises her just how unbothered she is by it all, finally admitting their emotions for the first time in their very, very long friendship. It was less frightening than she thought it would be. And a lot more comforting. 

Nari wanders into the living room, seeming more apprehensive than usual. A flicker of pain crosses her face and Zoe understands it better now. “Where is Archibald?” she asks. Zoe had seen Nari join the familiar when she was feeling unwell, much like Douxie would. 

Zoe pats the spot on the couch beside her to encourage Nari to come sit down. “He went with Douxie. They’re going to help find people who are hurt from the storm.” 

“I see.” Nari lifts the remote and turns the TV on, switching through channels. Zoe is almost proud just how adept she’s become at being able to use human technology in such a short time. She’s also nearly fluent in reading English, a feat on it’s own. 

“Nari, do you…” Zoe pauses, hesitating over her word choice. “Can you sense the magic of the Order when they’re around?” 

“Yes. I can, if I reach out to sense it. But they would notice me. So my magic channels are only open to you and Douxie. And Archie. Or if I reach out.” Nari does not pull her eyes away from the screen. 

“So there’s no way to tell where they are?” 

“I cannot sense them with my roots. They do not have souls like mortals or mages. Skrael and Bellroc have something that is not a soul. I believe I have one. Because I chose to. Magic is a complicated thing.” The little goddess runs her fingers through her long hair, hanging down in soft waves. “Why do you ask?” 

“I won’t lie to you. Douxie thinks the Order is around here.”

Nari’s face pales. “That is not good. Do we move on then? Leave here?” 

“I’m not sure we can, financially.” Zoe feels a sting of pain at seeing the torment crossing Nari’s face. “It’s not your fault. Please don’t blame yourself.” 

“We must find a way to stop them. I do not know how to banish them. It would not work for long. And there are not enough mages we know capable of creating a powerful enough enchantment.” She finally looks away from the TV, crossing to her plants and touching the leaves gingerly. 

“About that, actually. I met some hedge wizards the other night, when Douxie had to run out and find me. There were only a handful of them, but it’s possible we could get the forces to do it. I think.” 

Nari shakes her head. “They would not know the spells or have the experience necessary. It could kill them.” 

“So what about Douxie, Claire, myself? There’s got to be some way,” Zoe reasons, trying to clamp down on the ache of worry gnawing at her. “And can they be killed?”

“You three alone are not strong enough. Banishing Morgana might have been something Douxie did mostly on his own, but both Skrael and Bellroc are doubly powerful. If they are killed, the magic in the world will go awry still. I do not know what would happen.” Nari’s magic dances over the leaves of her plants, a gold-green glow. It trails around the leaves and they curl happily at her touch. 

“Okay. It’s fine, we can drop the topic for now.” Zoe feels uncomfortably chilled all of a sudden and she wraps a blanket around her. _So there’s really not a lot we can do. Not that we know of, at least. This is worse than I’d thought._

Zoe remembers quite clearly the night she decided she was headed to New York City to find Douxie. She’d had a long and sort of awful day, and had Douxie been in the area, it would have been a night she dropped by his apartment unannounced. And the feeling of knowing she couldn’t do that crushed her. Everything had built up and that night, she decided she’d had enough. In the morning, she called her work and explained her leave would be going into effect in four days, and then sorted out everything else: someone to watch the cats in Douxie’s apartment, closing Zimoc’s, a few last lessons with Claire, deciding who was in charge of watching over Arcadia, and so on. 

She bought a train ticket for one way and hopped on, spending a very boring three days crossing the long expanses of ground. After that, she’d taken the magic moth with her and used a tracing spell once she hit the city. She’d debated waiting until it was daytime, but she couldn’t have been sure he’d actually be there. And she didn’t feel like alerting him; he liked surprises and she felt it was probably better this way. It was practically no time at all to pinpoint him, between how easily she could sense his magic and the moth. This is not a comforting thought, because of how easily she fears the Order could track him down, but she’s glad it wasn’t hard. She’s a spur of the moment kind of person. If she wants to do something, she does it before she can think better of it. 

Zoe shifts and picks up a nearby notebook of Douxie’s, flipping through his pages of lyrics and finding a blank page. He’s given up on not telling her to read them. Half of them are about her, anyway, and he’d eventually share them one way or another. And they’d been able to work together on a few pieces lately and end up with something a lot better than the original. She produces a pen with her magic and begins to doodle away, the lines and figures calming her. 

*****************

Douxie returns to the apartment drenched, weary, and a little worse for the wear. He stands in front of the door for a long minute, dripping on the floor. Archie beside him transforms from a black lab into an equally wet cat, looking pathetically miserable. He shakes his coat out and heads for the bathroom. Zoe looks up from the food she’s preparing, offering a sympathetic look. 

“How’d it go?” 

Douxie sheds some dripping clothing, looking surprisingly dry underneath. His hair is plastered to his face, however, and he extends a hand towards the hallway. A towel flies out to him and he presses his face into it. “Well,” he says, muffled, “we saved a few lives. Helped out a decent bit. Some services were a little upset we were there at first but I kind of expected that. Nothing some good ole charm couldn’t fix. Couldn’t use magic undetected, though, so had to put up with the weather the good old-fashioned way. And I got a call that I have the next two days off due to damage.” He places the towel over his head and holds it there. Zoe turns and musses with his hair under the towel, making an amused face at him. The lines on his face deepen with his wide smile. 

“That’s good. Plenty of time to rest.” Douxie drops the towel around his neck and follows her to the counter, cautious of the knife she’s waving around as she talks. 

“Indeed. Speaking of, I’m exhausted. I’m thinking dinner and then putting a movie on that I can fall asleep to. I sound like an old man, don’t I?” He gets the kettle and fills it with water, the stream missing a few times. He splashes water onto the counter. “Fuzzbuckets.” He mops it up with his towel and yawns. 

“What’re we thinking for a movie, then?” Zoe asks, touching his hip as she moves around him. 

“I don’t know. Something Nari hasn’t seen yet. Something not that exciting. Maybe older. Need help with the tortillas?” he asks, pointing to the stack of them and the pan of oil waiting on the stove. 

“Sure. Thank you,” she says, returning to grating cheese. He leans over and kisses her cheek before turning to the stove and heating the pan. He smiles to himself, tired but content with the day. The people- well, person, a familiar, and one forest goddess -that he loves are all here. It’s a good thing, he reassures himself. “So I mentioned to Nari that you were getting the idea that the Order is around,” she says.

Douxie throws her a slightly frustrated look, grabbing a pair of tongs from the drawer and clicking them a couple times. “I thought we weren’t going to bring that up.”

“It was bound to come up at one point or another. We need a plan. Need to figure out something. We don’t know enough about the whole situation,” Zoe argues. Douxie nods, mostly to himself. 

“You’re probably right. But this is a problem for me tomorrow. I was also thinking I’d be up to a little sparing practice sometime here, if I’m feeling decent enough,” he says, redirecting the conversation. 

“I could definitely use it. If you deem me recovered enough,” she comments, no real bitterness to be had. He mulls it over. 

“You’ll probably be fine. With our faster healing you’re probably fine now. We’ll just be careful.” Douxie runs the tortillas through the oil, breaking into a comfortable rhythm. He definitely wasn’t the greatest cook; there was a reason he was a waiter and not a cook back at Benoit’s. But this was simple enough. “So I never really got the chance to ask, how’s everyone back in Arcadia?” 

“They seemed mostly alright to me. Seems like the Trollhunters are holding their own just fine. Not that there’s much to do. Strickler spearheaded a force to patrol nights and some Hex Tech employees for the day. Gives Jim and the others a break. Steve is teaching a few of the locals how to be a knight, apparently. I avoided that.” 

“Figures,” Douxie says, yawning again. _Gods, he’s getting a bit overly tired._ “We should invite them over for a night one of these days.” 

“I think they’d like that, so long as we keep all the chaos to a minimum. There’s not a whole lot of space in here, if you haven’t noticed.” Douxie glances around, observing just how much of the apartment is taken up by their minimal possessions. It’s just barely able to be called cozy with two people living in it, much less a little forest goddess and a familiar. 

“I’ve noticed,” he replies dryly. “You know, I realized I left a lot of my books and materials at the bookshop and my apartment back in Arcadia. I was thinking maybe it’s time I set up a portal spell so we can easily move between here and there.” 

“That takes a lot of magic, Casperan,” Zoe warns, pulling plates out of the cupboard. Nari examines the utensils in the silverware drawer, eyes switching between the food and the forks. 

“Nari, this is finger food, but I appreciate the consideration and thought you’re putting into this.” He pats her head and she smiles. “I think I’m capable of a portal. Besides, even a bit of extra ability to move between here and there could put things in our favor. That is, I mean, if the Order becomes an issue. I just don’t even know where to start on all of this stuff with the Order.” 

“Well, I know it hasn’t been too long since we were there last, but my father has quite an extensive collection of tomes in his den, many that entail ancient knowledge. I never really got around to reading them, I was out of the nest as soon as I could be.” Archie sighs, rubbing a paw over his forehead. “Anyways, just thought maybe it’s helpful information. There is a wealth of knowledge to be had there.”

“That could actually be really helpful, thank you Arch,” Douxie says, running his hand over his familiar’s head with his free hand. “We still need to sit down and have that talk.” 

Archie grumbles. “Yes, yes I know. We will have that talk.” Douxie accepts this confirmation and puts a plate on the floor with his salmon. “The ‘I lied about my father for years’ talk. I do apologize.” 

“Apology accepted. Weren’t you saying his den can be accessed from a variety of places? Or what kind of magic is it?” Douxie inquires. 

“It’s bridge magic, just like the trolls. But not only does it work for bridges, it’s also capable of working with other points of entry as often described in fantasy settings. But it has its limitations, otherwise we wouldn’t have had to travel a couple hours to reach an entry point.” Archie licks his lips. “Some entry points move, and there’s only specific ones. You can’t just open a portal anywhere, it has to be there already. I can sense where they are because I’m related to his magic.” 

“That’s actually very interesting,” Zoe adds, handing a taco to Nari. “Makes me wonder if that’s where any missing people or creatures have gone, to a dragon’s den.” 

“Oh, it’s quite likely. But most dragons are kindly creatures and just let them go.” Archie reveals that he is finished talking by proceeding to eat. Because there’s no formal dining settings, the other three squeeze onto the couch and use the coffee table. 

“So I suppose we have a plan, then,” Douxie says aloud, as though finalizing it. The others grunt in agreement. He debates mentioning something he’d stumbled across will on rescue duty, but decides that maybe it’s better for another day. Instead, he digs into the meal and quickly forgets any previous worries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep an eye out for the little details in here...
> 
> And here it finally is, nearly a month and like a dozen new works later, lol. If you just came back for Saudade, I'd highly recommend checking out some of my works between the last installment of this one and now, because not only do some of them work into this timeline, but the others provide useful background information.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Comments and kudos forever appreciated.


	10. Ready or Not

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merlin left more mysteries than answers in his wake, but there may be some places with stones left unturned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another Zoe perspective? I know, I'm sorry lol. And this one will switch up too, but it will be divided and pretty obvious. More Nari POV to come next chapter. The beginning is apologetic fluff for what I did to y’all with the last installment of A Wizard’s Beginnings. Also new plot points! Fun stuffs around every corner.

Douxie skids across the rooftop, feet gliding on the wet surface as he dances away from the attack. He ducks and rolls, jumping up behind his attacker and sending a blast of magic between her shoulderblades. She stumbles and tucks into a somersault, throwing up a shield to deflect the spike of blue magic that follows, the light rain pinging off the forcefield visibly. 

“C’mon, I know that’s not all you’ve got, Casperan,” Zoe pants, a spell flaring with intensity in her palm. Small lightning bolts buzz over her skin, curled into her hands. A halo of pink reflects in her eyes and the puddles by her feet, casting an almost cinematic scene. 

“Well, excuse me for trying to take it easy on you!” he calls back, wiping his dripping brow and flinging the water away. He runs for her, staff outstretched. He fires the spell and she drops to avoid it, sliding past him, grabbing his foot and pulling him down. He drops heavily and chuckles. “I see how it is.” 

Douxie picks himself up behind his shield and when he drops it, goes for the more unconventional approach of physically using the staff. He swings it and she ducks, straightens, and holds her own wand out, transforming it into something that quite resembles a lightsaber, the beam glowing electric pink. 

“Party tricks?” Douxie asks, grinning as they parry and lunge. She beats him back a couple of steps before losing ground to his overhead strike. 

“Admit it, you’re just jealous. Your inner Trekkie could never,” she answers, the two weapons coming together in a lock, placing them dangerously close. She can feel his hot breath on her cheek.

He smirks, eyes set on hers. “But can you do this?” The wizard leaps back, casting her saber away, the staff in his hands transforming into the electric guitar with a squeal of a chord. 

His fingers fly over the fretboard and a blast of magic shoots out at her, forcing her to dive away. She takes momentary cover behind a tall metal shed, transforming the wand back and catching her breath. He plays on, seemingly captivated by his staff. She uses some crates to clamber around and above the shed, looking down and seeing that he’s turned his back. _Perfect._

Zoe leaps down and tackles him, or as best she can with her smaller stature. He’s not brought down by it, but the guitar vanishes and he whirls around with her hanging from his shoulders. She clamps down harder and hooks her ankle around his and kicks her leg out, tripping him. Both of them are brought down, but Zoe manages to pin him and grabs his wrists, straddling him. He groans, wincing. 

“Don’t let yourself get distracted,” she says, chest heaving, a crooked grin on her face. Douxie smiles. 

“Ah, I let you win,” he says dismissively, tugging at his arms. She doesn’t release them and he drops his head back down. He makes a face and she gives in, letting go almost reluctantly. 

“My hubris says that’s a lie, but the part of me that doesn’t want to hurt your feelings believes it.” Her eyes are full of satisfied amusement and he looks back with admiration.

“So the other part of you _does_ want to hurt my feelings. Wow,” he teases, hand moving to her hair. 

“Oh, shut up,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. He draws a hand up to her cheek, brushing away dirt with a gentle touch. He laughs softly, just holding her eyes for a long moment. She has half a mind to kiss him. She leans into his hand and closes her eyes, taking the blissful moment. 

But, like all good things, it doesn’t last long. 

Douxie’s hands drop to her waist and he has her flipped over onto her back before she can even register it, laughing at her look of indignation. 

“Don’t get distracted, eh?” But the look on his face isn’t prideful. He’s grinning widely, the soft laugh lines drawn into his cheeks, his eyes shining with a playful affection. Zoe lets out a small sigh. If only she could just have this forever. 

“You’re a welcome distraction,” she mumbles, reaching out and turning his necklace over in her hands. He chuckles softly.

Douxie pulls his hood back and flips his hair out of his face, sending droplets flying. He leans down and kisses her, his wet hair brushing against her skin. One of his palms is cold against her face, the other warm with the hum of lingering magic. His lips are soft and warm, and he tastes vaguely like mint. _Is that because I complained about him tasting like English Breakfast the other day?_ she thinks, but dismisses the thought. _I couldn’t care less. Not to mention, we’ve both improved tremendously at this fine art since the first time._ She entwines her fingers over the back of his head and lets herself get lost in the moment. 

“Douxie?”

Both mages scramble apart in surprise, laughing nervously to find that it’s just his familiar picking his way between puddles. Zoe gets up first and offers a hand out to Douxie, pulling him onto his feet. 

“Uh, hey Arch,” Douxie says, reaching down and picking up the cat. “Is everything alright?”

“Yes, Nari is fine. She’s busy watching that tree movie with the fluffy, orange goblin-” 

“The Lorax?” Douxie interjects. His familiar waves a paw dismissively. 

“Yes, that, but anyways, I was just wondering if you’d like to tell Zoe now about what we found,” Archie continues. Zoe narrows her eyes and stabs a finger into the wizard’s chest. 

“You found something, obviously important, and didn’t tell me?” she asks somewhat incredulously. “I thought we were well past that stage-” 

“Archie, that was a terrible way to bring up the conversation. Zoe, let me explain to you and it will all make sense.” He guides them to a space where a tarp is hung over some crates and sits down in the dry spot, dragging up another crate for Zoe to sit. She sheds his jacket that she’d commandeered and hangs it beside the dripping one he’d just removed. He appears to cast a spell, but utters no words to go with it. _The amount of magic he can do wordlessly now is...unnerving._ The jackets shed the water much easier now and he clears his throat. 

“So, a few days ago, when we were out, with the rescue teams, we ended up in this old subway tunnel.” Douxie pulls his phone from his pocket, the screen illuminating his face. He grunts and dims it quickly and taps the screen a few times. He shifts, knees bumping Zoe’s, and hands her the phone. He jabs a finger at the image it displays. “Found that in an abandoned track.” 

“It’s graffiti, Doux, nothing we haven’t seen before.” Zoe goes to hand it back, skeptical. 

“No, no, read it,” he urges her. She takes the phone back and zooms in, eyes flicking back and forth. The image sears itself into her mind, reading:

**Ancient Spirits  
Rented souls  
Keyless locks  
Bygone trolls  
Watchful hawks  
Purple skies  
Daylight broken  
No day to die **

**A message, forespoken.**

Zoe reads, shaking her head as she finishes. “It’s rhyming gibberish.” 

“It can’t be though, it seems obvious, I mean, really, the talk about magic and daylight and trolls?” He takes the phone back and stares at the image as though burning it into his mind. He shudders. “And I think it was painted in blood.”

“I don’t know. There’s enough teens in this city who’d use pig blood to play some sick joke. But if it’s not a joke, what do you think it is then?” Zoe pinches the bridge of her nose, thinking. He looks up from the screen and shrugs. 

“A prophecy?” Archie suggests. “Nimue may have been the oldest oracle, but there have been some since.” 

“Whatever it is, I don’t think we should just forget about it.” Douxie’s complexion has gone even paler. 

Zoe nods. “How did you end up down there, anyway? It’s not exactly like those blocked off tunnels are easy to get to.” Douxie chews his lip. 

“That’s the part I don’t understand either…” He shakes his head and looks to Archie. “I just felt...drawn to it, I guess. I know that doesn’t really make sense. But it felt like some sort of magic down there. The storm cleared a path to it and we just kept going.” 

“That’s suspicious.” Zoe rolls her shoulders and presses on her spine, popping a few joints, uncomfortable with the notion. “We can ask Charlemagne tomorrow.”

“You two are going to barrage my father with questions, aren’t you?” Archie says, brushing up against Douxie’s legs. But there’s no malice in the familiar’s voice. 

“Probably. But lucky for us, I know he’s happy to talk all day. That is, if I can separate him from you,” Douxie jokes. 

“When it inevitably happens, please do. I’ll meet you back inside, the kettle is on and Nari still doesn’t like the gas stove.” Archie crosses the rooftop quickly and ducks behind the door. 

Douxie turns back to Zoe, reaching out for her hand. “Tea?” 

“I...actually kind of wanted to talk. Just for a minute,” she adds, on seeing his nervous look. “Oh, gods, I’m sorry, shouldn’t have put it that way.”

“No, no, you’re fine,” he assures, and then breathes deeply to calm himself. She nods. 

“I know that you’ve met Charlemagne, and you weren’t there for long, but,” she looks out to the array of nearby buildings, eyes tracking loosely over them. “Do you think he has answers?” 

“I’m not sure. To be honest, I’m not getting my hopes up. Merlin left me with more mysteries than answers. I’m just picking up the scraps here and there.” He drags a hand down his face and comes away with a smudge of dirt. He rubs it between his fingers with a meditative look. 

“Do you think maybe there’s answers for us?” her voice is much softer now, and somber. He tilts his head, brow furrowing. 

“The time map was destroyed in Camelot’s fall and I don’t have the gift of foresight that Merlin did. We don’t even know what my gift is yet. I don’t know what happens next. I’m afraid we’re on our own, love.” Douxie squeezes her hand. 

Zoe sighs. “Yeah. I know. I just…” her face scrunches up as she suppresses emotions. “I just can’t help but think they’re out there, you know? But I guess over the generations it doesn’t really matter. And I really wish you did have that gift. Would come in handy, when around every corner the Order might lurk.” 

“If you have family out there, we will find them, I promise. And we just have to stay confident that things will go as they should. We’ll find out what my gift is, but I agree with you there.” But his voice is unsteady. 

She meets his eyes and he quickly looks away. _He’s worried_ , she thinks. “Let’s get back inside.” 

He stands with her tug of his hand. But she can’t shed the growing concern despite warm tea and hot food. 

******************************

Nari stands at the bow of the ship, her hands raised up into the air and catching the wind with her fingertips. Her long hair flutters behind her and her leaflike pauldrons shift on her shoulders. 

“Who showed her _The Titanic_?” Zoe asks, a light smile on her face at the delight of the forest goddess. 

“Not me! By Merlin’s beard, Zo, I’m only showing her the more appropriate and happier things. Blaming me for everything,” he sulks, steering the ship through a bank of clouds. At the front, Nari giggles in delight as a misty cloud rolls over them.

“You have to admit, you’re easy to blame,” Archie comments, rubbing lovingly against his wizard’s legs. 

“Arch!” 

“Kidding, kidding.” Douxie _harrumphs_ and focuses his eyes on the horizon, where the clouds have broken and a line of mountains have opened up. 

“Did we really have to go all the way to the Catskills for this?” Douxie holds his staff with one arm and flexes his other, grimacing as it pops. 

“In truth, no.” The familiar grins. Douxie shoots him a glare. “New York City is probably full of usable portals. But, I guarantee that her reaction will be worth it.” He flicks his tail in Nari’s direction. 

Sure enough, Nari’s gasp on seeing the wilderness opening before them is more satisfying than he would have guessed. She lights up and hops on her toes, pointing excitedly. 

“Hisirdoux! Is that where we are headed?” Her face and voice are full of glee and Douxie feels her wave of gentle magic lapping at his senses. 

“I think so.” Beside him, Archie purrs agreement. 

“I told you so,” Archie says quietly. They land in a wide, open clearing in a patch of tall grasses. Zoe helps Nari down, who promptly takes off running the moment her feet hit the ground. Her echoey laughter spreads through the field. 

“I love this place! It is so full of life!” Nari twirls in a circle, her green magic leaping and bounding around her in a swirl of flowery wind. Douxie looks around, noticing a couple rabbits emerging from the grasses and even a deer at the edge of the clearing. _Her magic must invite them._

Zoe bumps Douxie with her shoulder, shaking him from his thoughts. “Think maybe we should leave Arch with her and talk to Charlemagne ourselves?” 

“Honestly, that’s probably one of the better ideas you’ve had recently,” he says. She jabs him hard in the ribs with her elbow. “Ow.” 

“Flying through a hurricane was gutsy and epic and that’s that. Now c’mon, we’ve got some ancient books to read.” Zoe struts off ahead of them and follows the now-dragon. 

Archie leads them to a place where tree roots twist over a large hole in the ground, creating a circular entrance large enough for a couple of people to squeeze through. 

“It’ll likely be a bit of a rough journey down, seeing as this is one of the natural entrances, but once you’re through it will remain open if you ask Dad to fix it. Nari and I will join you once she’s ready. I have to say, I’ll enjoy the sun,” the familiar muses, looking back to the delighted druid. 

Douxie nods. “Sounds good to me. Ladies first,” he says, sweeping a hand to the portal entrance. 

“Nuh uh. You’ve already been down one of these once and I have no idea what’s going on.” She crosses her arms and waits for him to enter it, feet first, much like one would enter a slide. She follows after. 

The breath is knocked from Douxie’s lungs by Zoe landing hard on top of him after the fall. She stands and dusts herself off, offering out a hand. He pulls himself up with it and gingerly rubs his ribs, glancing around him. In the pitch black, he can’t see beyond Zoe’s head.

“Hello there, Charlemagne?” she asks, voice echoing. She holds a palm of bright magic out ahead of her, but the light it casts is absorbed by the shadows. 

“Respectful,” Douxie mutters. She rolls her eyes and swats at him. 

A figure emerges from the dark recesses of the cave and chuckles deeply, a rumbling sound. Douxie jumps and wheels around. 

“Why, Douxie, it’s you again! Oh, and who is this fair lady?” The dragon leans his head down to Zoe’s level and sniffs her shirt. She doesn’t flinch, hands on her hips. 

“Zoe. Zoe Raiden.” Douxie shoots her a look from the corner of her eyes and she gets his message. “A pleasure to make your acquaintance,” she adds. 

“So I take it you are yet another friend of my son’s...you wouldn’t happen to be the one that Archibald was always saying his familiar is sweet on? Come to think of it, he said that Douxie here was hopelessly pining for centuries.” The dragon hums happily to himself, a kind twinkle in his eyes. 

Douxie gasps out. “I’ll kill him,” he grumbles. “Er. Um, I mean that as a joke, Mr. Charlemagne.” 

“Don’t worry, boy,” the dragon says, a grin stretching over his face. “You quite entertain me. And I also could tell simply by your scent on her.” The dragon winks and Douxie flushes bright red, mouth agape. Zoe flashes him a smug look. 

“I like you already,” Zoe comments, and the dragon snorts. 

“Well, I should hope so. I do think myself to be a friendly fellow, despite the stories. Now where is my little shapeshifter?” Charlie sniffs around the room, a brow raised. 

“He’s with Nari on the surface. She’s enjoying the outdoors since we’ve been trapped in the city for so long,” Douxie explains, only having barely gotten back his ability to speak. 

“He’s avoiding me, isn’t he,” Charlie says dryly. Douxie’s mouth twitches into a frown. 

“I don’t think so? They’ll be down soon. He said to have you fix the tunnel?” 

“Already done, little buddy,” Charlie says, smiling. “I’m sure he’s enjoying the sunlight, it’s nearly time for me to get out there myself. Now what are you after this time? Not more ancient draconic, I would guess.”

“We’re looking for answers. We’ll catch you up on what happened after Douxie’s visit,” Zoe starts, moving to shift open a giant book. The pages tumble over themselves in a plume of dust and she coughs. 

“No need for talk. Lean forward, boy,” Charlie instructs. Douxie gulps and bends as though he is bowing. The dragon places a couple of large talons on his head and a warm magic washes over him. 

It’s like watching the events on a sped up track, events and emotions flitting by but hitting with all the same force. Douxie’s fight with the Order, the time trap, his fall and death, his last meeting with Merlin. The recollection of that last memory breaks his composure and he drops to his knees, falling out of Charlie’s talons and landing on his palms. 

“Easy there,” the dragon warns, joining Zoe to help him up. Douxie sags against Zoe, dizzy and unsteady. His stomach rolls and he clutches at his abdomen, trying to suppress the sick feeling. 

“What did you do to him?” Zoe asks, hints of her sharp magic rolling off her. 

“S’fine, Zo,” Douxie mumbles, wiping at his eyes. _Wasn’t his magic. Just...the memories._

“It’s one of my magics, not really telepathy, but similar. I do not know what it would be called for you humans. Clairvoyant? Hmm, no. I can only view the memories.” Charlie shrugs. “Memory can be inaccurate, however, so it’s a limited talent. I also see that I have triggered some unfortunate emotions. Sit and I’ll get you tea.” 

_There’s always tea,_ Douxie thinks to himself, mind fuzzy. Zoe sits him on a stack of tomes and keeps an arm around his shoulder. 

Once the dragon has disappeared around the corner, Zoe takes Douxie’s chin and pulls it towards her, peering into his eyes. Her eyes are impossibly bright and he almost feels as though she sees right through him. 

“Are you actually okay?” 

“Probably, yeah. Just a little tripped up over the whole dying thing still, apparently. Not a surprise.” Douxie pulls away and sets his face in his hands, quietly reviewing that strange feeling. Zoe stays silent, one hand gently working at the ever-present knots in his shoulders. She flips through the open book beside her with her free hand, scanning pages quickly. He’s relieved that she doesn’t press further. 

Charlie remerges with two giant teacups and sets them in front of his guests. “Sugar?” he asks, producing two milk-crate sized cubes. 

“Uh, no, thank you. Sir,” Douxie says, eyeing the tea. It smells wonderful. Zoe declines as well.

“Merlin taught you formalities well, and I do say I wish someone would unteach you,” Charlie says, sipping the steaming drink. “The formal speak has never been my cup of tea.” The dragon chuckles, getting a small laugh from the two mages. _Archie’s probably very glad he’s missing this._

“Apologies. It’s habit.” 

“No matter. So what you seek is information on the Seals.” Charlie sets his tea aside, clearing his throat. “I myself know very little on the topic, but my library is extensive. Most dragons have a hoard; mine is tomes, and dare I say, it’s more valuable than gold. Do you recall if the Order mentioned anything additional, hinted at their next steps?”

Douxie purses his lips, frowning. “They said the Summoning is nigh. Other than that, no.” 

Charlemagne’s face drops. “Oh, my. I am not surprised, really, that this would be their next step, especially if Nari isn’t with them.” 

“What is the Summoning?” Zoe inquires, leaning forward, eyes trained on the old dragon. 

“A ritual to release the spirits of old around the world from their long slumber, in anticipation of the day that the Seals are opened and wild magics can run amok.” Charlie shudders slightly. “It would awaken beasts and creatures the likes of which even I cannot fathom.” 

“And would they cause destruction, or would the Order have any say in it all? Is this a present danger?” Douxie asks, a slight pain in his chest growing as his heartbeat speeds up. He settles two fingers on his wrist, feeling for his pulse. 

“I do not know. I would guess that the Order has little control over them, seeing as how many there would be, and as I said, they’re of wild magic, I do not know if their intentions would be to cause harm. For all I know, they might even protect the magic-wielders of this world.” Charlemagne ponders this for a moment and sips at his tea again. “Though, my dear Douxie, I do not believe even you can escape this one unscatched. The Order will be after you and you have quite a distinct magic signature.” 

“Do I?” But he already knows the answer to this. Even Merlin used to say that the mortals could probably feel his magic. Even over the centuries, fortune-readers and those of other lesser-magic practices would remark on feeling an aura from him, even though that sense was not one they were gifted. 

“Your magic is quite emotionally charged, maybe not so much as Zoe’s here, but you also have a very deep well to pull from. There is something else about your magic that is just more evident. I cannot pinpoint why. Have you discovered your gift yet?” Charlie picks up a nearby book and flips through it, slipping his glasses down to his nose. 

“Not yet.” Douxie begins to feel like he’s shutting down emotionally. He casts Zoe a glance that says everything and she bumps his foot with hers, giving the slightest nod. 

“It’ll come in due time, knowing him, right when it’s needed,” Zoe says, picking up easily for the wizard. Relief falls over him and he lets her continue. “Show me your library, and we can search for a bit. Maybe we can call Archie and Nari down, you’d like Nari.” 

Charlemagne and Zoe wander into a large cave hallway, Zoe giving him one last sympathetic look over her shoulder. He catches her telling the dragon that Douxie will catch up with them soon enough before her voice fades. Douxie slips down to the floor and puts his head against his knees, a headache starting. 

_Why did it still have to hurt? After all this time?_ Even the mere mention of his late master was enough to make him break down. And this place was a painful reminder, too. Losing the most valuable connection to Merlin. He clutches his head and tries his best to focus on his breathing and slowing his pulse again. _Breathe. In, out. Steady. Just like Zoe taught you._

Eventually, after some indeterminate amount of time, he’s regained control and sits up, brushes his hair out of his face. There’s the slight sound of talking echoing somewhere in the long halls that stem off from the sitting quarters. Douxie lifts his staff and uses it as a minor support and limps in the direction of the voices, reaching out to trace Zoe’s magical presence. 

It’s become much easier since they’d finally confessed their feelings for each other. Perhaps it was because that was the one last wall held up between each other, or simply that magic is emotion and, as Merlin had said all those years ago, love is one of the strongest. Douxie barely has to reach out to sense her. And not only that, but he can feel her present emotions if he pays close enough attention, much like how he and Archie can sense the other’s moves and emotions since they’d forged the Familiar bond. Douxie lightly touches on the magical signatures produced by her emotions and analyzes them. Softer than earlier, but focused. She’s engaged in something. 

Douxie reaches a hand out, using a sort of intuitive spell that traces her magic. It lights up the floor in a path of blue dust, taking the leftmost turn. He follows it, hearing the deep rumble of the dragon’s voice becoming audible once more as he wanders deeper into the cave systems. 

“...and so little Archibald got his love of reading. One of my favorite stories to tell of him. But don’t tell him I said so, he’ll refuse to speak to me again.” A hearty chuckle comes from the dragon, followed by a sniff. “Hisirdoux?” 

Douxie rounds the corner and steps into the grand library, a massive room with multiple levels, shelves upon massive shelves of books and scrolls. Zoe and Charlemagne are seated at an ovular table with a few open books and open scrolls spread out before them. Zoe wasn’t really seated, so much as perched on the edge of the table, her feet on the curved stone bench below. As he enters, she looks up. 

His still-open connection to her magic changes, now a very soft and edgeless tone to it that makes his chest pang with fondness. Something trills gently on the line, reminding him of music notes. _Shared affection._ She flushes deeply and he realizes that she’d also opened the connection to him. Both of them shut it in embarrassment quickly. _Of course she’d opened the connection, she wouldn’t have left me alone for that episode. Gods, I love that woman._

“ ’ello,” he says, hoisting himself onto the table beside her. “Find anything?” 

Zoe shakes her head, mouth drawing into a taut line. “No, not yet.” 

“Why don’t I get my boy in here and see if his keen eyes might spot anything we’ve missed,” Charlie huffs, standing and dipping his head, before ambling out. “Oh, the irony…his eyesight is worse than mine!” The dragon’s talon’s click as he makes his way back.

Zoe laughs lightly at the joke, eyes slowly coming back to rest on Douxie. She frowns and tugs a scroll out from under him. 

“You know, this thing is probably as old as you are,” she comments, smoothing a crimped edge. 

“Since when did you care about these things?” he prods, smile returning. He places his chin on her shoulder and skims the text of the smaller book she’s holding. 

“I’ve only spent a millenia being berated for how I treat books,” she replies, sticking her tongue out.

“It wasn’t berating, just...heavy, stern advice.” They both laugh, leaning into each other. They fall into a comfortable silence, cheeks pressed together and sharing warmth. Douxie reads over her shoulder, but soon enough his eyes flutter and shut. _Maybe a quick nap would be nice…_

“Doux, look at this.” He startles, tensing and jumping away. “Oh, sorry. Dozing off with important work at hand?” 

“You know I didn’t sleep last night,” he mutters. She glances at him from the corner of her eyes. 

“I know. Neither did I.” _Aye, she spent the restless hours awake with me. But she also had an energy drink this morning._

“I’m trying to limit my caffeine intake, love,” he replies with a yawn. “Can’t say I’m enjoying the side effects.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Anyways, look at this,” she says, running a finger over a line in the book. “Wasn’t that a line in the prophecy? ‘Rented souls’?” 

Douxie leans over her shoulder, eyes tracing the words. “Yeah, it is, but that could just be coincidence-” 

“I’m not sure. I originally thought that maybe by ‘rented’ souls it meant like, possession? But maybe not, maybe it means like souls that have been torn from their bodies, or something else…” Zoe shrugs. “Could even be a double entendre, really. But read the sentence, it’s so out of place, the rest of this passage is talking about natural magics.” 

“ ‘A medium of high caliber might be able to access communication with those outside the planes of the mortal undead and instead be able to call upon the rented souls of magical spirits, a process that does not fit into the natural or unnatural magics.’ ” Douxie sits back, a hand against his chin. “Still don’t get the whole ‘rented’ part, but maybe what you’re saying about them being torn has something to do with it. Nari did once say the Order would rip my soul to pieces.”

He laughs uneasily. Nari had informed him after the event that she'd been perfectly serious about that statement. He shudders just thinking about it, a nervous bounce picking up in his leg. 

“Yeah...I suppose it’s one part of the puzzle coming together. If this is really a prophecy, it might do us some good to try to find the Oracle who wrote it.” Zoe sets that book aside and uses a scroll to keep the pages open. Douxie cringes internally. 

“And I suppose we find a medium, too?” Douxie asks. 

“I already know one, you’ve met her before. She’s in Boston now, actually. Remember Tara, in that cafe outside Arcadia?” 

Douxie nods. “Yeah, I was rude to her like twenty years ago.” 

“...yes, but that’s beside the point. Anyways, she’s a practiced medium now, it’s more her speed. I’ve kept in touch with her enough, she’s who I’d go to.” Zoe pulls a larger book onto her lap, opening the cover and placing half the book onto Douxie’s lap. The book bumps slightly on his antsy leg. Zoe’s face flashes with a tiny bit of annoyance but she says nothing. 

“Whatever works at this point, I’m just glad that we’ve got some leads,” Douxie says, translating the Latin on the page before him. It’s nothing useful, just more history. 

Loud, quick steps echo down the hallway and a breathless Archie and Nari burst inside, Charlie on their heels. The larger dragon wears a face of confusion, while his son’s ears are pinned back and his face frozen. 

“Douxie, Zoe, come quickly,” Archie pants, a streak of fear running in his golden eyes, “the Order is here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the cliffhanger, this chapter was getting a little lengthy and I thought I'd split it up before it ran off without me. I feel like I'm just cracking the surface here, but it is definitely developing and I really enjoyed exploring more of how magic works, and I promise there is more magic-worldbuilding in future chapters for sure.
> 
> Also, the “you’re easy to blame” thing was something told to me by a coworker this past summer and I haven’t forgotten it since - it was just joking and all fun but for some reason I really saw Douxie in it, and I realized I’d been holding onto that to write at some point lol.


	11. Deep Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fight or flee? With the Arcane Order, it's not much of a discussion; it's always both. It's never possible to get away unscathed...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know there's a lot of Zoe in there, sorry, I just think her action scenes are a lot of fun lol. Next chapter is probably mostly Douxie. So it appears I’m just going to keep switching perspectives in the fics. Oh well, lol. It’s more fun this way. (I meant more angsty, hehe) also, don’t forget(I have a lot of fun deciding on the titles!!), all of these chapter titles are songs, this one is Deep Water by American Authors.

“Finally, a real fight,” Zoe says, sparks jumping off her knuckles as she cracks them. Nari tenses. 

“Zo, I don’t think you understand. This is the Arcane Order we’re talking about, they killed me once.” Douxie now paces the end of the room, one hand in his hair. “I can’t believe they’ve found us, here of all places. Charlie, can you tell if my wards over us are still in place?” 

The dragon cocks his head and appears to listen intently. “I’m not sure. But your energy and magics are drained; it would be reasonable to think the wards have weakened.” Zoe curses under her breath. 

“Well? The ship is out there, we need to get back to it, it’s our way home, unless your portals could get us back to the city,” Zoe says, standing and drawing her wand. 

“I’m afraid that the locking spell that keeps this portal open still lasts another hour or so before needing to be refreshed, and I cannot close it as it’s not my magic. All I did was gently suggest to the natural magics to keep it open, and so it will be done. You could flee through another exit, but I fear that unless you go out there, they will come here.” Charlemagne lifts his glasses and sets them on the fluff above his head, stroking his mane with a paw. 

“Real selfless, Father,” Archie says, flicking his tail back and forth. Charlemagne’s ears pin back in irritation but Douxie steps between them. 

“Arch, he’s got a point. We can’t risk all of this,” he gestures to the grand library, “getting destroyed.” 

The familiar’s tail whips back and forth, but he nods. “I suppose not. So do we fight?” 

“It’s a huge risk,” Douxie says, resuming his path between the table and the shelves, turning on his heel to repeat it. “But we need the ship back and we need to divert their attention. _Not_ a fight.” 

“Then it’s a risk we take,” comes Zoe’s confident voice. “The ship is a lot faster than theirs, right?” 

Douxie makes a contemplative noise. “Mostly, yes, but they’re individually more powerful than us. They could take the ship out before we even knew it happened. The ship isn’t that far out. Archie, were they just arriving? Or are they like in the field?” Douxie asks. His familiar leaps onto the table. 

“They were still a little ways out, that ship moves really slow when they’re not chasing. But to effectively even attempt to avoid them, we need to leave now.” Archie turns to look at Nari, who grimaces, knowing just how well her former siblings? Family? could follow after them. But in her mind, they aren’t really siblings or family. Especially not after what she’d learned from Douxie about what family really is. 

Zoe moves to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “We’ll get out of this, Nari, we always do,” Zoe says, voice unwavering. 

Nari simply nods, expression remaining the same. Douxie moves and neatens the books up on the tables, his eyes wide and hands trembling somewhat. Charlemagne’s face is a mix between concern and fear. Nari takes stock of the emotions at play here, feeling an awkward uneasiness in all of them. 

“We must move quickly,” she says in the pause, but none of them give her words more of an acknowledgement than a flick of their eyes. 

Douxie is the first to break the silence. “Alright. So. We get out there, run for the ship, and fly away from here as fast as we can?”

“That’s all we can do, really. We can’t risk getting hurt, and you and I are exhausted so magic is decently drained. And I’m guessing you don’t fight, Charlie,” Zoe says, not really asking anything. Archie’s eyes narrow a little as he watches for his father’s reaction. 

“No, I do not,” he confirms. The old dragon blinks a few times and looks away, almost appearing ashamed. Nari wishes that she could properly comfort him. It is okay in her mind to not fight. Afterall, that’s basically the same vow she herself lives by. Douxie gathers their little group and leads the way back to the main sitting area, producing his staff in a flash of blue. 

“Well? We’d best be going. I’ll visit you soon, Father,” Archie says, flying up to bump his forehead against the older dragon’s, and then ducking out through the tunnel they came in. Douxie salutes him and they all follow suit. 

***********************

Getting to the ship wasn’t the hard part, Zoe thinks, as Douxie tosses Nari up onto the deck and vaults himself over the rail. The hard part was going to be outrunning them. The Order’s ship is significantly smaller than it was before. And faster because of it. The fiery ship looms only a quarter mile away. 

“Alright, Archie, you be watching Nari unless I say otherwise. Zoe, on the offense. Please don’t attack unless provoked. I’ll fly us and be defense. We’ve got this. Just got to get out of here.” Douxie breathes deeply and sets his shoulders, gripping his staff tightly and lifting them from the ground with significant speed. 

“Where are we going?” Zoe asks, twisting at the metal components of her wand. 

“I’m going to pull a little trick, and get us aimed directly behind them. We won’t head back for the city until we know we’ve lost them. That is, if everything works out right.” 

Zoe nods. “Alright.” Douxie looks over his shoulder, making steady eye contact with his familiar for a moment, before tearing away and rocketing them across the sky. Zoe watches his body language, unsure what knowing look was passed between the two. 

They reach earshot of the Order’s ship quickly. “Wizard!” comes a booming, amplified voice. “You run straight for us. Finally giving up Nari?” 

Skrael looks down on the group, holding up the bladed staff with menace. Douxie doesn’t reply, continuing to keep his eyes set on a point below the hovering castle. 

“We’ll shoot you down, boy,” comes Bellroc’s grating voice. “Foolish one. Even your master didn’t make it in the end. We knew you didn’t die. There was only so much hiding from us you could have done.”

Douxie grimaces, and sends the ship into a nosedive, pulling it under the crags of rock making up the underside of the Order’s ship, and past it. Zoe grasps the rail of the ship tightly as her balance is greatly skewed, clenching her jaw as the gravity increases suddenly on the jolt back to level. 

“I thought you could fly this thing!” she complains, throwing him a grin. He rolls his eyes and ducks away from a chunk of ice screaming for their heads. “On it.” 

She turns, arms skyward, a charge of electric magic raising the hairs on her arms. She levels her arms and swirls a rune into the air, and directs the magic at Skrael, who stops it with a nonchalant blast. _Alright. So we’re gonna play the hard game now. I can do that._

Zoe spreads her fingers into the air at her sides and grips at what looks to be empty air. But she can feel the pockets of natural magic she’s tapping into, to avoid depleting her own reserves. On a sunny day like today, however, that meant there was seriously less for her to reach for. _But it’s enough for this._

With a grunt of effort, a rain of small bolts attack the enemy ship, the windows shattering, forcing Bellroc and Skrael to take cover underneath a shield. But the ship is catching on them fast, and from what it looks like, the little ship they’re on is at its max capacity, likely hindered by the icicle jammed into the underside. 

“Douxie! We’re not going to make it! Need a new plan,” she warns, firing and breaking up more shards of ice before they can land on their vessel. 

“I need a boost!” Douxie shouts over his shoulder, hair whipping around his face. His one hand is on his staff steering them, and in his other, a growing ball of flame. 

“What for?” she yells back, electric magic crackling over the ice bridge Skrael had cast out towards them. It shatters and falls to the field far below. She sends a massive bolt flying for the Order’s ship, but it’s deflected. The bolt shoots for them and Zoe regains control of it at the last second, sending it screaming for the ground. Nari ducks back, a flare of her green magic sending a curl of roots over her head in defense. 

“Just trust me!” The magic in his hand has grown beyond controllable, the mass of writhing energy larger than his torso. Zoe is staggered by an ice spike grazing her arm, making a clean cut across the surface of her skin. She clamps a hand over it and reaches him despite the rocking of the boat and places her hand over his bracer, focusing on channeling the magic to make it accessible to him. 

“Douxie, be careful,” she warns, meeting his eyes. He nods curtly and the ball of magic shifts, becoming a whirling purple color now, sparks flying off of it. His eyes close in concentration, mouthing words under his breath. 

_What in the world is he trying to do? Blast them out of the sky? We’ve got a better chance of blowing ourselves up in the process._ Douxie’s eyes snap open, glowing blue and the magic shoots out ahead of them in a heavy stream. A spike slices into the hull of the ship, sending them spinning through the air and dislodging them from their footing. Douxie’s spell evaporates as his focus goes. Zoe tumbles across the deck and throws her arms over her head to avoid being crushed between Douxie’s larger form and the cabin. 

“Archie!” Douxie shouts, sitting up and tossing his staff out to his familiar. “Get us on a straight course, I don’t care what direction!” 

The dragon catches it easily and hovers before stabbing the base into the holder, gripping it firmly and sending the boat keeling sideways. Nari gasps as she rolls across the deck, curling into herself tightly. Douxie meets Zoe’s eyes for a split second and she feels his signature colliding with hers with the force of a truck. She does everything she can to make it say, _I’m okay_. He accepts it and throws himself to Nari, wrapping himself around the little goddess, his shield protecting them from a barrage of flames pouring down to the ship. The fire begins to lick the metal, spreading in a way that defies any natural laws. 

_So they really are something completely unworldly. It’s unnerving._ Zoe shudders and drags herself to the staff. 

The wizard ushers Nari into the ship’s cabin, closing and sealing the door behind her. Douxie manages to get to his feet and rejoins Zoe and Archie. He takes her hand this time, fingers woven with hers, and points their hands directly ahead of them, resuming the chant, the magic streaming from their fingertips. Zoe gasps as she feels it taking a significant toll, but she grits her teeth and lets her magic follow Douxie’s will. 

The purple magic tears a rift into the sky before them, flickering wildly, it’s edges shifting and warping. Zoe nearly releases herself from his hand out of instinct, but something tells her that her contribution is all that’s making his plan work. 

“Steer us through!” Douxie calls to his familiar, his face twisted in agony. Zoe feels the magic pulling her down hard, threatening to collapse her. 

“Douxie! It’s unstable!” Archie says, wings beating harder to keep him up in the crosswinds they had flown into. Another spike of ice narrowly misses their heads. 

“I said get us through!” Douxie’s voice is commanding, but it isn’t cruel or rude. If anything, it’s tinged with panic. 

“This isn’t safe!” Zoe says, tightening her hand around his. She meets his eyes, trying to feel for his magic or detect his emotions, but he’s frustratingly closed it off. “Whatever this kind of magic is, it wasn’t meant for this.” 

“It’s our only option. We can do it, love,” he grunts, eyes never leaving the rift in the sky. The inside looks like just the sky all around them, maybe just a few shades darker. “It’s not big enough to fit through.” 

Zoe understands what he’s trying to say. _Put everything into it._ She shifts so she stands in front of him, back against his chest, placing her free arm onto his staff, and drops any semblance of a dam welling up her magical reserves. It’s like the air has been sucked from her lungs and she gasps for air for a moment before looking up again. 

The portal flares and grows slowly, but they’re nearing it by the second. 

“Now or never!” Douxie says, straining hard now to keep the portal open. Douxie’s pain becomes Zoe’s, the completely open connection meaning that nothing is spared between them. Every ache and bruise in the other’s body, the sheer exhaustion, and somewhere buried in all the effort, their own bond and connection. A barrage of emotions hammer down into her mind, many of them not her own. An ache, nostalgia, memories of loss and hurt. _Those are Douxie’s. Oh gods, his pain. There’s so much._

But hidden even deeper under the current agony is something resembling a fierce love, determined and unbreakable. Zoe wishes she could explore it further, but between the current emergency at hand and the unrelenting push of their shared pains, it’s impossible to pinpoint again in the maelstrom of emotion and magic. 

Archie presses forward hard. Tears stream down Douxie and Zoe’s cheeks, both of their magical reserves only moments from depleted. More slamming of ice comes from the rear of the ship but Archie holds them fast to the course. The portal flickers worse and a blinding flash splits the sky as the ship dives through the portal, the collapse of the portal shearing off the last foot of the boat. 

The ship tumbles down though the sky and Zoe suddenly feels weightless, the deck of the ship disappearing from under her. Douxie’s arms clamp around her waist as they fall, pulling himself around her as much as he can. 

_My stupid, selfless moron,_ she thinks to herself, as it’s clear, from the pain crossing his magical signatures, that he’s absorbing most of the damage. Archie’s wings beat frantically and he transforms larger in a puff of yellow above them, a sight Zoe can barely see over Douxie’s arm. The ship jostles suddenly with the familiar’s newfound strength. Douxie and Zoe are flung from the ship’s deck and sent into free fall, both of them clenching harder at each other, if at all possible. She squeezes her eyes shut and presses herself into his chest. 

_I really hope you know what you’re doing._

They hit the freezing water with a stinging splash. 

**********************

Douxie feels her panic first. 

Her fear claws at the inside of both of their minds like a caged animal, scrambling and anxious. She holds him tighter, restricting his movement and pinning his arms to his sides. He curses internally, attempting to fight her grasp to no success. He goes still and spends a fraction of a second debating his next moves. 

_I can shut the connection to her so I can actually think and figure out what to do, but she’ll freak. Or I leave it open and try to communicate with her._ There’s no debate. He steels himself and moves to feel her signature in full. It’s scattered and hard to trace, like trying to catch wisps of smoke. 

_ZOE!_ he shouts out in his mind. She stops thrashing as hard, but he knows telepathy isn’t something they’ve reached or established and it’s rare enough as is. All she’d felt was his outcry, probably a flood of extra concern. _Likely didn’t help._

He changes approaches quickly, trying to focus on his heartbeat. They’re running out of air and he knows he can’t summon the magic for an air bubble. _I just need her to calm down enough to drag us back to the surface._

Douxie goes as still as possible and does his best to think of a calm memory, something that will clash with Zoe’s racing thoughts of dark depths and flickers of pale faces. He recalls a sunlit hillside, above a vineyard somewhere in Italy, standing beside her and Archie. _There were grape-stains in our clothes from that little playfight. We ran through the rows while the farmers slept in the shade and tried to keep our laughter to a minimum. Archie was left behind and had to find us from above._

Her grip loosens but it’s still not enough. She needs to give in, and they’ve only got seconds. _You were beautiful, standing there, hair full of twigs, holding the grapes like you were some goddess. I know you can’t hear this. But feel it, please. I loved you even then, Zoe._

Zoe’s arms fall away from him just enough. He slips away from her arms and shifts, putting an arm under her shoulders and kicking back towards the surface as fast as he can. He realizes with a pit forming in his stomach that it’s much further than he’d expected.

As if on cue, some large, smooth creature slips beneath them. Douxie grabs it’s fin, making sure Zoe is firmly held in his other arm. His mind begins to get fuzzy at the lack of oxygen and it takes everything to just keep himself calm for her. 

They break the surface in a massive splash. The dolphin beside them is night-black, it’s eyes yellow and glowing. He clicks happily, an odd sort of grin forming on the familiar’s face. Douxie gasps and hauls Zoe onto Archie’s sleek back, where she splutters and chokes out, clinging tightly. 

“Oh, gods, good timing,” Douxie says between gulps of air. Zoe’s chest heaves with unsteady breaths. 

Archie-the-dolphin chitters happily. “Why thank you. Water is much more tolerable in this form, if I do say so myself.” Zoe shivers, stroking Archie’s sleek skin. 

“You alright?” Douxie searches her eyes, finding a strange hollowness. She’s shut herself off to him once more, and he’s almost relieved that he’s alone in his head. But he feels guilty for the thought right after. _Of all places I had to drop us…_

“Will be. S’okay.” She shakes her head, not meeting his eyes. 

“Get her to the ship,” Douxie says, pushing his familiar away and treading water. “My staff is somewhere out here.” Archie bobs his head and skims away. 

Douxie extends an arm, trying to activate his magic in his hand. A faint blue flicker is all he earns for his effort. _Need to let it recharge a bit._ “Archie!” he shouts. 

The dolphin’s nose pokes up, and he dips back into the water, diving under the surface and reemerging at Douxie’s side. Zoe in the distance watches from the deck. 

“Yes?” His familiar rolls in the water, his white mark on his chest a stained patch of skin. 

“I’m going to need your help finding my staff, I can’t seem to call it,” Douxie says, rubbing the dolphin’s pale stomach. “It’s probably in the process of sinking.” 

“We’ll get it. Take my fin,” Archie instructs. “And hold your breath.” 

“Yes, yes, I know,” Douxie says, and grabs onto his familiar’s back tightly. Underneath him, the dolphin suddenly shoots downwards, at a speed the wizard couldn’t have fathomed. For a few moments, he squeezes his eyes shut, but remembers he needs to be searching. Archie clicks and whistles and squeaks, a set of mesmerizing sounds even underwater. 

Douxie extends his arm and searches for the staff. It’s a type of magic that feels like part of him, and so it’s not hard to tell they’re getting closer. Archie squeaks out more, and Douxie gets the idea he’s noticed the staff too. Archie speeds up and Douxie catches the shine of the stone in his staff. He summons it again, and this time, it shoots to his palm. Archie beneath him rockets for the surface. They break the water, hit immediately with the cool ocean air. They hop across the waves and make it back to the boat quickly. Douxie dismounts almost sadly and pulls himself onto the wing. 

Zoe offers him a hand as he drags himself onto the deck, a trace of pain crossing her features. Archie leaps from the water and transforms back in midair, landing beside them. Douxie glances around, trying his best to take inventory of the damages done. 

There doesn’t seem to be any leaks, but it’s also clear that the ship is far from in it’s full working condition. One of the wings is half-torn off, the rear of the boat full of cannon-ball sized holes, the rail broken in many places. It doesn’t seem to be taking on any water, and Douxie thanks his ingenuity years ago for that unsinkable spell he’d struggled with for a year to put into place on it. _If only the Titanic had one of those, huh._

He leans against the cabin, hesitantly eyeing Zoe sitting beside him. “I’m really sorry. For all of that. It was stupid to think we’d be safe going out, and leaving the city. I put too much trust into my magic, I shouldn’t have. It was too close, and now, we don’t even know if we’ve done enough to keep Charlemagne safe.” 

Zoe tips her head back against the wall, eyes closed. Her hair sticks to her face, her shirt clinging to her skin. Her makeup is smeared around her eyes, but it’s obvious she doesn’t really care. Her jaw is clenched hard.

“That was extremely risky of you. I cannot believe you even managed that, I mean seriously, portal magic with just your wizard’s magic, and I distinctly remember you failing with shadow magic. Granted, we’re not really where we want to be, but still,” she says, gesturing around her to the endless blue of the ocean. “I don’t know. It doesn’t make a lot of sense.” 

“Didn’t manage it alone.” He clenches at his chest, feeling his muscles screaming out. But internally, he admits that he doesn’t understand it, either. _That shouldn’t really be possible for me. For us._ Yet another thing to bring up later. 

“Yeah, I know. Don’t think I could even use a minor telekinesis spell if I wanted to. You’re welcome,” she says, rubbing tenderly at her temples. He gives her a sympathetic look. He’ll talk to her about all of this mess later. 

“Thank you.” He wrings water out of his sweatshirt, but throws it aside, huffing in annoyance. _If there were any magical reserves left, I’d dry us off._ He looks to his familiar who now is sitting and licking at the wet fur on his chest, and does a quick headcount. _Wait._ “Nari!”

The little deity emerges from the cabin, looking rougher around the edges, but mostly unscathed. “Hisirdoux?” She crosses to him and gingerly reaches up and touches his chest. 

“I’m fine, Nari. You good?” He peers down into her shining eyes, seeing all the worry. 

“Yes. You are not fine. Your magic. You have used it all. You must be tired,” she says, a warmth emanating from her fingertips. It’s soothing and he’s half tempted to ask her to use her magic to give him back just a small buffer from his exhaustion, if it weren’t for the dangers.

“Yeah. Just somewhat.” Douxie goes to pull away, but Nari holds him fast with an arm. 

“It was my fault. My presence. I used my magic, just a little...they were able to trace me to it. Your wards were not strong enough, and I knew...I just thought…” Nari averts her eyes. Douxie places his hands gently on her shoulders. 

“No, no, don’t say that. We’re okay now, anyways.” Douxie draws her in, looking over her horns and out to the darkening sky. The faint daylight flickers away, leaving only the falling night. Nari shivers, pressing into the crook of his arm. “We’ll be fine, ladybug.” 

“I think I’ll call Claire,” Zoe mumbles, tugging her phone from her pocket. The movement elicits a sharp gasp of breath from her, but she says nothing. Douxie narrows his eyes and Zoe waves him off. “There’s no other way out of this.” 

“Yeah. Just...tell her to be careful.” 

Zoe nods, opening the ziploc baggie her phone was sealed in and types in a few numbers, lifting the device to her ear. 

“Hey, Claire. It’s Zoe. Yeah. How’s it going?” Zoe is quiet for a minute, but Douxie can’t pick up whatever Claire says on the other end. “Well, we’re sort of in the middle of the ocean. Some stuff happened and we need some help getting out of here.” 

Zoe pulls away from the phone and looks to Douxie. “Are we bringing the whole ship out?” 

“We have to.” Douxie wouldn’t hesitate to leave it in an emergency, but the parts of the Heart of Avalon woven with its technologies are too valuable and dangerous to leave behind if they can feasibly bring it back. “Tell Claire I’m sorry.” 

“He says we need to get the whole ship out. And he says he’s sorry.” Zoe laughs. “Uh huh. I’ll tell him that. Yeah. See ya in a bit, thanks.” 

“What’d she say?” Douxie presses. 

“She said her teach ‘had better not make this a regular occurrence.’” The witch tucks her phone away and leans back again, wrapping her arms around herself. 

“Yeah. I’m not trying to.” Douxie sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “We’ll make better plans in the future, I promise.” 

A few minutes pass before Claire drops onto the ship, her armor clanking loudly. She bends slightly, clearly a little bit of energy sapped from her. Douxie guesses by that alone, they must be somewhere in the southern Atlantic at least. 

“Jesus Cristo, what did you guys do to this thing? Sea monster?” Claire asks, walking across the deck and gesturing to the damage. 

“Sea serpent is the general term,” Archie corrects. “But no.” 

“So what was it, then?” The young witch turns, frowning. “Oh, no. The Order.” 

“Yeah. They traced us outside of the city.” Douxie shoves a hand through his hair again. “We’re ready to go whenever you are.” 

“Alright. Hold on, you guys. Are we headed to the apartment?” Claire pauses, arms outstretched. 

“Yeah. We need to get back. Hopefully our magic being way out here is enough to divert them for a while,” Douxie decides, turning and gripping what’s left of the ship’s rail. Zoe does the same beside him and Archie latches onto Douxie’s back, engaging his claws uncomfortably. Nari grabs his arm with a fierceness he had only seen in her a couple times before and he attempts to send her a smile. 

“Here we go…” Claire rips a portal open and pulls it over the ship like a cloth, all of them vanishing into the darkness. The sea quickly fills the spot they’d just occupied, no traces of them to be had but a few small bits of debris floating away. 

***************************

The ship lands in Central Park, tearing a long gouge through a field and sliding into a nearby pond. Zoe is aware that this is a bad development, but she’s more focused on not letting go of the railing to think about that yet. 

Claire stands first, stumbling to get her footing on the bobbing ship. “Is everyone okay?”

Douxie nods, letting go of Nari. “Yes. But we need to get this thing on our apartment building. Park isn’t really a good place for it,” he says, looking around. A couple of late passerbys begin to take notice. “Quickly.” 

Claire grunts. “I’ll do my best. It’s been a while since I’ve tried transporting something this size, and as far as I just did. It’s not gonna be a smooth landing.” 

Zoe says nothing, and remains holding the rail. She’s getting a bit disoriented and dizzy. _A funny feeling._ She almost laughs as the chill of the shadow portal passes over them again. When they land, Claire has put them down completely still, surprising all of them. 

“I suppose that went over better than I hoped,” the young witch says with a shrug. Douxie reaches out and helps his familiar and Nari down off the ship, Claire leaping down beside them. Zoe picks her way through the broken rail and slides down the wing, pushing away Douxie’s offered hand to help her. 

“Are you alright?” Douxie asks, hanging back to join Zoe. Claire leads Archie and Nari through the rooftop entry. 

Zoe puts a hand on his arm and pats him gently. “Yeah. M’fine.” He makes a sound of uncertainty, but continues down to their apartment. Douxie opens the door for them all and motions for Claire to join them. 

“You’re welcome to stay for dinner. You’ve earned it, and you need some rest before you hop across the country again. Thank you so much, again,” the wizard says, hugging Claire with an arm. 

“Aw, thanks. I don’t mind sticking around.” Claire smiles and seats herself on a stool nearby. “Zoe? You really don’t look so good.” 

Zoe smiles. “I just fell into the ocean, I’m sure my makeup is a mess. Not to worry.” _Hmm. A nice little nap would be nice. And a warm, cozy bed…_

“That’s...not what I meant. Let’s sit you down-” Claire starts. Douxie sends her a worried glance that says a lot of things. Zoe ignores it. 

She shakes her head, a thick exhaustion dripping over her consciousness, tinged with…pain? “No, no, I’m all good…” 

Zoe’s knees buckle under her, giving way, a comfortable wave of darkness enveloping her before she can even register the fall. Her mind settles peacefully.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, yeah. That's another cliffhanger, ain't it. Oops lol. I'm trying to keep chapters around 5k word installments each, it seems to be that's my sweet spot so when you gotta spot it, you just gotta lol. The word count on this one is 5050 lol, you're lucky you got those extra fifty words. (JK. I know I've already uploaded a 10k word chapter, nothing really matters. And I'll stop blabbering lol.)


	12. Secrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things have changed, and fast. No one quite understands what's happening anymore but it's vital that they keep quiet about it with the Order fresh on their heels. There are secrets to keep, and others to unearth before it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song title goes to One Republic this chapter, a fun one because, coincidentally, this song was used in The Sorcerer's Apprentice(2010)! A great movie, and it takes place in NYC so that's a neat lil connection. Anyways, fluff and kinda tropey first scene and I have no regrets. Slightly shorter chapter because the next scene will be too long, lol.

“I’m looking for a Mr. Casperan?” 

Douxie snaps alert, jumping up from the uncomfortable hospital chair and searching out the source of his name. His eyes land on the nurse standing in the doorway to the waiting room, holding a clipboard in his arms. 

“Hi, yes, that’s me.” Douxie takes a step forward before wheeling around to grab his coat and a thermos. “Is she-” 

“She’s fine,” the nurse says, shaking his head. “We still couldn’t pinpoint exactly what was wrong, but it looks like severe exhaustion, low blood pressure, low iron and the superficial injuries. Needed some stitches, but nothing major. A variety of things, ultimately.” 

“Yeah.” Douxie’s mind races, hands still trembling despite having known for several hours she was perfectly stable. “Is she awake?” 

“She’s been in and out of consciousness, she was put on a few drugs for the pain. Surprisingly no broken bones. Shouldn’t be long before she’s up and talking again.” The nurse turns down a few hallways and stops at a desk to talk with another staff member. Douxie taps his fingers against his arm and leans on the wall, feeling his chest clench up. 

“Is that the patient?” the woman at the desk asks, pointing to Douxie. Douxie frowns. _I know I’m probably a bit scratched up still but really. Can’t be too bad, right?_

“Oh, no. But he does look rather pale. Worried about the young lady, huh?” The nurse gives him a sympathetic smile. 

“Yeah.” _And I haven’t taken my meds in over a day. That probably has something to do with it. Or eaten properly since breakfast yesterday. Oh gods, they had better not tell Zoe that I’ve done nothing but sit here this whole time. What if they already have? Oh, fuzzbuckets._

“C’mon, she’s right this way.” The nurse directs him down a long hallway, past a few empty rooms, before reaching a series of rooms that are less filled with beeping electronics. The nurse opens a door and gestures to let Douxie in, checks a few things and exits. Douxie stops short in the doorway. 

He couldn’t quite say Zoe looked any better or worse than when he’d last seen her, but she looked a lot more comfortable and less ghost-white. The lights are dimmed in the room, a gentle sunlight pouring in through the window. Her thin frame looks impossibly thinner under the flimsy hospital gown, a decent amount of bruises coloring her skin across her arms and face. _Thank whatever gods that smile on me that they believed the ‘she passed out walking down the stairs’ story. Don’t know how I would have explained it all otherwise. She still probably had to answer a million questions to confirm it wasn’t me or someone else who did it. Can see that going over well._

“Douxie?” Her voice is small, cracking as she speaks. She scrunches her nose, slowly dragging a hand up to her throat. 

“Hey, love.” Douxie grabs a chair and pulls it up on the side of her without all the cords and such, dropping the coat over the back of the chair and seating himself, knees hitting the bedframe. 

“So I fell down the stairs, huh.” Her face is less than amused and he cringes. _It’s only what, forty years since that hospital trip? She actually did fall down the stairs, busted herself up pretty good. I got an earful about leaving socks laying around after that._

“You blacked out. Claire and I got you here as fast as we could.” Douxie takes her hand gently and presses her knuckles to his forehead. “You have no idea how worried I was.” 

“Actually, I’ve got a pretty damn clear idea,” she mutters, closing her eyes again. “I could hear you being anxious a mile away.” 

“Yeah, yeah. How’re you feeling?” 

“Like shit.” Zoe turns, laying her head facing him, eyes still closed. He gently brushes her hair from her face. 

“I’m sorry. Overexertion, seems like.” He leans down, pressing his forehead against hers. 

Zoe nods. “Yeah. Overexertion. They say anything else?” 

“Not to me, not yet, anyways. They’re still trying to confirm that I’m your emergency contact and all. They...didn’t really believe me at first.” Douxie heaves a sigh, scooting his chair back so to rest his arms on the bed and put his head down. 

“How long’s it been?” Zoe is still barely conscious, and it seems her attention wavers each time she speaks, highs and lows of speech like cresting waves. 

“A little over twenty-four hours. I’m not entirely sure, my phone’s been dead for a while.” Zoe pulls her hand away and swats at him. 

“Lemme see it.” 

“What? No, no you’re not charging my phone when you literally just dropped from exhaustion. And you think I’m stubborn,” he scoffs, taking her hand back. 

“You are stubborn,” she mocks, eyes fluttering in amusement. He presses his lips to her knuckles. 

“I know. You’ve told me that a lot over the past nine centuries.” 

“’m tired,” she mumbles, dragging his hand to her chest. “Miss you.” 

“I’m right here. Painkillers are really doing a number on you, huh?” He smiles, watching her face curl into various confused expressions. 

“It hurt. Everything hurt. It doesn’t hurt now, and that’s good.” 

“That is good.” 

“Douxie?” 

“Yeah, Zo?” 

“C’mere.” 

“I am here.” 

“No. Here.” Zoe grumbles something, a couple indistinct expletives leaving her mouth. She pats the bed with a heavy and sluggish hand. 

“I don’t think they’d like that very much, love,” he replies, brushing her hair back again. It’s still messy and tangled, but thankfully dry. He thanks the stars for Nari, who was quick to give him a magical replenish to dry Zoe before carting her off to the ER. Would have made it much, much harder to explain why she was drenched and smelling of the ocean. 

“Please?” she pouts, stressing the ‘L’ and softening her eyes. Douxie sighs. _It’s rare she’s ever like this. Granted, it’s drug induced, but still._

“Really shouldn’t.” He sighs. Against his logical side, he kicks his sneakers off and slips onto the hospital bed beside her. “And I don’t have to say it, but you know damn well I can’t say no to you.” 

“I know,” she says, then as an afterthought, “thanks.” She nestles into his chest, draping an arm over him. He tugs the sheet up and over her shoulders, hoping that this isn’t that bad of an offense to the already overworked staff. He presses a kiss to her head and closes his eyes, feeling so much less worried now. She’s soon asleep again. And while he can’t sleep, he can relax, running his hands through her hair delicately. 

_Another year, another adventure. Just these past few months has been more than enough. Makes me worry some, for what’s yet to come._

*************************

“So you’re telling me they performed impossible magic?” Claire sits perched on the counter, picking away at a pack of Oreos. 

“By all the natural laws and confines of the realms, yes, it should be well outside the boundaries of possible. It was in no form shadow magic, either. I’ve never seen anything like it. And if not impossible, it should have killed Zoe at the least,” Archie replies, frowning. “She doesn’t have any of the extra support for her magic to be carried like Douxie does.” 

“You mean his gauntlet and staff?” Claire holds a hand in front of her mouth as she talks, small crumbs spilling. 

“Yes. A conduit. Zoe has her wand, but doesn’t end up using it half the time unless she’s looking for precision, things like working on small pieces of computers. Her magic is naturally sourced, but differently than Douxie’s is.” Archie’s ears go back. “I just don’t understand. A portal.” 

“Well, it happened. How badly hurt will she be from it?” 

“Remains to be seen. She’s not dead or dying, though, that much we know. She’s astonishingly persistent, so I wouldn’t worry too terribly. She got the plague and survived, you know,” Archie says, joining Claire on the countertop. 

Nari shivers nearby, wrapped in a thick blanket. She feels shaken still despite the chase having been just over a day ago. “Zoe is not well. But she is strong, and will recover.” 

“Yes. She will,” the familiar agrees. “He has gone an awful long while without saying anything, hasn’t he?” 

“Last text was yesterday, yeah. ‘Feed Archie and Nari for me please and help yourself to the fridge.’ And since then, radio silence.” Claire strokes the cat beside her, shaking her head. “He’s probably fine. Doubt he’s sleeping though. That reminds me, did he tell you he nearly died of caffeine withdrawal when we got stuck in Camelot?” 

“No!” Archie hisses. “Of course he didn’t tell me, he would have gotten a right earful. I always told him it was too much. Hopefully they have even some Lipton’s at the hospital, as much as he hates the stuff…” 

“Archie,” Nari pipes up again. “Has Douxie showed any signs of his gift?” 

“Not that I’m aware of. I know it’s frustrating him,” the familiar sighs, leaps off the table and presses into Nari’s cocoon of blankets. He purrs softly. “Don’t worry about it. He’s made it this far, and we already know he’s plenty powerful as is. It just makes me wonder, how did they pull off that portal magic? Because seeing from how badly it drained both of them, it couldn’t have been his gift.” 

“I am not sure. But with Zoe’s contribution, they tapped into a magic I have not felt in a very, very long time. Something about their connection. In potential, it surpasses that of even history’s most revered mages.” Nari’s hand rubbing the underside of his chin goes still. “It could be incredibly dangerous.” 

“As I suspected.” Archie settles into the couch, licking a few small wounds on his legs. “And the two of them are the right combination to do something stupid and get killed.” 

“Have a little faith in them, would you?” Claire says, now pouring herself a glass of milk. “He’s gotten our asses out of trouble way more times than I can count.” 

“That had better not be the whole milk,” Archie grumbles. “And yes, I know, but as Douxie’s familiar it’s my duty to worry. Not that he doesn’t do enough worrying for all of us…” 

“It is okay,” Nari soothes, a gentle hand coming down on his flank and smoothing his raised fur. “They will be fine. I must think more on this strange magic, though. I do wish to figure it out.” 

“Luckily for us, it seems you have plenty of time for that. Nari, would you get the news on?” Archie asks, purring sweetly. 

Nari smiles, lifting the remote and switching through the stations before coming to land on a more local channel. 

“And coming to you live from Central Park, reports of a UFO and a strange mark in the ground…” the news anchor says, screen switching to a view of the park. 

“Wait, is that…” Claire says, peering over the back of the couch. 

“Yes. Don’t worry about the ship being spotted on the roof, the roof is cloaked anyways because Zoe and Douxie use it for sparring and other magical endeavors the apartment doesn’t have room for.” Archie flicks his tail. “News is surprisingly late, I wouldn't be shocked to learn if the government already had a hand in it. Luckily they have no footage of us. We moved fast enough.” The anchor babbles on. 

“Any information about who might have caused this damage can be sent to…” Nari turns the volume down. 

“I feel bad. We harmed some of what little nature lives in this city,” Nari says sadly. 

“We could go there, to repair it, if you’d like,” Archie suggests. “Not until things have died down, obviously, but soon.” 

Nari nods. “I would like that.” Her smile doesn’t last long, however. The little goddess frowns, breaking into a coughing fit. 

“Are you alright?” 

“Yes. But the air, it...it tastes awful,” she complains, lip curling. She clenches her hands. “Like the outside.” 

“Douxie and Zoe’s filtration spells must have failed with her lack of magical input, and since he’s been gone for so long. It’s alright, just means that we deal with less-than-optimal air quality for a bit,” Archie explains, his own nose twitching. 

“Huh. So wait, if the air filtration spell has failed...does that mean the cloaking spells have too?” Claire asks, her brow furrowing. 

“Oh no,” Archie breathes. 

*************************

Zoe wakes with a strange stiffness in her body, a general ache that clings to her very bones. She shifts, instinctively reaching for Douxie, finding his hand tangled in hers already. Everything in her mind is hazy and uncertain. She opens her eyes, finding the wizard slumped in a chair beside the hospital bed. 

_Wasn’t he with me up here? Or did I dream that? Hell knows._ She shifts upright, carefully removing her hand from his and rubbing at her crusted over eyes. A thick drowsiness only just wearing off clings to her consciousness, leaving her to trudge through her thoughts. 

_What even happened to me? I knew I was tired, and hurting, but it couldn’t have been that serious. Could it? What even was the magic we were doing? It wasn’t shadow magic._ She rolls over and groans as an assortment of bruises throb across her torso. _Didn’t get out so lucky, huh._

“Miss Raiden?” 

“Hmm?” Zoe’s eyes flick up to the doorway, where a vaguely familiar nurse stands. 

“Looking better by the hour. Resting well?” she asks, moving to the monitor next to the counter. 

“More or less. When can I leave?” Zoe reaches out to brush at a cut on Douxie’s cheek, but stops herself at the sight of his relaxed face. 

“We’re holding you at least another six hours, making sure you’re stable.” The nurse shuts the door gently, the lock barely making so much as a click. Zoe frowns. 

“Should I be concerned about this?” Zoe’s hand goes to Douxie’s, silently praying that if whatever this is turns nasty, he has some magic to draw on. The former grogginess vanishes under the newfound adrenaline. 

“No, no,” the nurse comforts, pulling her gloves off and seating herself in the remaining chair. “I know about your kind, and had a few questions. Might help us figure out how to properly help you.” 

“My kind?” she says, biting back a raised voice. _Shit._ “I look pretty damn white, don’t you think? Don’t think that bringing up race is necessary.” Zoe allows herself to recall the many protests and riots she’d attended in the Civil Rights movement, and now again more recently, her heart hurting for those who still are injusticed on the daily. She knows it’s not what the nurse is talking about, but to any passerby in the hallway, it might sound less suspicious. 

“There’s no need to play games. My sister is one.” The nurse smiles softly but Zoe can’t shake the discomfort of the whole situation. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. And even if I did, there’s no reason I would talk to you about it, is there,” Zoe warns, a small tremble starting in her fingers. _Why am I afraid? I shouldn’t be afraid, I’d kick her ass._

“You’re a witch,” the nurse says, pointedly. “And he’s a wizard, too, isn’t he?” 

“I don’t need to disclose anything,” she hisses. Something rubs her horribly wrong about all of this. First, the Order discovering them, Douxie being able to create some unstable portal with the help of her magic, and then promptly passing out due to gods knows what effects of straining her magical bandwidth. And now a nurse who claims to know about mages. 

“Then I can’t help you. My job is to help people and even just a few answered questions might make it that much easier,” the nurse pleads now. Zoe sinks into the now stiff and unforgiving bed. 

“I’m fine. I’m alert and conscious and within a day or two I’ll be back to normal, just a little beat up around the edges. Thanks for your concern, however.” Zoe huffs and turns her head to the window. 

“In that case, why don’t I help you up so you can go wash your face, take a shower?” The nurse stands, shaking her head, resuming a formal voice. 

“Alright then,” Zoe complies, dragging herself into a sitting position and moving slowly. The nurse reaches out to help her up, and Zoe swats her away. “Do not. Touch me.” The woman backs away, observing from close enough that if Zoe were to fall, which she _would not_ , she could be caught. 

She grits her teeth and makes her way to the curtained bathroom off the main room, ensuring in no simple terms, that she would be fine to do this herself. Zoe pauses once the curtain is closed, listening for the sound of fading footsteps, but the nurse goes nowhere. _Fine then. But if you so much as touch him, you’re dead,_ Zoe thinks, allowing her mental barrier to drop. Douxie’s signature is nothing more than dull radio static, but she knows that the moment he wakes it’ll jolt with energy. 

Pulling away the thin hospital gown, she surveys whatever damage their flight had caused. Other than the bruises and scrapes, she looks mostly fine. Weirdly fine. Last time she’d been to a hospital, she’d broken her foot whilst kicking a goblin(who knew those things were susceptible to steel-toes?) and putting the foot through the creature and into the brick wall behind it. Even she wasn’t sure how she’d managed it. The doctors had been astonished by just how many healed fractures and breaks were in her leg, for a supposed twenty-three year old. 

Zoe turns slowly, peering over her shoulder to inspect her back. It’s then she notices a line of stitches, probably a good five inches in length, crossing over her spine. The wound pulses faintly, noticeably the same rhythm as her heartbeat. She frowns, watching the ebb of purplish color around its edges. _Yeah, that’s not strange at all._

A feeling like a surge of electricity bolts up her spine and a gasp slips between her teeth as the wound pounds harder. 

“Hey, Douxie,” she says, not bothering to turn around. His shadow passes over the curtain as he comes to lean on the wall outside the bathroom. 

“Doing alright?” he asks, voice steadier than she’d expected. She listens as he squeaks his shoes against the tile. _Always scuffing up those damn shoes._

Zoe stares at the stitches and the wound again, and bites her lip. “Yeah, feeling a lot better. Gonna shower, I’ll be fine.” 

“Alright. I’ll be here if you need anything.” 

“Go get something to eat, or tea, I don’t know. I’m fine,” Zoe assures him, lifting a brush and tugging it through her hair. 

“I don’t know, I’d rather be here.” Zoe sighs. 

“Let’s play a betting game. How long has it been since you last ate? I’m willing to bet fifty bucks it’s been over twelve hours.” 

There’s a long moment of silence from him, then an annoyed grumble on the other side of the curtain. “Fine. But I will be back as soon as possible.” 

“Mm hmm.” Zoe waits to hear his footsteps going, a second pair joining him; the nurse. Satisfied, she turns on the water and steps in once it’s warm, small injuries crying out. She lets herself relax under the stream, willing herself not to think about explaining whatever that was on her back to Douxie. 

_It’ll all be fine, right?_

***************************

Archie stands trembling in his human form, willing himself to maintain some air of composure. Whether he’s anxious because Douxie isn’t here, or that they’re about to be found out, he can’t really say. And he worries that he’ll sneeze at the wrong moment and instead of a respectable human, there will be a small, panicked cat sitting at their feet. Before him is a startled conference room of a few mages, with varying degrees of surprise written on their faces. 

“I really do apologize to bother you,” Archie starts, ears twitching, an uncomfortable movement as a human. “But myself and my wizard familiar are in need of your assistance.” 

“You’re that boy’s familiar, aren’t you? The one who broke in here a month ago?” asks the tallest, a glaring witch. “We’ve kept an eye on you all.” 

“...Yes. I am. Both of them are currently...out of commission, and unless you’d like magical secrets in this city to be unearthed rather soon, I’d suggest you come with me.” Archie’s voice is confident, certainly not matching the fear he shakes with. 

“What mess did you get yourselves into?” pipes up another, a twisted grin on their face. He scowls in return. 

“If you must know, the Arcane Order is loose and actively searching out magical beings. That would include yourselves. We know your location, and it would be in your best interests to cooperate with me at least this once to protect any magic-users here, and your own secrecy.” Archie crosses his arms over his chest breathing deeply. None of them answer, instead looking to each other with hesitance in their eyes. 

“Fine. But just this once. What do we have to do?” the tall witch says finally, now appearing to be the leader. She matches Douxie’s description, as well. 

“...I didn’t think it would get this far,” Archie blinks in surprise. 

“Don’t push your luck,” the leader growls. 

“Right, right. This way then, and fast.” Archie gulps, breathes out, and crosses his fingers as he leads a handful of mages from the building. He can only hope that Nari is right about these people. 

******************************

“Nari, do you think there’s anything you could teach me about magic?” Claire asks, legs politely crossed as she sits beside the forest-child. The couch creaks as Nari shifts. 

“Perhaps. But I do not...I am not fond of Shadow Magic. I know the natural magics.” Nari shakes her head sadly, lifting a hand and producing a few sprigs of garden herbs from her palm. She plucks the lavender from the bundle, grinding it between her fingers. It disappears into a wispy green magic, trailing about the room and filling the air with it’s soft scent. 

Claire breathes in deeply, the smell reminding her of that little apothecary’s shop she’d visited on errand for Morgana. There had been a little old lady at the front, with a kind, soulful smile and rough hands, eyes that told tales of centuries. The lavender in particular catches her thoughts because there had been a young woman in the back room, diligently crushing up the herb. 

“You recall a memory, I see,” Nari says with a knowing smile. “You did not know it, but that girl was Zoe.” 

“Wait, really? I mean, I haven’t asked about her history.” Claire tips her head, intrigued. “Did that older woman teach her?” 

“Perhaps. That is not your memory or mine to know. I only see yours because you are here. This is a spell for memory and calm, rather simple.” Nari lifts a second sprig and places it delicately into Claire’s hand. “Crush it, and search for my own.” 

Claire does so, the small bits of smoke trailing off her hand purple in color. The scent is different this time, with a touch of petrichor. Nari stands in pouring rain, eyes trained on the gray skies. In her hands is lavender, rosemary. From above, a large castle descends, shaped like a skull. 

“Join us, sister,” Bellroc shouts. “It is warm and dry here. We’ll give you refuge.” 

Nari shakes her head, disappearing into the undergrowth. Claire shivers as she feels wet branches slipping over her arms- Nari’s arms? -and the chill of growing night. The memory fades. Claire frowns, studying the sad look on the little goddess’s face. 

“That was one of a few nights I tried to leave the Order. They found me the next day, of course. It took more than a couple attempts to leave without their noticing.” Nari’s face has fallen somewhat. “I do not miss them. But they feel like some part of me. It is strange.” 

“That’s fine, Nari. No need to worry about it. We can focus on different things,” Claire suggests. “Thank you for showing me that.” 

“It is very, very basic natural magic, but an interesting one. It would not function if I had not helped to lower our magical barriers to the other, however.” Nari lifts the remaining herbs and gets up from the couch, grabbing an empty vase and settling them inside it. “Another day, I can teach you more.” 

“Alright. That sounds great.” Claire dips her head slightly, mind still going back to the two memories they’d shared. Briefly, Claire wonders if Douxie had interacted with that past Zoe at all, or if he’d kept to himself for the time being. It’s a question to ask for another day. “Can you tell where Archie is at?” 

Nari focuses, closing her eyes. “He’s headed this way. And with a few of the hedgewizards. He will be here soon. Douxie and Zoe…” she trails off, a look of concern flashing over her face. 

“What is it?” Claire presses, leaning forward. 

“Zoe. She’s...afraid. Scared.” 

“Well, I’d be too, if I passed out and ended up in the hospital.” Claire relaxes some, glad to know it’s just the usual things. 

“No. Zoe is very, very rarely scared or afraid. This is not good,” Nari explains, clasping her hands together as she’d seen Douxie do many times. “When they return I will ask.” 

Claire nods, confused. “Well, I suppose whatever works. I’m going to make some coffee. You interested?” She stands and heads for the coffee pot, disconnecting it from the stand and filling it with the filtered water from the fridge. 

“No, thank you.” Nari shivers once again, drawing her legs up close to her chest. She sets her chin on her knees and closes her eyes. She focuses on the hum of the city, trying to listen into the numerous souls and natural magics that live in the most unsuspecting of things. 

But her mind is brought back to Douxie again and again. His signature is slightly pained, unsure, hesitant. It feels off. And for Zoe to be feeling so much unlike herself, well, it worries Nari. She hasn’t known them for long, in the face of things. Nari has existed for thousands upon thousands of years longer than she cared to fathom. But she knows them well enough from their short time together to realize that there is something distinctly not right. She cannot find any comfort in Douxie’s magic, not this time. Familiarity, yes. The near-constant anxiety runs deep, and his mind still races with frequency, leaping between threads of different thoughts. Nari still can’t pinpoint it, but something isn’t right, and she can’t shed the discomfort not knowing brings. 

Nari settles deeper into the little nest she’d created on the couch, trying to instruct herself to breathe easily as Archie had taught her to do for Douxie. She calms, imagining the way the Eternal Forest breathes and sighs like a whisper, slowly drifting to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I know I really didn't clear much up at all, lol. It's a-coming, in due time. I’m just trying to figure out my timeline better so I know what frame I’m working inside. Don't worry too hard, and much thanks to you all who are still sticking around because it's really picking up speed now.


	13. Fire and Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Some say the world will end in fire,  
> Some say in ice.  
> From what I’ve tasted of desire  
> I hold with those who favor fire.  
> But if it had to perish twice,  
> I think I know enough of hate  
> To say that for destruction ice  
> Is also great  
> And would suffice."
> 
> ~ Fire and Ice, Robert Frost
> 
> (the title is still a song title btw, I just thought this poem was rather fitting. I didn't want to write a summary lmao)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that after this Chapter, there will be actual plot development stuff, I swear. I say that a lot, don't I. Also, if you haven't already, I highly recommend that you go read [ _Wish Upon a Star_](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731923) because it's going to become important material towards Zoe's character development and this chapter makes a few links.

Douxie blinks a few times, pausing to question the sight before him. Not only is Archie looking terribly exhausted in his human form, but he’s standing beside the very woman who had threatened Zoe and Douxie some time before. And down the apartment hallway from them are three other mages, quietly talking to themselves. 

“I’m dreaming, right?” Douxie asks no one in particular. Zoe beside him raises a brow and pinches his arm. He yanks back, scowling. “Ow?” 

“Hm. Not dreaming, unless you lucid dream or something...actually, that’s not a valid test of whether it’s a dream at all,” Zoe offers, shrugging. Douxie throws her a half-hearted glare. 

“You did that knowing it-”

“Oh, be quiet. But no. It’s not a dream.” She crosses her arms over her chest, a less-than-friendly look falling on her face. Douxie steels himself in preparation to stop her from attacking the hedgewizards, if it comes to that. 

“Archie?” he calls out. “What’s all this?” 

His familiar turns at the sound of his name, a growing smile on seeing the wizard. “Douxie!” 

Archie half jogs over to them, relief plastered to his face. “Zoe, are you alright?” Zoe rolls her eyes. 

“Yes, I’m perfectly fine.” But Douxie notices how her eyes find the floor instead of Archie’s. For now, he decides it’s best to let it slide. _So many damned things are going on the ‘ask later’ list._

“We’re good for now, but mind telling me what all of them are doing here?” Douxie inquires, a hand pointed out in the direction of the other mages. Archie pulls his glasses off and cleans them on Douxie’s borrowed shirt he wears. The odd part is that Archie can and does choose to shift into a shape already adorned with clothing, but he has a strange tendency to take Douxie’s things instead. He supposes it makes sense, with how much he enjoyed curling up on the wizard's clothing in a cat form.

“Well, you see, the wards and cloaking spells all went down with the lack of your and Zoe’s present magic to power it. And Claire is not practiced enough to have powered them on her own, so I called in backup.” Archie replaces his glasses and beams at his familiar. Douxie licks his lips anxiously. 

“I don’t know. I don’t trust them all that much,” Douxie says, eyes trained on the tall witch. She catches him watching and sends a sharp look back. “But I do trust you, and it will have to be enough, won’t it?” 

“Afraid so, old pal,” Archie agrees, raising the back of his hand to his mouth, tongue part way out before stopping himself and grinning sheepishly. “Oops. Habit. We’ve agreed to a truce, for the protection of the city.” 

“Well, thank you Arch. You seem to have taken care of things quite well and I applaud you for that,” Douxie says, throwing an arm over his familiar’s shoulder and mussing his hair. Archie attempts to push him away, getting tackled in a bear hug from him instead. Archie cuffs him gently, a small cat-like growl escaping him. The two playfight for a moment before Zoe breaks it up. 

“Okay, okay, that’s enough now, can’t have you two getting hurt on my watch,” she grumbles. “You can do this later. Right now, I think that reliving Claire of her duties watching Nari is in order.” 

“Yes, right, of course,” Archie manages, panting a little. He offers his hand to Douxie and pulls the wizard to his feet. Douxie bumps his familiar's shoulder with his own, and Archie rolls his eyes, adjusting his glasses.

“Why don’t you two see the hedgewizards off, and I’ll talk to Claire?” Zoe suggests, opening the apartment door. Douxie notes that she looks exhausted. Rest could do them all good. 

“Sounds good. Thanks, love,” Douxie says, giving her a kind smile before joining Archie and moving down the hall. The door clicks shut behind her and Douxie sets his shoulders, prepared to be interacting with some less-than-friendly folk. “Uh, hello there.” 

The tall witch takes a couple steps forward and dips into a slight bow, surprising him. The others behind her follow suit. 

“Ahh, thank you,” he chuckles, having almost forgotten his dramatic moment a couple weeks prior. “I just wanted to thank you all for stepping in here, and assisting my familiar. I greatly appreciate it.” 

“This isn’t for you,” the leader grumbles, eyes sharp. “It’s for the city and for my people.” 

“Still. It means a lot. In the future, is there a name I should thank you with?” Douxie offers a hand out and the witch takes it with a strong grip. 

“Matilda, but it’s been a century since I’ve used that name. Just call me Maddie.” He releases her hand and dips his head. _Matilda. Meaning ‘battle strength,’ if I’m not mistaken. I believe it._

“Much thanks to you. May we meet again on better terms.” Douxie does a two-fingered salute and waves them off down the hall. Once he’s sure they’re gone, he rejoins the others in the apartment with Archie- back to his much-favored cat shape -on his heels. 

Inside, Claire dons a rainjacket and pats Nari’s head between her antlers. Nari hugs her, a look of almost unusual maturity on the little deity's face. Perhaps not maturity so much as sageness. Whatever it is, it’s not a look Douxie had seen on her face in a while. Zoe has seemingly disappeared into the apartment but he doesn’t question it. “Thanks for teaching me a few things. I’ll definitely take you up on those future lessons,” Claire says. 

Douxie smiles at the two, stopping Claire before she can turn to leave. “Thank you. I really owe you one, big time.” 

“I’d say you do, but you’ve got so much on your plate already. Maybe I’ll task you with taking a proper break when this is all over. That would make me happy.” Claire hugs him before waving them off and stepping through her portal, no more than a small puff of displaced air in her stead. 

Nari sidles up to Douxie, tugging gently on the edge of his sweatshirt. Worry is etched on her soft features, something that Douxie hates seeing and yet is getting much more used to. “What is wrong with Zoe?” 

Douxie’s brows sink low over his eyes. Nari's concern digs itself deeper. “We were given the all-clear at the hospital. She’s just recovering now, she should be fine.” _Unless she’s not telling me something._

Nari’s face goes dark. “Hmm.” She doesn’t sound convinced, and Douxie tacks it onto the ever-growing list of things he needed to figure out sooner or later. _Maybe I need to start writing it down. Bound to forget if I don’t._

“It’s okay. Let’s get some food. I promise I can't ruin this one because I just need to throw it in the oven. And I am making some real tea, finally.” Douxie grins, turns on his heel, and taps the little goddess on the nose. Nari giggles. “So what did you teach Claire?” 

Nari smiles and joins him in the kitchenette, worries momentarily banished, explaining the events of their day. 

************************

Zoe rifles through Douxie’s clothes, shoving aside a number of tops and finding a sweatshirt of his and yanking it on. It hangs off her, but it’s much better than freezing in anything of hers. She hadn’t really thought about the temperature change and just how vastly different NYC is from Socal. And the smell of it is comforting. 

She throws herself onto her and Douxie’s bed, dropping her arms loosely over her stomach. Her head pounds a little, a feeling that the nurse said would come with the painkillers wearing off. She can’t really pinpoint why things still hurt other than the general bruises and aches. Whatever weird wound was on her back must be contributing to it. 

She gets a nagging thought that maybe this is going to be something that will require magical attention at some point. And not magic that she or Douxie can perform. Mentally, she plots out her list of things to address: 

_-The five inch gash on my back.  
-Keeping tabs on talk in the city. (who knows what that nurse will do with the information she has now)  
-Finding an Oracle for that prophecy. Preferably the same one who wrote it.  
-Talking to Tara about the spirits thing, after an Oracle.  
-Keeping tabs on the hedgewizards.  
-Get Douxie to tackle less problems. _

It’s hardly even half of what she needs to take care of, but it’s something. And now she’s supposed to spend the next two days resting in case she has any more fainting spells. The nurse had admitted they only kept her as long as they did because she had been out for a few hours, came to, and promptly went out again. Which was abnormal, to say the least. But this all means she has the next three days off of work by doctor’s orders. 

She sighs and rolls over, feeling weirdly uncomfortable no matter what she does. It’s like her body itches to move or do something. Or maybe it was that she’d gone over a day without using magic. It’s been centuries since that’s last happened. 

There’s a strange phenomena that happens if a mage who has regularly used magic for more than a few centuries suddenly stops. Some have been reported going insane, tormented by a build-up of unused magic. Magic becomes a part of the mage after so many years of using it. And it’s also a reason that mages letting go of their magic and fading quietly into the background are so unheard of. Most can’t get over that initial stage of stopping, and Zoe gets the weird feeling she wouldn’t be able to do it so easily, like Isabel had. _That old woman was something. In her prime, she must have been one of the smartest witches on the planet._

Zoe attempts to drag herself from her thoughts before she can spiral further into the series of memories. Thoughts of her family, Liam, her mother, Papa and the way he talked about the stars, start to crop up, but she keeps herself from reaching out to think about any of them. _Wish I wasn’t in the city, so maybe I could go look at the stars. Though, there is a spell I could try..._

She extends a hand, swirling her fingers through the empty air. The rune becomes visible after her hand leaves each space, ancient text glowing pink. With a tap at the very center, the magic disperses into the room - and a shock of pain shoots up her spine. She bites her tongue to keep from crying out, and the pain fades, but not the growing concern. It should not feel that way when she uses magic. 

And the magic had mostly worked, though it looked like someone had set it to maybe fifty percent opacity on the visuals. Spread out across the ceiling is a starmap. Constellation and star names dot the surface, thin lines forming the geometric shapes. She realizes that the uncomfortable pent-up feeling is now gone, and that is a relief. She focuses on the sky instead, waving a hand to pan through the scene until she lands on the visual she wants to see. 

Bufo, the toad constellation, hasn’t been recognized for hundreds of years, but it doesn’t stop Zoe from hunting it down in the sky every time she can. She traces the lines with a finger, remembering her distant, fuzzy childhood nearly a thousand years ago 

_“If you use the stars to guide you, you’ll never lose your way. The stars are always correct. It runs in our blood, my little bird,” Papa said, tapping Zoe’s nose with a finger. She giggled, watching her father’s big hands as they marked invisible lines in the sky. “Even if I don’t have magic like you, I have the stars with me.”_

A single hot tear slips down Zoe’s cheek and she drops her hand. The constellation map vanishes and the room is quiet again, save for the radiator kicking on against the baseboards. 

“Zoe?” Douxie calls out, his voice carrying clearly through the small apartment. 

“Yeah?” 

“Would you like to come get dinner?” 

“Yeah.” _He’s using my name,_ she thinks, getting a sense that maybe he’s caught onto the fact she’s not as well as she is claiming to be. Still, she drags herself up and joins them all. Surprisingly little is said the whole time, and after eating, another movie is put on for Nari and Archie, leaving Zoe and Douxie leaning against the counter to talk. 

“So I’ve been working on a list of things that need to get done.” Douxie’s fingers tap, lips pressed together in concentration. 

“Mm?” Zoe raises her eyebrows from behind the mug she sips from, waiting for him to continue. _Since when did we both become all about lists? Gods, I don't want to grow up yet._

“I say we try finding that Oracle next. That’s our best bet. Obviously, it’s going to be a few days before we go out or anything, can’t have you tearing stitches,” he says, nonchalant. 

She nearly chokes on the hot chocolate she’s drinking. “What did they say about the stitches?” 

He eyes her a little suspiciously. “Just that you had some and would need to be careful.” 

“Oh. Right, yeah.” She looks away, trying to still the fear growing in her that he’s going to really lose it if he finds out. “So, yeah. Finding an Oracle in a massive city. Where would we search? Where you guys found the prophecy or?” 

Douxie moves along from it easily enough. “That was my guess, too. Start there, and then work our way around. If there’s still any traces of that magic I felt down there, it’s our best lead.” 

“Alright. Sounds...good to me I suppose.” 

“You doing okay?” Heavy concern has entered his voice and she immediately feels uncomfortable. His eyes are still soft, but prying. 

“Yes,” she says, brushing him off. “I’m just tired. Head feels weird.” 

“Okay.” He smiles fondly at her and slips an arm around her waist, pulling her up against his hip and resting his chin on her head. His eyes look out over her head and to Nari, whose lap is currently occupied by a satisfied Archie. “I’m glad you’re okay.” 

Zoe just wears her smile firmer.

*************************

Mirrors are a reflection of oneself. All the flaws, scars, marks, and details of a person with no way of hiding them. A vampire would not have been able to see themselves in a silver-backed mirror, and might not know just what their own face looked like for centuries, til the modern age of substitute materials. What a shock that first sight would have been, a clear visual, to finally see oneself not distorted by water or haze.

Looking in this mirror now, she feels shockingly not herself. As though she's seeing the reflection for what it is for the first time. Reflections expose a person. They show you who you really are. In some stories, a mirror shows the true self with the veil torn away. Most people want nothing to do with it. And with her head craned around to see her own skin glaring back at her, Zoe certainly can empathize with wishing that other, true self would simply vanish. 

“Bloody balroths, what is that?” 

Zoe whirls around, pointing her hairbrush at the intruder. Douxie stands in the doorway, brow furrowed hard and a betrayed look growing on his face. His hair hangs into his eyes, further shadowing the deep bags under them. 

“It’s just a scratch. What do you want?” She puts her hands on the counter, letting out a sharp breath, leaning over the sink and calming her nerves. _Not everyone is out to get you._

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asks, a streak of pain clear in his words. It stings, worse than any disinfectants in a cut could. 

“Because there’s more important things going on right now, okay? Some stupid little gash on my back isn’t the end of the world, but the Order on our asses sure as hell could be. I didn’t want to worry you about something stupid,” she rebukes, adjusting her top. It’s a low-cut back and certainly doesn’t cover the mark, stitches showing darkly across her skin. She snatches up a nearby towel and wraps it around her shoulders. _If anything, he’ll stop looking at it._

“But you’re hurt, in pain, and there’s clearly something not right about it. That _is_ important and I don’t want to let you suffer. It’s not stupid.” He breathes in deeply, shaking his head. “I know there’s a lot of...stuff going on at the moment. It’s not any excuse to let these things go unnoticed.” 

“It’s not your business to worry about.”

“It’s not my-” he scoffs in disbelief, stepping closer. He almost looks angry, if not for the crease of worry on his forehead. “Zoe, how is it _not_? As your multi-lifelong friend, and your- your partner at that, I think I reserve the right to worry about you, more than just about anyone.” 

“You’ve got more than enough on your plate. You can’t even balance what you do have, I mean look at this! You’re working two jobs, protecting Nari, Archie, and now me, and this whole damn city, and trying to save the world with one hand tied behind your back! Now there's a prophecy, and Claire's involved in this mess again. You barely have time to sleep, let alone breathe. And it’s all crumbling down around you because you just keep shouldering other people’s problems and taking them as your own. I’m not letting you have this one, too,” she says sternly, jabbing a finger into his chest. He lifts his chin and his face twists.

“Whatever that is,” he growls, pointing at her torso, “is more than just ‘another problem.’ That's not what a normal wound looks like. I know it’s much worse than you’re letting on, and if you don’t let someone help, it won’t improve.” 

“And you can’t keep functioning like this! It’s going to get you killed!” Douxie flinches, and immediately she feels ashamed for lashing out like that. She winces, looking away. 

“And the same goes for you, like it or not,” he bites back, a dark look crossing his face. But it softens, giving way to something underneath it. “I want to help you. Please trust me with this.” 

Zoe’s shoulders fall. She turns her back to him, moving to the window and pressing her head to the cool surface. The many floors drop away outside, to the cold and damp street filled with cars stopping and going. People living out normal lives that they would never have. Several moments flit by, filled with only the sound of their uneasy breathing and the faint noise from the outside world. 

“I know you do. And I want to help you, too,” she whispers. And she does. But she doesn't know how. It's never really been her strong suit to deal with emotions and fears besides just shutting them down. She hears him shuffle across the small bathroom to her, stopping short. She glances over her shoulder, just enough to see him standing awkwardly a couple feet away. 

“Can I hug you?” he asks, quietly. She gives him a small smile. 

“Yeah.” His arms slip around her, gentle and careful not to put pressure against her back. She leans into his shoulder, quietly thanking whatever gods look down on her for bringing Douxie into her life, and for managing to keep him there. _Even if he’s a pain and a moron sometimes._

“We’ll figure this all out. We’re just both worried. And it makes sense,” Douxie admits, leaning his head against hers. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

“S’okay. I’m sorry, too.” He sighs, a very tired energy rolling off him. “We really need a break from all this, don’t we.” 

“It would be nice,” she admits. _Hell, it’s almost necessary._

“One day. One day, we’ll get a break. I’m going to figure out wherever the magical hospitals are in the area, if that’s alright with you,” Douxie says, and Zoe knows it’s not a question at all. 

“Fine. I’ll be alright for now, so don’t rush it or anything. Besides. They said to just let it heal naturally.” 

“Yeah, yeah. Will you let me look at it?” Douxie asks, stepping away. She misses his warmth immediately. 

Her eyes narrow for a moment, but she gives in and shifts the towel. His fingers trace lightly around the edges of the gash and he makes a low _hm_ in his throat. The feeling of his touch and what’s likely his magic makes it feel slightly irritated, but it’s not a lasting sensation. 

“It’s odd. I’m guessing it hurts. Anything else weird happening with it?” He meets her eyes, as though searching for honesty from her. 

“Just hurts.” And it’s a lie. But the moment she admits that magic was making it worse, is the moment that he would prevent her from doing any. She’d go insane if that happened. 

“Alright.” He yawns, stretches his hands high over his head, and presses a kiss to her forehead. “I’m hitting the hay. Early shift. Coming with?” 

"In a minute."

She smiles softly, mumbling a goodnight as he leaves. But she still spends a while by herself, staring at the weird pulsing wound on her back and wondering just what will become of it. 

**********************

Nari tosses and turns in her sleep, burying her face into her little nest, small whimpers coming from her subconsciously. An arm curls over her head protectively. Beside her, Archie’s ears pin back as he’s jostled and kicked. He distinctly recalls how a young Douxie used to do exactly this while they lived in little spots curled up in hidden corners of alleys. Luckily, he still recalls the best tactics. 

He stands, stretches, and presses his head into her side. Nari jumps, another sharper squeak. Archie sighs, and threads himself through her arms, purring deeply. Her arms clench around him tightly, small fingers digging into his coat. He grunts and shifts to try to get comfortable again. 

Nari gasps and sinks her nails deeper into his fur. A flood of magic crashes into his mind and he’s jolted from the little pile of blankets and pillows on the floor to a nightmarish scene. 

_Tongues of flame surround him- no, **Nari** -licking at her as though trying to get a taste. The blaze rages high into the night, the world around her engulfed in heat and anger. A jagged laugh echoes out from behind her and she whips around, a trail of ice leading out of the fire and up into the sky. Nari scrambles up it, feet slipping in her desperate attempt to flee from the hungry fire. _

_“Look at how far you’ve fallen,” trills Bellroc’s wavering voice. Nari shudders, drawing her arms in close to herself. Her heartbeat is erratic and fast in her chest. “Come back to us, sister. It is not too late.”_

_Nari has reached a level where the ice spans out, Skrael standing before her with an extended thin hand. Below them, the fire burns higher, the oppressive heat a terrible conflict to the chill of the ice below her bare feet. Nari pants, nose twitching._

_“Besides. It is your fate, to rejoin us one day. The end of the world will come whether you wish it or not. There is no stopping it,” Skrael’s voice grates, sounding as though it’s right inside Nari’s ear._

_Nari shakes her head violently, baring her teeth. “That is not true. It is a lie. It is not true.”_

_Bellroc appears next to the icy god, their tall staff tapping on the ice. The sound reverberates in her very bones. “It is true. You know this, Nari. We have already initiated the Summoning, with no help to you. All we need is your cooperation. Make this easy,” they sneer, crossing to her. Nari jumps backwards, landing on all fours and skidding back towards the edge of the frozen platform._

_“Look at you. Like some scared animal. Come back to us. Be a god again! Feel your power! It is here, it is all around,” Skrael laughs, a flurry of snow falling and beginning to blind Nari. The chill burns as much as the flames would, cutting into her skin._

_“Embrace it!” Bellroc shouts, their voice echoing. Everything is shockingly bright and nothing but the awful white is visible anymore, the other two gods vanished into the growing blizzard._

_Nari’s eyes widen in terror and she raises her hands above her head as massive icicles and flames descend at once, screaming down for her--_

“Nari! Nari! Wake up!” 

Archie and Nari are wrenched from the nightmare simultaneously, heaving for breaths. Douxie hovers over them, concern written all over his face. Archie is the first to throw himself into Douxie’s arms, Nari following close behind. She clutches at them, shaking and trembling. Archie practically smells her fear seeping off her like incense. 

“Archie, I am so sorry. I did not mean to bring you into the dream,” she whispers, burying her face into his fur. “I am so sorry.” 

“It’s okay, Nari. It is not your fault. Are you alright?” the familiar asks softly. Douxie lets out a relieved sigh, and it’s now that Archie notices just how fatigued he is. Large, dark bags hang under his bloodshot eyes. He glances over the wizard’s shoulder and sees Zoe, pulling herself up and watching them with half-open eyes. She scowls intensely, either at being woken or at whatever this had been, Archie doesn't know.

“I will be. I am so sorry,” she repeats, a series of tremors hitting her again. Douxie holds them closer, a gentle hand stroking Nari’s hair. She begins to calm. “B-Bellroc and Skrael...they can dreamwalk. They have an artifact that allowed us to do so. It only works within the members of the Order to communicate with each other at a distance. They said they began the Summoning.” 

Douxie nods somberly. Archie presses back into Nari, still somewhat shaken from how vivid the nightmare had been. He wants nothing to do with another one of those ever again, but there's no way he's abandoning her when she's in need of comfort. 

“So they can only dreamwalk with you?” Douxie asks. Nari tips her head from side to side. 

“Yes. Or so I believe. I had presumed that it was destroyed when their ship fell.” Nari pulls away to meet his eyes, and Archie can sense her sorrow before she even speaks. “I accidentally pulled Archie into the dream with me, but it was not as though he was physically there. He experienced it as myself. I endanger you all. I am sorry.” 

Douxie frowns, biting a lip. “It’s okay. There’s gotta be some way to block it, right?” 

Nari nods. “Yes. But it is ancient magic. Almost entirely lost to time. They cannot harm anyone in dreams, not that I know of. And they can't use it for very long.” 

“Alright. Okay. We’ll be all fine. You need to rest, and I really need some sleep…” Douxie rests her back down and helps tug the blankets back over her, patting her shoulder before rising and returning to his own bed. Archie curls back into Nari’s side, purring a little louder than usual. Nari's hand trails over him repetitively, soothing the both of them. But he can’t help but overhearing Douxie and Zoe’s quiet murmurs before they tuck back in. 

“Is that going to be an issue for us?” Zoe’s voice. More exasperated than anything, but from the sound of it, annoyed at the world. Archie can empathize with that. 

“I seriously hope not. I can’t take anything more, you were right about that.” 

“I know I am. Come here.” There’s the sound of blankets ruffling as Douxie shifts into her arms, his voice becoming muffled. 

“I’m so tired.” 

“I know.” 

The two of them drop off, Archie slowly drifting to sleep with a much more calmed Nari resting peacefully beside him. But that nagging voice in his head persists. 

_How long until this all comes crumbling down?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I seriously thought all errors were taken care of but I'm still seeing a few here and there. Just disregard it. I may come back later to fix them, we'll see. Thank you all, as usual lol. If you're interested in my "I reached 150 pages of Saudade" notes collection, hop on over to tumblr for some laughs - [Saudade Notes](https://unexpected-possibilities.tumblr.com/post/636142767536553984/because-i-need-something-to-cheer-me-up-heres), also a few extra tidbits in there for future works. Hope y'all are doing well.


	14. On My Own

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The search continues for a way to decipher the prophecy, though it seems it may be time for a little bit of nothing for this tired crew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title comes from On My Own by Ashes Remain, a song that is best fitting if you listen to the lyrics and not go just by the title. Also some personal significance to me but moving on, I think it's applicable.
> 
> Also, I don’t have power today and likely won’t for a while, so I’m just crossing my fingers that this posts on my data and limited service. Blasted snowstorms. Half the state is out. (Scoots back under blankets as soon as this is posted.)

Nari winces and flicks water off her foot, shaking it a few times, beginning to regret refusing to wear any shoes. She sighs, a human expression she is growing particularly fond of, and places her foot back into the nasty sludge again. She is aware that it won’t hurt her, but the texture of the cold slime is repulsive. 

Archie flaps alongside her, keeping himself perfectly clean and dry and refusing to set down for anything. Whilst Nari could float and avoid all this trouble, it seems rude to do so while her friends have to suffer. 

“How much longer?” Nari asks, doing her best to keep a tinge of annoyance out of her voice. This place is cold, dark, damp, and generally nasty. The sun has never shined in these awful tunnels and all that lives here are rats and mold. And she does not want to be here. But Douxie had insisted that she come along for the sake of her safety. She understands that. 

“Should be getting there soon, right Arch?” Douxie asks, turning and facing her while still walking. Backwards walking. It concerns Nari, mostly because there are a great many creatures in the world that are not very good at it, and she has seen the wizard fall a number of times. 

“Right,” the familiar answers, speeding up a little and landing on Douxie’s shoulder. Douxie tips precariously but remains upright, much to Nari’s surprise. Behind her Zoe makes a low sound of disgust. 

“There was no faster way to get down here?” the witch grumbles, wiping a hand on her leg. 

“Ah, well, there _was_ but the repair and construction workers have it all taped off and I thought best to leave that alone. Don’t need to attract more attention than we already do. Just a few more turns I think.” Douxie’s strange optimism keeps itself plastered to his face. Nari attempts to find something redeemable about coming down here. But even the chance to get out of the apartment isn’t enough to even remotely enjoy this little venture. 

“Of course,” Zoe grumbles, flipping her hair out of her eyes, hands extended in front of her as to avoid dripping on herself. Nari empathizes with how much the pink-haired witch’s aura reeks of irritation. She curses a few times, not so quietly. 

“Zo, please,” Douxie hisses, pointing his chin at Nari. Zoe rolls her eyes. 

“It is okay, I understand that she is just airing frustration,” Nari attempts to assure him. “It is healthy, is it not?” 

Douxie stops walking and blinks a couple times, eyes coming to rest on Zoe, who shrugs. 

“Did you teach her that,” he deadpans, mouth curving into a slight frown. Zoe smiles uneasily. 

“I dropped some books on my foot the other day, she asked…” Zoe huffs when his expression remains relatively disappointed. “It’s not like I was teaching her swears or anything.” 

He makes a face of mild frustration and turns on his heel and keeps walking. If it weren’t for Zoe’s slight smirk, and Douxie’s relatively nonplussed reaction, Nari would have interpreted this as a moment of conflict between the two of them. But she feels for their energies and it seems as though all is well. Douxie is just very, very tired. 

They finally make it to a drier section of the tunnels where their feet are out of the muck, a railing on one side reassuring Nari that she won’t fall in. A short set of stairs takes them up to a metal door protected by an electric pinpad. 

Douxie steps away from it, a hand sweeping through the air in front of the door. “Would you care to do the honors?” 

Zoe rolls her eyes and steps forward, placing her palm against the keys, light enough not to activate any of them, Nari notices. A small _zap_ sound comes from the lock, the glowing numbers fading away. Zoe grimaces. 

“You have broken it!” Nari exclaims, rushing over to see it better. Indeed, the electronics are fried and a bit charred on the edges. It looked quite like how the TV remote did after it had managed to get put into the oven some months before. 

Actually, if she thinks hard enough, Douxie had stored it there to keep it out of reach of Archie as a punishment(some form of media he had chosen to watch in Douxie’s absence wasn’t approved by the wizard. And though Archie could have chosen to shift forms, Douxie had been right in guessing he would not.) He’d forgotten to remove it when preheating the oven the next day. 

Needless to say, it had taken Nari and the familiar a bit to get him to stop apologizing. Annoying as it was, the TV was still usable by the buttons on the side and posed no real issue. Not long after, Zoe showed up to the apartment unannounced and fixed a great many broken things lying around. Point being, Nari doesn’t think destroying things is going to be very helpful. 

“That was sort of the point,” Zoe explains. The little goddess frowns deeply, unsure of everything now. Humans are oddly complex. 

“But now it won’t work. Doesn’t it have a purpose?” Nari looks between Zoe and Douxie, the latter of whom is growing more weary by the minute. 

“Nari, I don’t condone destroying property, but sometimes you have to do things a little...unorthodox,” Douxie says, running a hand through his hair. “It’ll be fine. No need to worry about it.” 

Douxie leads them through the doorway and into the abandoned subway tunnel. Old, faded graffiti decorates the walls. Zoe holds a hand up to the wall, a beam of pinkish light shining on it. Nari moves to stand beside her, peering closely at the giant lettering. 

“Is this,” Nari says, gesturing to the painted walls, “a form of human communication? Or is it art?” 

Zoe’s face goes thoughtful. “Depends on who you are. Some people think it’s bad and should be illegal. I think it’s a form of art and expression. I guess you could call it communication. It’s just, kinda a human-nature thing. We like to leave our mark on the world, tell everyone, ‘we were here.’ If that makes any sense.” 

Nari nods along, not fully understanding her words, but getting a sense instead for what Zoe feels about this expression. Zoe’s hand traces the bubble-letters, fingers cutting paths through the dust down to the paint. Vibrant colors show through, bold and happy and loud, like some whispered secret now free. Humans are about connections. It’s in their auras and their bonds. Not all humans are as understanding of this seemingly universal feeling. But it’s there. That human want to express oneself is buried underneath, lingering there and calling out at even the hearts of the most cruel people Nari has touched on the auras of. 

Creatures and beings want to be known. Nari touches the wall, her small hand leaving a less-than-human looking print. The space where Zoe’s hand had been cleared an image of a hawk, wings outstretched, beneath the film of dust. Art, just as she had supposed. Nari notes how the shape of her palm is distinctly different next to the handprint Zoe had left. Nari tips her head, studying it. _I, too, wish to be known._

“C’mon ladybug, we’ll have time to stare at the graffiti later. If you like it, there’s plenty of it in this city,” Douxie says, voice echoing further down the tunnel. Nari trots after them, picking up her pace to walk beside Douxie. She grabs the edge of his jacket and summons her own pale green light in her palm. The wizard smiles down at her and continues. 

Douxie whistles a low tone as they walk and it gives Nari a little relief that both he and Zoe seem comfortable enough in the vaguely disturbing tunnels. Archie seems more on edge than the two mages, however.

“Nearly there,” Archie says, nose twitching. “Douxie, is it just me or…” 

“Yeah. It’s different. I've been tracing the magic this whole time, and there’s something different about it now.” Douxie’s arm tenses under Nari’s hand and his eyes dart around. Zoe returns to their side, watching Douxie’s body language. Nari quietly wishes she was able to read body language better; there are certain nuances of human emotion not displayed in auras and energies. It’s difficult to tell if Zoe’s changed her steps at all, but the sound of the heels on her boots is much less noticeable now. Archie dips lower, and then comes to land on the ground by her feet. 

“Hisirdoux,” Nari warns. He shakes his head. 

“Shh, Nar,” he mumbles, mouth barely moving. She makes note of the use of a nickname, and not a pet name. Again, so many little things about humans, but she has at the very least begun to understand them in her close companions. Archie is so much easier. His tail flicks slowly, ears twitching. He’s cautious, alert. 

“Douxie,” she says again, insistent. His eyes flick down to her, one hand slowly raising to silence her. “Stop. Listen. There is another magic here. I feel it.” 

He blinks, head on a swivel now, scanning for anything to leap out from the darkness. Nari feels out with her roots, trying to get a better sense of the fleeting magic that is lingering here. It evades her still and she concentrates harder. She catches a wisp of it and pulls Douxie forward urgently. 

“This way.” 

“Nari! Nari, wait, we don’t want to follow it,” he whispers loudly. Nari shakes her head. 

“Come,” she urges, and when his feet stay planted, she moves on of her own accord. The magic feels almost tantalizingly familiar. She knows it, in a good way. Or so she thinks. It’s not far now and she won’t lose the scent. 

Douxie and the others slink after her, not arguing any further. They round a bend, and behind the next, a faint light glows, a soft white in color. Nari lets go of the light in her palm and summons her staff, the worn-smooth branches fitting perfectly in her hands. The ball of light perched at the top of the staff glows intensely, illuminating the entire visible tunnel. 

“Look,” Archie says, flying up close to the far wall. “Isn’t this it? Well, where it was, anyways.” 

They crowd closer and Nari raises an eyebrow. “What is ‘it’?” she asks. 

“That’s just it. There’s nothing here anymore. The prophecy, it’s gone. It’s been some days but, I don’t know, I thought it would still be here. There’s nothing left. No signs of it at all.” Douxie wipes at the wall and comes away with dust and moss. He scowls. 

“Huh. Guess we move on, then?” Zoe sounds somewhat skeptical, but appears to brush it off. Douxie nods, extending his staff as a light source and continuing on. Nari takes a moment to notice how close Zoe sticks to Douxie and Nari’s light, not bothering to produce her own. She’s intrigued, mostly because the witch is headstrong and rarely chooses to let others do something for her. Nari dismisses it for now as just general tiredness and rounds the corner. 

A ball of light, flickering and glowing, floats before them, somewhat centered in the tunnel and giving off an unsteady hum. A low, pitiful wail emerges from the shifting mass, a nearly human sound. 

“What is that?” Zoe asks, aiming her wand at the shimmering figure. Nari motions for Zoe to stand down. It begins to shift into a vaguely human shaped form, slowly changing, two leg-like limbs extending to the floor, followed by arms. 

“She is a naiad. She is far, far from where she belongs,” Nari explains, her staff disappearing, reaching out to touch the hand of the figure. “This is Neda.” 

The figure becomes less and less spectral, till a human figure stands before them, a golden glow coming from her robed body. No fine features can be made out, giving but a general idea of the being. Long, wavy hair hangs in front of her face, no eyes, nose, or mouth to be had. The nymph is drawn into herself, a protective stance that might be seen in wounded animals. The nymph’s hand brushes over Nari’s and lingers, the glow flaring in intensity. 

“I knew her once.” Nari rips her hand away as though she was burned by the touch. The water nymph growls lowly. “But she is not the same. Her magic is familiar but at the heart...it is not her. She does not know me anymore.” 

Nari retreats back to Douxie’s side and places a hand on his shoulder. At his current crouch, he’s still a little taller than her and his height is reassuring in the face of the tall nymph. She looks up and meets his eyes uneasily. He looks back, that heightened fear returning. 

“Something is not right. The magic. Her soul.” Nari shakes her head. “It is disrupted.” 

“Do you want to leave?” Douxie asks, voice kind. Archie passes in front of Nari, wings raised just enough to shield her should the nymph come any closer. She feels badly about all of this. Neda had once been a friend, but whatever this husk is, is not Neda anymore. 

“It is for the best. She may become hostile otherwise. She cannot understand my magic. I do not know why.” Nari produces a little green butterfly in her palm and it flutters to the nymph, dancing around her head. The nymph growls and crushes it between her hands, a green mist falling away from the glowing hands. “Yes. We must go. Water nymphs are sometimes associated with Oracles. They stand guard over a spring. But it is clear there is no Oracle here.” 

Douxie lets her climb up onto his shoulders and Archie occupies Zoe’s, watching behind them diligently as they turn and leave. Nari feels a heavy sadness settling in her stomach. An ache for something lost. Nari summons another illusion of a butterfly and lets it wander away from her. She sighs, rests her cheek on Douxie’s head and follows it with her eyes until it disappears. 

“It’s alright, bug. We’re going home.” But even his voice isn’t as soothing as it usually is. 

*************************

“Douxie, we’ve spent three days searching down there and still haven’t found shi- found anything. Besides, aren’t Oracles evasive in general?” Zoe leans with her back against the balcony railing, standing with him, trying to enjoy the fleeting warmth before it leaves for the winter months. Douxie’s shoulder touches hers, comfortably close. He watches the street and the cars going by some stories below, pensive. 

“But maybe we’re getting closer every day,” he argues, fingers drumming on the rail. “And yes, they are evasive, but we were given a prophecy and haven’t the faintest what to do about the Order. This is the next best step.” 

“She’s right. We could spend months looking and never find the Oracle. It’s probably time we moved on, as much as I hate to say it. Prophecies are meant to be deciphered by their receivers. Never heard of an Oracle doing all the work in explaining one,” Archie admits, perching precariously on the railing and rubbing his head against Douxie’s arm. 

“I know. It’s just...frustrating.” Douxie shakes his head. “Maybe it’s time we get in touch with the others back in Arcadia and let them know what’s going on.” 

“Look!” Nari exclaims, dashing out to them with a small potted cactus cupped in her hands. “A bloom!” Indeed, a large, pink and yellow flower blossoms from the plant. Douxie smiles, leaning in to sniff it. Nari pulls it away with a look of confusion. 

“What?” he asks, laughing. Nari scowls. 

“Don’t eat it,” the little deity scolds. Douxie laughs harder, bringing a slightly deeper frown to her face. 

“I’m trying to smell it, Nari. May I?” Her face softens. Zoe snorts and Nari’s nose scrunches. 

“Oh. Then yes, you may. I don’t think it really smells like anything. Be cautious of the spikes.” She extends it to him again, eyes trained on him warily. He makes sure to keep away from the spines, and delicately sniffs. She’s mostly right, only a small fragrance coming from it. “It’s very beautiful.” 

“Yes. I think it is a good omen,” she says, turning almost abruptly and reentering the apartment. Douxie considers this for a moment, letting it reverse some of his previous fears and worries. If Nari said it, then he’ll have to believe it. Not sure they need more omens in their life of any kind, though. 

Douxie shakes his head, recalling a few of the other communication troubles he’s had with Nari over the past few months. The human world is a tricky one, to say the least. For the most part, it is easy to resolve those moments of confusion. But there’s some idioms that no matter how hard he tries he’ll never get across. 

Zoe tips her head back over the rail and Douxie stops himself from reaching out to grab her. That fear of falling is still present no matter what he does, though it’s faded some. 

“So I suggest that since your plan didn’t work, we seek out Tara next. It’s our best bet.” She stretches her arms out far over the balcony. 

“Love, you’re going to give me a heart attack if you keep doing that,” he says quietly, moving to sit on the singular lawn chair on their balcony. Zoe groans and steps away, promptly choosing his lap to sit. 

“Better?” She grins, leaning back against him, kicking her legs up to rest on the rail. 

He blushes. “Yeah, sure. Anyways-”

“Gah, I’m going to get my gray furs early,” Archie complains, jumping onto Zoe’s legs. Douxie grunts, rolling his eyes. “At least poor Nari doesn’t have to be subject to you two.” 

“Shush. Let me talk. I think we should just lay low for a week at least. I need the rest, and not to mention that Zoe and I have jobs.” Douxie rests his chin on her shoulder, feeling her muscles noticeably untense. 

“A good idea. Maybe you’ll even relax a bit, hmm?” Archie suggests, purrs interrupting his words as Zoe scratches the underside of his chin. The familiar settles in and Douxie attempts to resign to his fate. “Or is that too difficult?” 

“It is difficult. You of all beings know that,” Douxie protests. “But I suppose some downtime wouldn’t kill us.” 

“Watch your language,” Zoe prods, elbowing him. He grunts and wraps his arms around her, partially to prevent another jab to the gut. And partially because he feels less worried she’ll get up and start dangling off the edge again. Archie peers up at him, a serious look. Douxie mouths _I know_. No more talk about dying. 

“As you wish.” For a long while, the three of them sit there together, and it reminds Douxie of years past. He closes his eyes and can imagine sitting on the roof of the bookstore back in Arcadia and watching the skies, talking about nothing. He lets himself slip into that mental image. Sometimes the imagination is better than reality.

************************

Douxie has been asleep for a couple hours. Zoe had laid there for the same amount of time, restless and unable to fall asleep, with one of his arms tucked securely across her waist. Mercifully, sometime ten or so minutes ago, he’d rolled over, mumbling a question that sounded like “...what tunes _does_ Merlin like?” and then snored rather loudly. 

She had taken the opportunity to sneak out of the room and now lays on the couch, the pale light from the city washing the room in an orange-yellow glow. The TV is on, playing some show she doesn’t know, the closed captions on and the mute symbol flashing intermittently on the screen. She zones out, not thinking much of anything as she watches the images flickering by. 

“Can’t sleep either, I see?” 

Zoe startles, pointing two fingers out at the small dragon, nearly invisible in the shadow of the loveseat. “Jesus, KitKat.” 

Archie makes a noise of annoyance, but leaps up beside her anyways. “It’s not my fault you humans have poor hearing. What’s on?” 

Zoe turns her attention back to the TV. “Some British comedy reruns.”

“Finally taking after Douxie and myself?” Archie headbutts her arm, grinning. 

“No, it’s the only thing on,” she explains, waving a hand at the station list, full of nothing but the news and reruns of long-outdated shows. “Wish I had access to all the old science shows, those used to run late and some Morgan Freeman or Carl Sagan would be nice. Y’know, NOVA.” 

“You and your science shows. I remember that. I swear I still dream that Freeman’s voice soothes me to sleep,” Archie chuckles, Zoe joining him, laughter trailing off with a nostalgic sigh. “How are you doing, Zoe?” 

Zoe’s eyes flick over to him, not moving her head. A guilty weight settles in her stomach. “I’m managing.” 

Archie comes to stand on her legs, tipping his head and meeting her eyes. “You can talk to me. You know I won’t start freaking out like Douxie.” Zoe nods. 

“Yeah. I’m just...I don’t know. Keep having this stupid dream. And I’m afraid that Douxie is going to worry himself thin. Now this whole dreamwalking thing with Nari, she’s seemed really concerned about it. We didn’t anywhere with this Oracle business. Claire sent me a text the other day, she thinks she’s having visions again but they’re not very clear yet. I keep feeling like we’re just not safe.” Zoe pulls Archie into her lap, gently scratching the spot behind his ears. “Been trying to keep myself busy.”

“I did notice you were working on new enhancers,” Archie comments, chin jutting to the gems scattered on the table in front of her. Wires and a couple carving tools lay in the midst of them, along with an open runebook. 

“I’ve been trying. Haven’t really gotten that far, though.” She leans forward and picks up a multi-faceted emerald, turning it over in her hand. The light glints off of it and she can sense the magic imbued in it’s carved runes. The gash on her back tingles. 

“At the very least, your worrying manifests differently than Douxie’s. You need to get him back to playing his guitar again, it’s been too long and it’s one of the few ways he relaxes. And he likes to play for you. Might I ask what this gem is for?” Archie reaches a paw out and taps a clear, somewhat opalescent gem, rectangular in shape. 

“It’s not for anyone. It was supposed to go on my altar back home. Took it with me in case I can use it. It’s a healing crystal, not really sure what any of use would do with it anyways.” 

She doesn’t need to say that she doesn’t have a lot of skill in healing. She has more than Douxie, but it’s best used on someone else, and it’s only all that effective when she has the enhancers to help her. Otherwise, sure, she could pass over a scrape with a hand, clear up scratches and maybe even a black eye, but once there was more than a little consistent bleeding, it was out of her field of expertise. She’d spent many nights doing small, cover-up healing magic on Douxie so he could go into work the next day and not be interrogated. Healing salves and minor potions are more up her alley, something learned from Isabel centuries ago, but unfortunately most reagents are hard to come by in the modern day. 

“I see,” Archie says, shifting it and pulling a golden jewel towards him. “This one?” 

“Something I was working on for Nari, actually. The whole dreamwalking thing has been really bothering me, and she mentioned that there’s magic to stop it from being able to happen.” Zoe flips through some pages of the book, stopping on a page dotted with little sketches of crystals. “And there is magic for it, it’s just extremely complex. I was going to try to create a charm out of the runes, though it doesn’t say if it works like that.”

“What’s the catch, then?” Archie tips his head, looking up at her. “Because complex has never stopped you before.” Zoe has to admit that he’s right there. She’d keep at something until she got it, even if it meant years and years of work. 

“So you know how some spells need something other than the user’s magic contributed to it?” She taps an illustration on the page, eyes scanning the Latin text. “This one requires like three types of blood to do it. Who knew this was blood magic? It would need my blood, since I created the spell, Nari’s, and some non-magical blood to purify it. Obviously, we have access to two of those things, and not the other one. That’s assuming Nari bleeds.” 

“Why not ask the Guardians of Arcadia? I’m sure they’d be understanding, and from what I understand, it would only take a few drops.” Archie watches her, inquisitive. 

“I would, but whoever it is whose blood gets used, has the possibility of being magically bound to the others whose blood was used in the spell. Last thing I need is to be blood-bound with Steve. So the only other thing would be getting blood from...ugh. A dead person.” Zoe shudders. 

“Does it have to be a person? If I caught a squirrel and brought it home, would that work?” 

Zoe laughs lightly, but considers this. “I actually have no idea. It doesn’t specify. But I’m not sure I want to risk messing any of this up, I’m not an alchemist. I guess if Nari doesn’t keep having these incidents, it would be alright to not do anything. I just...I know what she’s going through and it’s awful to suffer like that.” Even if she’d never had an instance of dreamwalking, she knows the torment that nightmares can wreak on anyone, demi-god or not. 

“That sounds like a good plan, Zoe. Trust in yourself and your magic.” 

Zoe swallows uneasily. “Yeah, I’m trying to.” Archie eyes her warily but says nothing. 

“Let’s get you back to bed before Douxie realizes you’re gone and has a small heart attack, hmm?” Archie jokes, pushing her with his head. 

“I’m too awake to sleep still, you go take my place,” she insists. Archie tips his head, thinking it over, and hops down from the couch. 

“Fine. But when he’s sad about it tomorrow, I’m blaming it on you,” the familiar says with a smile. Zoe rolls her eyes. 

“Whatever,” she scoffs, and then amends, “Goodnight.” Archie makes a contented sound and she listens as he pads down the hallway, waiting until she hears the springs of the bed creaking and his purr carrying through the apartment. 

Zoe stays there, not really watching the TV, for another half hour, a million thoughts crossing her mind. She hesitantly reaches out with her mind and feels for Douxie and Archie’s signatures, finding that quiet hum that only exists in sleep. Satisfied, she gathers a few of the different gems, her phone, stands, and heads for the door, careful not to jingle the sliding lock or disturb the ward. 

On the other side, she takes a deep breath of the musty air, sighing and clenching a fist tightly around two of the gems. _So long as I’m back in an hour, it’s all fine, right?_

She glances around a couple times before quietly taking off down the stairs and to the street, pulling up the hood of a sweatshirt she’d pilfered from Douxie and keeping her head low as she walks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Neda was a Greek water nymph who resided in Arcadia, Greece. It's not important to the story, but a neat tidbit that I thought I'd share because I did extensive research for very little output in this story. Unless enough people want her to come back, I think Neda is just a stepping stone for the plot.


	15. Thunderstruck

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoe isn't exactly known for making the best choices, but then again, she wasn't expecting what she found. And she certainly wasn't prepared for the completely unpredictable aftermath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *does a little dance of excitement*
> 
> It is here! I am finally here! It only took me like 30k more words to get where I wanted to be but I am here! And I am nowhere near finished, lol. So I hope some of you are in this for the long run.
> 
> As for the chapter this title, forgive me. I simply had to. I know that Zoe listens to AC/DC and this whole chapter is her POV. Also there is a little bit of extra swearing in this chapter because Zoe.

_Shit shit shit shit._

Zoe bites down hard on her tongue, doing her best not to breathe. The stone floor is freezing beneath her, the chill biting through her thin leggings. A long hiss fills the room, setting her nerves abuzz with adrenaline.

There’s not a lot of Zoe’s plans that don’t backfire at least a little bit. But it’s the hazard she is prepared for. She expected something more like a nighttime security guard, or more cameras than she’d thought there were. 

Zoe was not banking on a giant snake coming alive on its display pedestals and chasing her through the museum. 

“Call Douxie!” she shouts at her phone, just hoping that her voice can be picked up through the sounds of shattering glass as the snake crashes through more displays. The phone buzzes in her hand. _It’s nearly morning. Spent two hours longer here than I thought, who knew this place is a damn maze in the dark? He definitely knows I’m gone by now. And he’s definitely awake and freaking the fuck out. I’m screwed._

“Calling…” the phone trills, the default ringtone playing. She dashes around a corner and grabs a railing to quickly change course. It’s an empty cafeteria, wide open and extremely dangerous to be caught in. _Wait! There._ She sprints for the back of the room, where she’s spotted an elevator. A screech echoes down the hallways towards her and she pushes harder, slamming into the button on the wall. Her heart pounds in her chest as she waits for the doors to finally open with a chime. She throws herself inside and jams the close door button.

The massive serpent rounds the corner and sees her, making a beeline for the now closing elevator doors. She hits the button harder, knowing full well it won’t speed up. It shoves aside tables and chairs in its path like they’re not even there.

“C’mon, c’mon…” The creature lunges, and thuds loudly against the doors as they shut. Douxie picks up immediately after the elevator jolts into motion. 

“Hey-” 

_“Zoe, where in the nine realms are you?”_ His voice is uneasy, not mad, per se, but possibly getting there. She laughs nervously. 

“Um, I’m nearby, actually-” 

_“What in Helheim do you even think you’re doing? Seriously! It’s the middle of the night, Zoe, you told none of us where you-”_

“Douxie, I swear, it’s fine. I’ll be back soon, they’re having a power issue with the subway.” A piercing shriek splits the air, sounding like the massive snake is somewhere right outside the elevator doors. Which...doesn’t make a lot of sense, because she’s still going up. 

_“What was that.”_

“...the...tracks...squealing?” _Real flipping convincing._

 _“Please, for the love of gods, stay put. We’ll be there soon, I’ll have Nari find you-”_ The elevator begins to slow down and Zoe punches the button for the uppermost floor now, having made it only halfway. 

“No, no, Douxie, I mean it, I will be back soon, look, I’ll call you in five and prove it’s all good.” 

_“I don’t believe that for one second.”_ She rolls her eyes. 

“Ye of little faith-” 

_“Cut it out! I’m not joking! Hey! Psst! Archie, stop it. Sorry. But no. We’re coming to find you right now, I honestly don’t care what you have to say about it. Please keep yourself safe until we get there,”_ he begs, and she hears the worry thicken in his voice. 

“I’ll do my best.” 

_“No, love, I mean it.”_

“Yeah, yeah. I will keep myself safe.” She bobs her head as she speaks, only half listening to him now. Her attention is drawn by the sounds of the serpent crashing through the building, in what she can only guess is the stairwell. 

_“I’ll be there soon.”_

Zoe mumbles a ‘see you’ and focuses on steadying her breathing and readying one of the crystals. The emerald is a protection crystal, one she’s had for a while. It won’t save her, but it’s enough that any of the basilisk's magic, for instance, their deadly gaze, is nullified. 

She concentrates, a little difficult through the pain, sending a shock through the crystal and it splits into four pieces, enough for each of them to have one when they arrive. The use of the magic hurts, sure, but her pain threshold is only increasing lately. She tucks one of the crystals into a pocket and the others into a pouch slung over her shoulder, and prepares to fight this damned thing. 

_Basilisk’s weakness...well, they’re a snake. They don’t have legs. It leaves a trail of venomous poison in its wake. This one is massively overgrown for some stupid reason. These aren’t weaknesses. Oh gods, I can’t think right now. It’s two a.m. and I’m going to be killed by a basilisk._

As soon as the doors open on the third-to-last floor, she sprints out, headed for the rooftop. She has no idea how her companions are going to get here, but she’s placing bets on it being by Archie flying them, because Douxie didn’t sound like he was in a very patient mood. She's only a couple of blocks away and it's been about five minutes since the call had started. She's already made sure to drop her mental barrier a bit so that Douxie could properly track her. There's no point in resisting it, especially with the present danger at hand.

As if on cue, the nearest fire exit door swings open, crashing into the wall. Archie transforms out of a rhino’s form and back to a dragon, panting. Archie sneezes, knocking a piece of the shrapnel off his side. 

“Oh, no, I think we really broke this door-” Douxie starts, holding his hands out as if to fix or adjust it, when all that’s really left are pieces. She rolls her eyes.

“That door is going to be the least of this museum’s problems. Listen,” Zoe says, pointing at the floor. More shattering glass sounds somewhere below them, and that same long hiss. “It’s a basilisk, I think it hurt one of it’s eyes already, but in case I’ve got these.” 

She hands both of them a piece of the broken crystal and pauses. “Where’s Nari?” 

“She’s still in the apartment because there’s no way I’m getting her involved in this mess, I simply asked her to locate you like before. Besides, we’ve taken on these creatures, or, well, things like them, before.” Douxie pockets his piece of the crystal, and then frowns when Zoe gives him the extra. “Isn’t one enough?” 

“Knowing you, it isn’t. Alright, so, my plan was to get this thing out of here, and on the roof if possible. It’ll be easier to take on in the open and I’ll be able to use the storm. Sound good?” Zoe confirms, watching their faces. Archie nods curtly, while the wizard beside him rubs at tired eyes. 

“I just wish none of this was happening at all, but yeah, sure. Let’s get on with it.” He runs a hand through his hair, staff materializing in his left. The snake has gotten up the next few floors as they spoke, leaving Zoe to feel a bit fearful about just what it’s going to take to stop this thing. Or if they can stop it. 

“Douxie, you think you could work us up a cloaking spell when we get up on the roof?” Zoe asks, vaulting up the flights of stairs. 

“Probably? I’ll need cover, it’ll take a minute,” he says, right on her heels. Archie swoops low above their heads. 

“I can be the cover. Zoe, offense, as usual?” comes Archie, voice echoing the the stairwell.

“Of course,” she answers, maybe a little too quickly. She’s just praying that the pain won’t worsen. Douxie shoulders open the roof door, catching Zoe as she follows Archie out. She pauses, meeting his eyes. 

“Zoe, please be careful, alright?” A mountain of unsaid fears are gathered in his mind, and she doesn't have to reach out to tell that most of it centers around fear for her safety. 

She grins. “When am I not?” His eyes widen. “Kidding.” 

“I mean it, I’m exhausted and barely slept, I’m not going to be a lot of use in this fight and I’m afraid we’re going to be relying on you. I know you can do it, I just, don’t do anything stupid, alright?” His eyes reflect the floodlights streaming across the roof, the constant worry there, mixed with some sort of hurt. “Be careful.” 

He presses a quick kiss to her lips and jogs across to Archie, immediately beginning the ward in a quiet chant. The snake thunders through the stairwell not seconds later and Zoe locks into the forming storm, sending a spear of energy to slice at it's narrow head coming around the corner. It shrieks, but sinks back into the stairwell for a moment, watching her with a dangerous eye. Zoe averts her gaze and picks a point on the ground where her peripheral can still pick up momement, not willing to risk the chance the protective gems aren’t enough. 

She slowly retreats to Douxie, holding up a shield all the while and watching the basilisk from the corner of her eye. It howls and lunges for her, bouncing off the shield but sending her toppling into Douxie. They’re thrown into a pile of crates, good enough to stay hidden in for a moment. 

“It’s fine,” he grunts, waving a hand. “Got the ward done.” 

“Okay, good. So, gameplan now.” Zoe rolls her shoulders, trying to ease that tension that was building anyways. The basilisk circles the rooftop, jaw clicking as it opens and shuts to taste the air. 

“Wait a minute, what was the point of all of this?” Douxie joins his shield with hers, wiping his hair out of his face. “And how did that thing get here?”

“Well, okay, so there’s this book full of runes they had in a gallery on display and I could read it, it’s actually some really important stuff but the staff and researchers think it’s some kind of code, it’s not. Anyways, it’s got some potentially useful stuff in it that might really help us. And the basilisk was just here, I honestly have no clue.” It's...mostly the truth. Zoe searches his eyes for sympathy, but there’s hardly any to be had. He looks annoyed, and rightfully so. 

“So your first idea was to steal the book. When were you going to tell me?” 

“Uh, hopefully not at all? I knew you wouldn’t approve.” She tries a half-smile. He sinks downwards, looking ever more fatigued. 

“That’s because it’s illegal.” 

“Can we have this talk when that fucking snake isn’t trying to kill us?” Zoe crouches lower, a splat of venom shooting over their heads and hitting the brick. The stone begins to dissolve and melt away. 

“Fine! But we’re having that talk and I’m not letting you impart any more bad habits onto Nari.” Douxie waves a stern finger at her.

“You say that like I’m trying to!” 

“Enough! That thing is going to kill us if you two don’t stop arguing!” Archie snaps, smacking both of them with his wings. Zoe rolls her eyes and charges a spell in her palm, just a simple bolt of lightning. Douxie meets her eyes with a confirming look.

She dives out from their shelter and hits the basilisk in it’s remaining eye with the bolt, luckily eliminating the need for Archie to continue holding his crystal. And hopefully takes half the danger out of all of this. She takes cover behind a few barrels, panting, and racking her brain for anything that might help them. 

“Archie!” she shouts, catching his attention from where he stands, unleashing a stream of fire at the snake. “It’s weasels! Weasels are the enemy of a basilisk!” 

Archie gives her a very confused look for a moment before throwing himself to her side and shifting into a rather small, black, bespectacled weasel. “What is this supposed to do?” 

“Weasels are supposed to be the only things that can physically attack them and not get hurt. There’s like one or two other things, I just, I can’t think of it right now. You’re going to want to be a bit bigger than that, though.” 

“Whatever the lady wills,” Archie says with a snort, transforming into a weasel more the size of a lion. “Better?” 

“Let’s hope. Cute nose, by the way.” Archie's small ears pin back, but he smiles faintly. Zoe peers around the barrels, watching Douxie sending blast after blast into the snake’s impenetrable hide. He's doing a good job of distracting it, but it's clear that it won't last long and he'll run out of energy soon. “I’m gonna try to smoke the thing if I can get a clear shot at it. This incoming storm should give me enough extra energy to pull from. Also, if we can, I want to save the ashes of this thing, they’re super rare and said to be pretty useful.” 

Archie gives her an exasperated look. “That comes _after_ all this, understand?” 

“Yes, yes, after this. Alright. You join Douxie and help distract this thing, and I’ll figure out how to kill it.” Zoe pats the weasel’s dark flank, breathing in deeply and letting herself become enveloped in the pressing storm. 

Even after so long, having known magic and thunderstorms and electricity for centuries upon centuries, it still is a comfort to her. It settles onto her shoulders like comforting hands, wraps itself around her consciousness like a blanket. She can relax into it, sink into it's comfortable depths. She clenches a fist and a roll of thunder in the distance sounds, like music to her ears. 

She faces the basilisk, magic crackling over her arms, and finds her footing on the slickening rooftop. _Let’s do this._ Rain begins to fall steadily, soaking into her shirt- a rather nice tank top, with a low cut back(it does show her wound, but that’s what bandages are for), and regrettably is already bearing the damage of this fight. Her skin chills as the rain turns to a downpour.

“C’mon, you ugly wyrm! You want a piece of me?” From some feet away, Douxie shoots her a resigned look, not one she’s all that unfamiliar with, but she’s just trying to have some fun in all this. The snake charges, baring its fangs. Zoe quickly side-steps, letting it shoot past her. She directs a shock to it’s tail that chars it’s scaly hide. 

It growls and whips around, targeting Douxie instead. He sends a cloud of blue smoke into its face and Zoe shakes her head.

“It can’t see anymore! Offensive magic is best, don't think we can save this thing. Archie, get after it and Douxie, behind me,” she shouts, leaping over broken barrels and crates thrown across the rooftop. She throws her shoulders against Douxie’s, trying to find the snake again in the mist. "Where the hell are you?" 

Archie snarls loudly, and she spots them rolling closer, the weasel’s teeth sunk deep into the skin of the basilisk, tearing his head back and forth violently. The basilisk rears its head into the air, trying to shake him off, but he holds fast. Zoe leaps forward a couple steps and jabs the points of her wand into its side and it thrashes in pain. 

The basilisk's tail whips out, colliding with her ribs, and sends her flying across the roof. She’s slammed into a metal pole and agonizing pain courses through her limbs. 

For a long moment, Zoe lays on the cold, hard metal. Her vision is blurred around the edges. Her whole body throbs with pain. The wound on her back feels like it’s had hot acid poured into it from the stream of magic use. Breathing hurts. She’s bruised and beat to hell. So she stays there. Her ears ring. The rain kisses her skin. It’s almost picturesque. 

She could die like this. Not that she wants to. But if she has to go, this isn’t so bad. 

Rain falling always looks a little funny when you’re looking straight up. The droplets descend like little glittering jewels in the night, shining for only her to see. She’s vaguely aware of the ongoing sounds of fighting around her, but it doesn’t matter. The sky is beautiful. Thunder rumbles around them, faint flashes of light illuminating the dark. She could lay here forever, watching and feeling the storm. She smiles and closes her eyes. 

**_Rise, my child. Your work is not done._ **

Zoe opens her eyes and glances around, fuzzy vision doing her little good. The voice seems to be right inside her own mind. The sound is oddly comforting, pain ebbing as if in response.

**_Stand. Bring yourself to your feet once more. You are stronger than this. You are persistent. You are a force to be reckoned with._ **

“Mama?” Zoe breathes, eyes flicking all around her. _No. Mama is long gone. Maybe this is a spirit?_

**_Stand, child. It is not nearly over._ **

Relief floods her veins. It’s as though the pain was never there at all. Zoe grunts, rolling onto her side, and stands, knees a little stiff. She produces her wand in her hand and takes a deep breath. She orients herself. Douxie and Archie are persistently fighting, seeming ever the more beaten back. Blood spots Douxie’s clothes and she knows it’s his own. 

Zoe sets her shoulders and tips her head to the rain.

_Thank you, kind spirit. But I’m afraid that wasn’t enough. Gods above, if you’re listening and my lucky stars shine, I have a request. Grant me the power I need to save them from this mess I got into. My idiot boyfriend and his cat. You know, the usual._

Lightning flashes and touches the roof only a couple lengths away from her. A massive crack of thunder splits open the sky and drums the earth, rain pouring forth as though the heavens have opened above her. 

“Douxie! Archie! GET BACK!” she shouts, knowing her voice cracks in desperation. The pair look to her from where they are cowering under a shield that Douxie is barely managing to keep over his head. They scramble away, out of reach of the snake. It diverts it’s attention to her now, the closer target.

Zoe’s hand cast towards the heavens is jolted severely, a surge of power flooding her veins. It's like nothing she's ever felt before, not even sharing her magic with Douxie, or any amount of magical enhancers. It triggers the wound, but she snarls and bears the torment. _I have to do this. There’s no other way. I can do this._ She draws her arm into her, crackling with lightning, and spins with an outswept foot, landing facing the massive serpent towering high above her. It screeches, head descending directly down. She aims her arm straight into its toothy maw and releases the pent-up magic with a yell, massive lightning bolts streaming from her hand in a blinding flash of pink-white, thunder rumbling so loudly it shakes the building beneath her, and possibly even the sky. 

The basilisk wails and writhes violently, throwing its head back and letting loose an earsplitting howl. Zoe throws her hands above her head in an attempt to defend herself in case the snake comes down upon her, but produces no shield because there’s nothing left for her to draw from.

With one final screech, the basilisk collapses in a burning heap of tangled tail on the rooftop, sizzling in the downpour. Once she’s positive it lies still, she lets go of her held tension, muscles crying out in relief and giving out. She drops to her knees, all power in her body suddenly gone. She slumps forward and lays down, letting the rain fill her mind again. Slowly, the droplets peter away and the sky starts to clear, as if that sudden thunderstorm had never happened. When she looks again, the basilisk is just a pile of ashes beside her. 

**_You have done well._** Zoe smiles at that, though the voice sounds like it's fading away. She shifts and opens her eyes, finding Douxie picking himself up off the ground beside his familiar. _Was that me? Blast radius?_

Zoe stumbles as she pulls herself to her knees, her shoulders suddenly feeling much heavier than she remembered. _Holy shit. I’m fucking exhausted. I don’t think I’ve ever done magic like that on my own._ As she staggers back to her feet, muscles in her back tense, screaming out. She lifts a hand to her neck, aching like she pulled things she didn’t know could be pulled. Zoe looks up, turning about to face Douxie and Archie. They’re staring, jaws hanging loose. 

“What part of my face is bleeding?” she coughs out, attempting to crack a smile. Even her face stings, but she's not sure what from. The only thing that, weirdly enough, doesn't hurt, is the unusual wound on her back. She shakes her palms, dispelling the flickers of magic still remaining and rubs at her cheek, only coming away with dirt. She could have sworn she was bleeding. 

“Zoe, I…” Douxie gestures at nothing, crossing to her. He stops short a few feet away, eyes fixed on a point over her shoulder. “You...you have…”

Zoe frowns, turning and looking back. She doesn’t look far because of that nagging pain in her neck. “Spit it out, I don’t see anything.” 

“Zo, stop,” he says, grabbing her shoulders and facing her towards him. He reaches over her shoulder and tugs gently on something. 

Something attached to her. Something that is very, surely, most definitely, connected to those hurting muscles in her back. Douxie carefully pulls it into her view, true disbelief showing in his eyes. She cranes her neck to see it better. 

He holds none other than a massive, bronze, feathered wing. 

“What the hell…” She tries to move away from it, as though distancing herself might make the fact that it is attached to her literal body less real. Douxie’s hand slides off the sleek feathers, an alien sensation that sends a shiver down her spine. She gulps, and reaches out with a hand to touch the wing. It flicks away from her and she frowns. 

“My, my,” Archie says, looking up in awe. “Those are marvelous.” 

“I don’t...I don’t understand, I didn’t use a spell, or anything.” She reaches a hand over her shoulder and tries to feel the feathers, surprising herself with their sheer size. Folded back as they are, the wings peak a good few inches over her head. She glances to her feet and behind her, noticing how the longest of the primaries sweep the ground. Two talon-like appendages crown both wings. 

“Are you sure? Because a spell could have done this, I mean, a powerful one,” Douxie says, eyes still stuck on the wings. He shakes his head in disbelief. “I don’t know how it would work otherwise.” 

Zoe shakes her head and summons her wand in her hand, preparing to work out a way to undo whatever this is. They’d had magical mishaps before, so what would be different about this?

Bursting into her hand with a flash of her pink magic, is not her wand. Instead, she holds a long, unusual spear, it’s shaft made of some reddish wood with a leather handgrip, a decorative piercing blade made of some metal that’s color shifts in the light, and a ribbon wrapped at the shoulder of the blade. The ribbon flutters slightly and she makes out more runes embroidered into it that look almost familiar. Two runes that she recognizes as Norse lightning runes are situated on the spear, one at the eye of the shaft, and the other at the very base.

“Alright. Okay,” Zoe says, rubbing her forehead, what's sure to be a migraine starting already. “This isn’t normal. Right? I’m not just going a little crazy?” She half-steps toward Douxie, who steps back, face gone completely neutral. “Y-you’re not afraid of me...are you?” 

Douxie makes a pained look, biting a lip. “Of course I’m not, I’m just...you know, if your magic is going a little haywire on you right now, it might be more dangerous. I’m just being cautious, you’re a little on edge at the moment.” Zoe distinctly remembers a few occasions where he’d gotten a mild static shock, maybe from him surprising her, but it was really never intentional, and never serious. 

“Don’t lie to me,” she says, wings snapping up against her arms. _These damned things have a mind of their own._ “Please. You know I’d never hurt you.”

“I’m not lying, love,” he says, reaching a hand out. “Look. C’mere.” He sighs, shrugging his shoulders a little when she doesn’t join him. Her wings sink closer in on herself, their residual warmth and nearness comforting. _I wish they wouldn’t respond to my emotions like that._ She tenses again when he moves to hold out his other arm. 

_Gods,_ I’m _scared of hurting him. Look at all the damage I’ve already done, and what I’m capable of doing. What sort of crazy possessed magic is this? It can’t be the charms or the small enhancers, it didn’t even feel like me. This is...so different. What if I am dangerous? I just killed a basilisk, on my own, for gods sakes._

“Zoe.” 

She meets his eyes, his soft but firm voice breaking her thoughts. Tentatively, she lowers her mental barrier first, testing the connection with Douxie’s. His magic signature is a steady hum, tranquil almost. She mellows quickly, listening to the hum like it’s some lullaby she’d been sung as a child. Hell, it almost could be. She’s listened to his magic as background noise for centuries. 

Zoe steps forward, two quick strides. The shift of her balance is greatly disturbed by the wings weighing on her back and she dips forward, unable to stop her fall. The wings flail, succeeding in nothing but awkwardly throwing her weight around again. Douxie catches her and carefully lowers her down, sinking to his knees with her. 

“Easy there,” he says, letting her lean into him as support. Her wings sag down beside them, resting heavily on the ground. “Don’t worry about all this, we always figure these things out.” 

Archie presses into the little space between them, purring and standing on their legs. “I for one think this is a very interesting development. With some time thinking this through I may have a better answer for you. They look to be hawk wings. Powerful and fast, much like the brilliant witch they now belong to.” 

Zoe’s smile returns at that. Maybe once she got the hang of them, it wouldn’t be so bad. Hell, she’d always wondered what flight would be like. _Oh, gods. This is going to change my life._

“Archie...do you think that maybe it’s her gift?” Douxie says, trailing a hand over the tense muscles in her shoulders and neck. He kneads at them gently. She could almost collapse at the relief. 

“An astute observation. No staff involved, but magic is a tricky thing after all. You may be right. Whether it’s permanent or temporary, has an on/off switch, however, is anyone’s guess.” The familiar adjusts his glasses, inspecting the feathers. Douxie presses his face into the crook of her neck. She feels his magic, running so wonderfully peacefully. _How is he so calm? He’s never calm._

“I’m really tired,” she mumbles into his shoulder. “Can we figure this out tomorrow?” 

“Of course we can. You did amazing, you know.” Douxie’s hand works its way into her hair, catching on various knots and teasing them out. “And you were very, very impressive to watch, that was some insane magic. Even if you did get us into this mess in the first place.” 

“Uh huh. Thank you.” Zoe pulls back some, turning to give the wings a good look. They’re beautiful, she admits to herself. But they’re also huge. _I understand a bit about flight and anatomically correct wings, but I never thought they’d be, well, like this._

She shifts away and attempts to stand, but the awkwardness of the wings makes it a lot harder than she was expecting. Her center of balance is entirely off and it's like trying to move with a strangely shaped backpack. 

“Here, let me,” Douxie says, trying to help her. He reaches out and grabs at a wing, clearly unsure of any way to assist. She shakes it loose, moving it in a very disjointed way. 

“No, stop it.” She pushes him away, staggering. “I have it.” With some difficulties, she balances again, finding her posture more upright and almost more regal than what it usually was. 

“Zoe, give them a few good flaps for me, will you?” Archie asks, raising his own, membraned pair. He demonstrates, not creating enough force to lift him, but just a sweep back and forth. 

Zoe takes a moment to search out the new limbs, like a baby might actively think about moving a hand in order to grab their foot. She stretches one out appendage and quickly has to snap the other out before she topples herself. Douxie leaps forward to help, but she holds out a hand, shaking her head. She spreads both wings to their fullest, then raises them up over her head in a slow arc, touching the longest two primaries together. 

Douxie whistles, shaking his head. “Oh, you have no idea how freaking nuclear those look.” 

“Come on, flap them,” Archie says, beating his again. The dragon’s wings are miniature in comparison. 

“Alright, alright,” she says, bringing them down to shoulder level again. They feel both unnatural and innate, a conflicting sense she’s never experienced before. Like they'd always been a part of her, and like they were never meant to be on her body at all.

She breathes deeply and sweeps the wings forward and then back. The force created counters itself, keeping her steady on her feet. Douxie’s hair ruffles in the little displacement of wind the wings create and she smiles in response to his wide grin. 

“I know you used to always talk about wanting wings,” Zoe says, experimentally stretching and closing them, feeling like she’s some sort of puppeteer manipulating these foreign objects. “But it’s not at all like I imagined.” 

“Eh, it’s fine, I have a spell that allows me to fly anyways, sorta Superman style. Draining though. Besides, I think the wings work better for you than they would me.” Douxie reaches out again, but pauses. “May I?” 

Zoe nods. Carefully, he takes one of her wings again and eases it into a half-open position, walking around them. He trails his fingers over the feathers and she twitches. 

“Whoa, now this is something else,” Douxie says, standing behind her. Archie makes a sound of agreement. 

“What? I can’t really see over my shoulder very well anymore,” she complains, craning her neck. “Gods, there’s like new muscles everywhere. And they all hurt.” 

“Like Arch said, they’re kinda like hawk wings, but you know your lightning scar? You’ve got the Lichtenberg figures all over the feathers, too, it looks sick.” She feels the pressure of his hand on the wings again, and it’s strangely relaxing. 

“So it transferred or something? Huh.” Zoe thinks on this for a moment. “Or maybe that’s because it’s part of my magic? When did I get the wings? Maybe it was summoning the lightning? I’ve got to do so much research on this, we need some books or something, someone has to have experienced this before, there's no way they haven’t. This is crazy.” 

“I bet. And hey, it’s something to keep us busy, right?” Douxie smiles, moving back around to face her. She returns the smile, mind still moving a million miles a minute. 

“Right.” She concentrates for a moment and pins the wings back, feeling them close neatly against her spine and brush her calves. “We’ll figure this out.” 

“Let’s return home before Nari gets worried enough to come and get us herself. I’ll fly us, at least for the time being,” Archie teases, a paw reaching out to tap one of her wings. She grins. _I'm going to learn to fly._ Douxie has scooped up the basilisk’s ashes and tucked them away. Zoe gives him a slight nod as a thank you. “Because before you know it I’ll have you airborne too.” 

Zoe allows herself to laugh at that, climbing onto a now very large Archie-the-dragon’s fluffy back and wrapping her arms securely around Douxie’s middle. She tries to think harder about all this, how she of all people ended up with wings, but her brain remains hazy and she closes her eyes against Douxie’s back, appreciating his warmth, and the strangely comforting sensation of the wings.

The echoing voice in her head seems to mumble something, hopefully unimportant, because she can't trace it as she lets her mind return to a state of tranquility and satisfaction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So! Some of you may already know, but I run a Zoe RP/Ask account on tumblr now, and I've decided that I'll open up to asks regarding wings!Zoe, to either ask Zoe, the muse, or myself, the mun, either is cool, personal accounts and muse interactions will be welcome. Use it to ask pressing questions if you want, but you may not get clear answers on everything...yet. For the RP blog, [go here](https://zoe-b-raiden.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Anyways, now that we're here, the good stuff is coming! There will be additional, non-vital but very fun wings!Zoe content coming, to be posted in the Zoe-centric series I've got going thus far because I can't help myself. Stay tuned and I promise that I haven't forgotten about the loose ends.


	16. Broken Crown

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back in Arcadia, the sense of something new is stirring and preparations for battle are begun.

“How do you go back to a normal life, Krel? After everything’s been thrown on its head?” 

Jim kicks a rock up the sidewalk, hands shoved deep in his pockets and shoulders hunched a little. Krel beside him lifts a hand to his chin, a second tapping at his hip, and the two lower arms clasped behind his back. He spends a moment contemplating this before attempting an answer.

“Hmm. I do not know what a normal human life is, still. There is no normal, I do not think. Not in Arcadia at least. And what do you mean ‘thrown on its head?’ ” Krel pictures the head of Ricky Blank, now repaired and thankfully long since reconnected to his neck, many thanks to Zoe. 

“Well, you know. After the whole ‘the end of the world is over’ kinda thing. When everybody left and all.” 

“I made more wormholes? Worked on improving and updating the technology in my house? More projects and fixes, I stayed busy as much as I could. Does that count?” Krel asks, a genuine question, tinged with humor. He still doesn’t understand entirely. Not because he hadn’t had an adjustment period, but because he thinks his is much more different than Jim’s current predicament. “I do not think that this is the same issue, Jim. Perhaps others might know? What about that woman Strickler is friends with?” 

Jim laughs lightly. “Uh, I don’t think I’d go so far as to say they’re friends. If you mean Nomura, anyways. Maybe it wouldn’t hurt, though. She and I go way back.” Jim chuckles this time, shaking his head. Krel smiles, understanding based on his body language that it is a somewhat fond thing he looks back on. This means whatever he said was taken well. 

“Then she would be a start. I may be able to change my physical composition somewhat to appear as you humans, but I do not know what it would be like to change so much as you have. Sorry I cannot assist you there,” Krel says, apologetic though he can’t really say why. Societal standards that he’s adopted through exposure are so very odd. 

“Yeah, you’re right. I guess just mentally things are weird. Claire has been kinda, I don’t know, out of it? And sometimes I feel like I don’t even know Toby anymore, with the way he is around Steve and everyone nowadays. I mean, I barely even know you still. Everything changed while I was gone, and now I’m back and I’m different than when I left…” Jim sighs deeply. “I don’t mean to drop all these burdens on you, I’m sorry.” 

“I do not mind,” Krel says simply. “It is difficult. When Aja and I arrived on this planet, we also felt out of place. But it is no issue. You just must find your place again.” 

Jim gives him a slightly confused look but says nothing. Krel lifts all his hands in a short of shrug, continuing on. 

“I might otherwise suggest you seek a mentor, much like Aja and I...had Varvatos.” Krel’s face falls a little at that, the conflict of everything crossing his mind again and the mess that the entire situation had become in the end. “Isn’t that troll with four arms your mentor? I still must ask him if his arms correlate to his societal status.” 

“Blinky is, yeah. And uh, I don’t think the number of arms means anything besides holding more books. Anyways, you’ve made some really good suggestions, and I appreciate that. Thank you, Krel,” Jim says, a look of relief crossing his face. Krel feels a sense of satisfaction at this. Human emotions and trials may be hard but he is coming to understand them. 

“And you are welcome, Jim. Now, what are you after again?” 

Jim takes the lead now, turning around a couple of corners. “Well, I wanted to meet Stuart, ask a few questions. It’s not every day you get the chance to talk to an alien that’s living under everyone’s noses.” 

“Stuart is a Durian.” Krel corrects, and then attempts to recall how he’d ended up here, anyways. He’d just run into the former Trollhunter on the sidewalk and out of boredom, decided to join him. Though, Jim’s statement doesn’t make all that much sense, seeing as how Krel was living under their noses as well, as much as a very, very tall being such as himself could be under anyone’s noses...but it doesn’t really matter. Besides, he has a couple questions for Stuart, too. 

He never fails to marvel at the inside of Stuart’s little electronics shop, though the technology is mostly out of date even by Earthen standards. It’s just filled to the brim with relics and music machines and more, and he could spend all day investigating the strangely different technologies. And he has spent all day doing just that before. 

“Well lookie here! Krel! And you’ve brought a friend,” says Stuart, coming out from behind the desk, wearing a big grin. “And uh, who might you be?” 

Krel watches Jim nervously rubbing at the back of his neck, laughing uneasily. This piques Krel’s interest because Stuart is about as harmless as they come. “Do you remember...some months ago, Toby came in here and he Facetimed with me while I was getting my butt kicked?” 

Stuart frowns, leaning forward to peer at his face. “Uh, nope. Do not recall.” 

“I was the half-troll, in armor?” Jim suggests. “Blue skin, coupla horns…” He makes vague shapes over his skull. 

A look of realization crosses Stuart’s face. “Oh! I see! You’re a changeling, could’ve just said it. How fascinating, never had the chance to ask about it, reminds me of the technologies we use to disguise our unearthly forms, oh, or this one species that has-” 

“No, no,” Jim interrupts. Stuart reluctantly putters to a stop, clearly a little bit crestfallen. “It was just magic...er...temporary...just, nevermind. I’m a human again.” 

“Hrrm, very very interesting. Afraid I really can’t help with the human physiology,” Stuart says, and gestures to the electronics stacked up the walls. “My specialization lies here.” 

Jim sighs, and Krel frowns a little. Not only does he not know what Jim is after, but why is Jim so frustrated? Being an extra-terrestrial is rather confusing and it can take doubly as much work to understand concepts because of the various cultural and language barriers. Surely he must know this. Krel latches on rather quickly to the understanding of human speech failings, Aja even quicker. They both know and are fluent in more than a couple languages spoken outside of their home planet. Stuart is...less educated, but he is still far more knowledgeable on human culture. Stuart even knows Spanish, a human language that Krel has attempted to learn more of, especially considering his human form’s race. This one app has been recommended to him, with a strange green bird that gets absurdly angry when daily practice is forgone. 

“I just kind of wanted to recap what happened when I was gone, and thought you two,” Jim says, gesturing at the two non-humaniods, “might be able to catch me up on that. Because I just _know_ that it’s not all over yet. The Arcane Order is still out there and we’re going to need all the help we can get once we’re down to the line.” 

“Oh! Well, Krel, what do you say we catch the old chum up, eh?” Stuart drags a couple of chairs out and they sit spaced out in the middle of the tiny shop and they take their seats. 

And though Krel does his best to provide valuable input, his mind is elsewhere. _“It’s not all over yet,”_ Jim had said. And that notion frightens him, just a little. He’d seen the damages done already, and the fear and panic of the tall wizard he’d only barely become acquainted with, and then watched him basically die and come back to life, which as far as Krel knows, is not something that a human should be able to do. Not that magic is something he’d really guessed existed, but it’s not something incomprehensible. But now all their little, once peaceful worlds are colliding. There’s more at stake here than he can guess, even after having experienced a catastrophic event of his own. Actually, a couple of them by now. 

Krel’s glance travels outside and for a moment he looks to the sky. It’s clear, cloudless, a solid blue reminding him of the signature colors of Akiridion-5. _I hope all is well with Aja. I worry we’ll need her._

It’s not long before Jim’s many questions are answered and he ducks out, insisting that Krel feel free to do his own thing. This is a relief because Krel wasn’t sure how he was supposed to continue answering the rhetorical questions and because he had a few things of his own to discuss with Stuart.

“Stuart?” Krel calls out, realizing that he’s disappeared into the back of the building. 

“I’m right here, jus’ round the corner,” he replies, followed swiftly by the sound of metal hitting the concrete floor and a couple of curses in some language Krel barely understands. The fact he recognizes them as curses goes to show that Aja had clearly taken their language lessons seriously. 

“Had you met the wizard Hisirdoux before?” Krel picks up what looks to be a motorcycle exhaust pipe and sets it on the shelf. Automobile parts in Stuart’s electronics shop is probably not the strangest thing he’s encountered. 

“Aye, you’re a smart one.” Stuart moves into view again, and drops a bundle of blueprints onto a messy desk, haphazardly sweeping away the scraps that get in his way. Krel waits for the clattering to stop before continuing. 

“And why did you not tell Varvatos and Aja and I?” A slightly accusatory note in his voice, one set of arms crossed. Stuart shrugs. 

“Ehhh. Well, you see, they swore me to secrecy and vice versa! They actually met me years ago, I don’t really remember how it all went down but they ran into me while I was in my real form, and their hands were on fire or something of that nature, it was crazy. Basically, we decided it was best if we all remained secret and then never spoke of it again. And when we all ended up in Arcadia again it was a happy reunion!” Stuart’s face goes from upbeat to...something less in a few seconds. “It was not, actually, I was kicked in the gut for saying something along the lines of ‘my favorite wizards’...don’t get on that woman’s bad side.” 

“Who is ‘they’ that you are referencing? And which woman?” Language specifics are evading him again. Gender roles in Earthen languages are rather annoying, it is much simpler to just be direct.

“Oh, apologies. Douxie and Zoe, and of course that funny little cat,” Stuart says, looking up from the mess of papers to grin at him. “On meeting them the two had a little fight about bets on whether extra-terrestrials were real, they go way back apparently. Zoe and I have had so much fun trying to figure out if magic or Akiridion tech is better for fixing broken devices. It’s hilarious really, though I think Douxie wants to pull his hair out whenever it’s time to decide who to bring his broken appliances to.” 

Krel smiles a little bit. “Zoe fixed Ricky for me before she left, never said anything about knowing you though. Maybe one day I will join these bets.” There’s a competitive edge to his voice, but a friendly one. Once the world was done ending, then there might be time for these things. 

“You should! It’s great fun, oh and you and Douxie would get along great, I think you two would be like brothers. Did you know he plays guitar and has a band? Oh, wait, you do know that, you went to the Battle of the Bands...” Stuart’s voice echoes through the back of the workshop as he talks and rummages through materials. “Boy have I gotten _wildly_ off-topic, haven’t I? What was it you needed again?” 

Krel just shakes his head, used to all these antics by now. “I wanted to mention that Douxie and I were able to combine magic and Akiridion technology and it worked surprisingly well. I would like to experiment more with all this, but I will need someone else’s help. The hedgewizards have said they would join in a project. I...wanted to ask you to help me.” 

Asking Stuart might just be a disaster waiting to happen, but it’s the risk he has to be willing to take. Stuart isn’t nearly as helpless as he might appear at times. Something he can’t even begin to fathom is coming, he knows it, and they are going to need everyone. 

“Y-you really asking _me_ to help with the most ambitious project undertaken by extra-terrestrials and Earthlings alike?” A hubcap falls from the pile of scrap in Stuart’s arms and clatters to the floor, but he doesn’t even react. “Well of course, my liege! I could never turn such a grand offer down.” The short man before him dips into a messy bow, a grin spread widely across his face.

Krel shakes his head, smiling all the same. Stuart dumps the scrap metal in his arms and then disappears into the rows again, cheering. 

“We’re going to create the most incredible things the world has ever seen!” 

***********************

Jim sits outside Benoits, a coffee in hand, head tipped back a bit and lightly wishing that the charming British waiter who once upon a time got on his nerves, was here. Jim didn’t really get the chance to get to know Douxie all that well while they were stuck in Camelot, mostly because he was permanently on the run and the wizard was just trying to keep him alive. But he wishes he’d been able to. 

Sure, Claire has told him all about Douxie, and he’s got a pretty good idea of what he’s like, but Jim’s memory of the entire event is a blur of pain and confusion. They video chat once in a while, though half the time Zoe and Claire take over to chat away about something magic related, and Jim and Douxie, well….they have a little bit less in common than Jim initially thought. Not to get him wrong, Jim thinks that the wizard is a great person, and clearly dedicated to doing the right thing by any means possible, compassionate and determined. Not unlike himself. But Douxie is older and has always had his magic to fall back on, and has a bit of a different perspective on Merlin, despite acknowledging the amount of awful things the late Master Wizard had done to the both of them. It almost feels like being estranged brothers. So it’s complicated. He hopes that eventually he’ll get to know him properly, but until then, Jim’s hands are more than full just trying to keep up with what he does have going on. 

And boy, does he have a lot going on. Claire has only just told him about these vague nightmares she’s been having. She finds herself in the Shadow Realm, and instead of seeing anything she’s familiar with, a blurry figure passes her by and it’s over. Jim has asked if she’s tried interacting with the visions, but she can’t seem to find any true clarity from them yet. Douxie has given Claire the book of shadow magic from Morgana, and she pours over it almost constantly. He supposes there isn’t much better to do, considering that both her mentors have skipped town, and that the big fight is apparently still yet to come. 

And then there’s the whole point about Claire running out to be transportation for Douxie & co, and it’s only a matter of time before she gets wrapped into a big fight…And he’s not ready for that yet. There’s so much on his mind, so much to settle back into. He’s not even sure his life will ever resemble something peaceful for more than an hour or two. It’s one thing, another thing, all after each other, never ending work. Blinky, thank the gods, is staying here in Arcadia finally. They’d picked a troll to lead New Trollmarket at least temporarily, and Jim doesn’t know what he’d do without him. 

Thinking of Blinky reminds him that there’s a lot he and the knowledgeable troll need to talk about, regarding the magical parts of history he’d known nothing about that might have been useful to know before experiencing it for himself. And about how they’re going to handle the possibility of a fight. It’s all too much, and he’s not even sure where he stands in all of this. Is he even a leader anymore?

Jim lets out a gentle sigh, watching the street. He’s by himself this afternoon, having left Krel to speak with Stuart about gods-know-what sciencey things, that for the life of him, he’d never understand. There’s a lot to catch up on, to figure out again. Life has completely upended itself for him in the course of a couple years, almost. Douxie has been hiding in NYC for some months now, but it still feels like Camelot was yesterday. And there’s that stupid, nagging feeling that things aren’t getting better any time soon. 

His phone buzzes in his pocket. 

**Tobias the Brave:** hey jimbo where u at  
**Tobias the Brave:** we’re gonna rewatch the og gun robot cmon  
**Tobias the Brave:** at nana’s 

Jim shakes his head, getting up and making his way down the street at a casual pace. He supposes it is nice not to be in a rush all the time. Though knowing his life, and the ways of this world, it’s not going to last long at all. And it’s why he makes a point of savoring it while he still can. 

**Jim-jam the baby-handed:** be there soon Toobes  
**Jim-jam the baby-handed:** Tobes* nooooooooo  
**Tobias the Brave:** LMFAO TOOBES  
**Tobias the Brave:** TOOBES  
**Jim-jam the baby-handed:** oh for the love of Merlin please no  
**Tobias the Brave:** TOOBES  
**Jim-jam the baby-handed:** :eyeroll: 

It seems that maybe it’s time he shoulder all these thoughts and just move on with the rest of his day. After all, he appears to have somewhere to be. But as he heads back down the familiar streets on his somewhat worse for the wear bike, a strange tug brings him back to the forest again, peering down at Excalibur sunk soundly into the stone. It’s not far off the beaten path, but it seems that it’s been left untouched. That is, untouched by anyone besides himself. 

He’s come out here a lot, and never once has he done so intentionally from the start. It just seems to happen, but it doesn’t feel weird or wrong. 

Jim rubs his hands together, and bites his lip. The sword radiates some sort of strange glow, almost as though it’s tempting him to grasp the pommel once more. He wants to, even.

 _It hasn’t worked the last four times you’ve tried, what would be so different now? But Douxie said...someone needs to wield Excalibur. And if not me, then who? No one else needs that sort of burden. Not if I can help it._

_The worst that can happen is that nothing comes of it, same as all the other times. So why am I afraid of it?_

Jim breathes in deeply, as though trying to taste the magic on the air. He steps forward and places his hands soundly on the soft leather grip. His hands are firm, but just resting there. There’s no odd chime of magic, or any wisps in the clearing, nothing to signal that yes, this is it, the time he’ll finally pull the sword from the stone. 

What is destiny? What’s fate? How much had they changed that was once written ahead of them, simply by falling backwards in time and messing with the natural order of things? Douxie didn’t have visions of the future like Merlin, and he wasn’t able to tell them what might be in store. Maybe it’s a good thing. Jim’s not sure he could really bring himself to do this if he knew just what storms they’re probably headed for. 

A flicker of anger, frustration crosses Jim’s mind. This isn’t who he wants to be. He never _wanted_ to be the Trollhunter. He never asked for the world to just, upend itself on him one summer morning. But it had. And he’s left to deal with it. 

_Destiny...is a gift._

No, no. Jim shakes his head, releasing the sword and staggering away. He hadn’t even tugged at it once. _I want to choose my own destiny. Not let it be dictated by those around me. It’s not a gift. Look at what it’s done to me, to those around me._

He spits, grimacing as his eyes remain locked on the sword. _What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with my head? Who am I?_

Jim feels the buzz of a notification from his phone, tucked against his side. Toby, probably, asking what’s taking so long. He gives Excalibur one last glare before grabbing his bike and pedaling back through the forest and again into the late afternoon light. He feels safer, somehow, under the sun that once would have killed him in it’s full exposure. It’s a reminder that he’s different again. 

The sword in the stone is still a problem for another day. 

***********************

“For the last time, Dumbzalski, there is a knight code of honor to uphold, and maybe learning to use a sword wouldn’t be so bad!” 

Toby bites back an angry retort. “C’mon, Steve, seriously, just cut it with the stupid names, would you? I’m trying here! I really am, it’s just, the warhammer is my thing! It’s my weapon! You’ve got the tooth-whatever, just let me have this, dude.” 

Steve glowers at him, looking unimpressed. “I trained a bunch of trolls, and this is what I get?” The knight tips his head up to the sky, shaking the axe. He shouts at the heavens, “Some thanks for all that!” 

“Is all this _really_ necessary, Steve?” Jim holds a somewhat damaged mace on his shoulder with ease. It’s weight is nothing compared to what Blinky had trained him with in the Forge, though Toby notes how much weariness that the former Trollhunter wears. 

“Of course it is! You want to be ready when the veggie lady’s mean friends show up, right?” This, Toby can agree with. 

“He’s right, Jimbo, we gotta find some more people interested in helping out. Stuart and Krel are already working with Hex Tech, but we need forces! We need manpower… peoplepower! What kind of a battle would it be if these...titans or whatever Douxie talks about, outnumber us? I want to be prepared.” 

Jim’s mouth twitches, but he stays almost oddly quiet. 

“Well? What are we waiting for, it’s recruitment day! Lake, you’re gonna head down into the residential area, and Warhammer and I scout out the town. Sound good?” Steve wraps an arm around Toby’s shoulders, to which Toby attempts to shrug him off, unsuccessfully. Jim’s eyes flick between the two of them, and he sighs. 

“Sure. See you back here for noon.” 

Once they’ve parted ways, Toby turns to Steve, grabbing his sleeve and stopping him. 

“Hey. Have you been, like, extra rude to Jim lately or something? Cuz he’s all out of sorts, and I thought that we agreed you were gonna be nice.” Toby fixes him with a stare that says everything else that he needs to. 

“No? Lake just...I don’t know what’s up with him. He’s just out of it. Not got anything to do with me.” Steve shoves him away and picks up his pace. And it would seem he’s telling the truth. He watches Toby from the corner of his eyes, talking quietly over his shoulder. “He’s been weird lately, maybe it’s about the sword or something? I don’t know. You’re his friend, you know more about him.” 

“Yeah, and he was gone for, like, months, Steve. Then he comes back, gets settled in for a good few months, and he’s still, well, off. I’m just as weirded out as you are. I’ll talk to him later, you just, be good to him, alright? He’s gone through some crap that he shouldn’t have.” Toby looks away, shrinking the warhammer in his hand and shaking his head. And it’s true. His best friend isn’t who he once was and it makes him a little scared. Sometimes, it’s almost like they don’t even know each other, and Toby would do anything to get back to normal days. If normal was ever a thing with them since that day in the canal. 

Steve’s returned look is a lot softer, maybe even kinder than he usually ever is. “Yeah. Okay.” He plods ahead, and the two continue with an awkward silence between them, a number of fears, worries, and concerns hanging in the tension. 

Something’s not right, and everyone can feel it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You're probably going, "wait, Bryar managed to write a whole chapter without anything Zouxie?" yeah, I know, it's wild. I promise there's plenty more Zouxie in store so don't worry about it. I also learned that I quite enjoy writing Stuart, so you can look forward to more of him eventually, lol.


	17. Holding Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Learning you have wings and a voice in your head comes with infodumping ancient spirits, apparently.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alllllllllright. I am not really back, per se, but I wanted to get this updated again because it's been a while and it needed to happen, especially since I have places I want this plot to go, lol. Shorter update than usual but the next one will probably be back on track. 
> 
> EDIT: I FORGOT TO TELL YOU. Please see this [ oneshot here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27897529/chapters/70309566) for the inbetween scene. Not necessary but it's fluffy and cute and fun. Also see Chap 3 of that same work for more wings!Zoe. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy!!

Zoe leans forward to peer into the mirror, carefully removing her contacts and discarding them. She opens her wings just a small bit to keep her balance, and silently thanks whatever part of her brain that is adapting to this all so quickly. The night had been rather uncomfortable between the hurt and adjusting in general, but Douxie was kind enough to concede and had placed a gentle sleep spell on her and she feels decently rested today. 

She reaches for her glasses and slips them over her face, returning to the living area of the apartment and hunching her shoulders so the wings drag less. It’s going to probably give her back problems— not that she didn’t already have a few —far too early.

She settles onto the couch beside Douxie, struggling to position her wings and back such that they aren’t uncomfortable. It’s a lot harder than expected. Douxie grabs a pillow and places it behind her, saying nothing. She breathes a sigh of relief as it provides the right support. _It’s going to take a lot to get used to._ An itch forms on her back and she puts her arm over her shoulder, attempting and failing to reach it. 

She growls a little, shifting and straining muscles. One of the wings awkwardly flexes and hits Douxie’s arm, to which the corners of his mouth curl up at. 

“Need a little help?” the wizard asks with a sympathetic smile. She scowls. 

“No, I just— I can’t— Ugh. Can’t reach that part of my back anymore.” 

“I take that as a yes, then,” he says, moving his arm and tracing a hand across her shoulders. For a moment she considers protesting, but it’s clearly not worth it. “Here?” 

His hand pinpoints the itch and she sinks down in relaxation, nodding. “Yeah. Thank you. That’s...a lot better.” 

“I like your feathers.” Douxie’s hand has moved to ruffling the soft fluff between the wing joints, a feeling strangely akin to that of him ruffling her hair. It’s comforting. 

“I’m glad someone does. I just, I don’t know. How did it happen?” Zoe removes her glasses and sets them on the coffee table, leaning her face into her hands. 

“What did you do, call on the old gods or something?” He laughs, and shakes his head. “If I had to guess, I’d say it’s your gift, which means that it is something un-doable. Never heard of anyone’s gift being something that sticks like that, usually it’s more fleeting or something you can call on.” 

“I actually...kinda did ask for the strength to save you guys. Like, directly asked the gods and the stars. Literally nothing has ever happened because of it before so I thought…” 

“I guess the original tales do say that the first gifts bestowed on wizards were given from the gods, or so they thought. Wouldn’t surprise me all that much that it still happens here and there. And it would explain why you didn’t need a staff to trigger it.” Douxie hums to himself, fingers tapping. “Yeah, and that spear. Wings, a spear, and lightning powers do ring a bell and I can’t put my finger on it.” 

“Surprised you can’t see it, old pal,” comes Archie’s voice, head lifting from the box that he is currently occupying. “Nothing? No guesses at all, either of you?” 

Both Douxie and Zoe shake their heads no. 

“Hmm. We really should have spent more time on those history lessons.” The familiar licks a paw and runs it over his ears. “They’re not who they once were in myth or legend, and they don’t select fallen warriors from the battlefield nearly so often, but they’re still warriors of great power you don’t want to trifle with, that is, if you’re lucky enough to ever encounter one. They are too few these days, mostly because spirits are so picky. You’re a valkyrie, Zoe.” 

“You’re real funny, Arch,” Zoe says, inspecting her glasses. 

“I’m not joking. Your spear is that of a valkyrie, the runes on it indicate so. On the staff are two lightning runes.” He nods in the direction of the spear, leaning against the wall. “If you ask it, it might even tell you which original valkyrie owned it.” 

“But I thought the valkyrie rode pegasi, they didn’t have wings last I knew, or lightning powers.” Zoe lifts her wings and waves them in Archie’s general direction. 

“Legend and truth are mixed over the years, stories and reality becoming one. Who knows? Whichever Power That Is that bestowed this gift upon you might even have known a pegasus in modern times was asking for trouble,” Archie says, very matter-of-fact. “Ask the spear who she is.” 

Zoe throws him a look of confusion, but holds her hand out to the weapon. It shoots across the room and smacks into her palm. “Uh. Okay. What’s your name?” 

“Like you mean it, Zoe,” Archie says, casting her a pained look. “Try reading the runes on the cloth. Might give you some indication.” 

She tugs the ribbon flat and peers at it. “This is like ancient Norse or something, I can’t read it very well. There’s a rune here for...storm? I think?” 

Douxie gives her an odd look, blinking a few times before shaking his head. “Remind me again, you’re...farsighted, right?” 

“Yeah? That has nothing to do with....” Zoe pauses and looks around the apartment, comparing the clarity of the distance to that of the small scars on her hands. Her glasses are on the table and not her face. And her vision is astonishingly clear. “Oh my gods. I can see.” 

“Well, I’ll be,” Archie says, leaving his box and joining them. “Whatever valkyrie it was that looks favorably on you, quite likes you indeed. My guess is that she’s similar to you. Magical spirits do take fondly to those similar to themselves.” 

Douxie coughs back a laugh and Zoe frowns. “What?”

“Nothing.” He looks away and busies himself with a piece of origami paper, diligently folding it. She scowls, but focuses more intently on the familiar hum of the spear. It has a strangely familiar feeling to it, like she’s always known it, despite the signature being greatly different from her wand. 

**_Hello again, small warrior._ **

Zoe’s brow furrows hard. “Hello?” Douxie side-eyes her, a little mystified though clearly not daring to speak out. She rolls her eyes, and decides that this will be an inside conversation. This can’t be too terribly different from interactions with spirits she’s had in the past, right?

 _I’m Zoe. And you are..?_

The voice in her head appears with a swell of that odd magic signature with a sense like if the spirit were embodied, it would be clearing its throat. 

**_Rota. One of the youngest Valkyrie, found on every great battlefield there has ever been. Sender of sleet and storms. Caller of Thor’s thunder, tamer of the hawks, the lightning-maiden, rider on a golden horse. Tell me who you are again, daughter._ **

She rubs at her forehead, and then tightens her grip on the leather. _Daughter? I don’t...you’ve got the wrong witch. I’m Zoe Bel Raiden. Not telling you my real name, so you can fuck right off if that’s what you’re after._ A hostile tinge, but spirits sometimes back off when threatened. 

**_Don’t play with me like this, child. You are still nothing compared to my power. Just because I chose you does not mean anything if I so chose to leave you. I am a demigoddess. I am a Valkyrie. And you are to respect me._** There is a pause, and Zoe can tell the voice isn’t finished. She’s not sure how she knows, she just...does. **_I fear we are even more alike than I predicted._**

 _So Archie was right? I am a valkyrie? What does that even mean? I don’t have to, like, pick dead people to go to Valhalla, right? Because if that’s in the job I’m afraid I’ve got to turn this down. And what’s with the wings? And the blade-thing?_

**_So many questions. Yes, the familiar is wiser than appearances let on. I chose you to be my newest successor for my powers centuries ago when you chose to embrace the storms. I will say, my choice was greatly frowned on, and it has earned me— us —a bit of a reputation among the other Valkyrie. This will not matter because I will train you and they will see my— your —prowess and pay my choices no heed. I will remain reaping the souls. What we have will be more of a...partnership. A spirit partnership, as you’ve likely heard of. I just remained in the background until your moment came, and you shone so brightly. You’ve done well._ **

_I have not...heard of spirit partnerships. Is this like soul-binding? I don’t want anything to do with that or some screwy blood-magic type stuff—_

**_Blasphemy. Ask the dashing young wizard, then. He must know._ **

Zoe turns to Douxie, knowing she probably looks confused beyond anything he’s ever seen from her. “So...I guess, to catch you up on speed...I’ve been in a dormant spirit partnership with a Valkyrie named Rota since I got struck by lightning as a child, I’m guessing. I think that’s what she means, anyways. Uh, she told me that you would know more about spirit partnerships.” Douxie’s face falls a little bit, and he edges closer to her, knee bumping hers. 

“Yeah...about that. Merlin...burned a lot of books, or so Galahead told me. Had a great old bonfire with ’em all. I asked him once upon a time what was in there, and it seems like he destroyed all evidence of partnering magic, either through relationships, platonic or otherwise, including both the sharing of magic between mages and also with spirits. So...I’m afraid there won’t be much, er, material, out there at our reading pleasure.” He draws into himself some, clearly recalling some sort of memory by the way his magic feels quiet and restricted. Something that he very much would rather not think about. She doesn’t push it. 

“Then in that case, great. Means I’ll have to go off Rota’s word...and we probably won’t easily figure out whatever our whole magic issue was. Awesome,”she mutters drly. “It’s not your fault. Merlin did some really damn stupid things, and you had no hand in it.” 

“Yeah,” Douxie agrees, but says nothing more. He picks at chipped nailpolish on his thumb, lines pulled deep into his face with a scowl. 

_So how does this whole partnership thing work? And you never answered about the spear, or the wings? I thought valkyrie rode pegasi._

**_Ugh. The questions are incessant. I’ll explain the partnership later, it is long, complex, and your silly mortal mind would probably implode on itself if I attempted to reveal to you the inner workings of the most misunderstood magic there is. Another day, once you are adjusted. My atgeir, as you shall refer to it, Hregg-dynja, is what would have been my equivalent of a wizard’s staff. It will channel my magics and your own in conjunction and help to reduce the strain added to the conduit...which would be you. And hence why using the additional boost from my magic affected you so. And child, I’ve been watching over you— thinking it was a hopeless endeavor, some days. I mean seriously, I nearly lost you a few times there when I couldn’t intervene, please be more careful —since you embraced my magic like no mortal has done in thousands of years. It takes a special soul to be able to connect with any spirit’s powers, and is a rather rare occurrence. Before I was a Valkyrie I was still here, on this planet, a form of magic with no shell to speak of yet. I was granted a form by Odin, whose form was granted by some other power...it is a tangled web of magic and knowledge and I shouldn’t speak of it so lightly with mortals, so, moving on. Now I exist through you...somewhat. With you, is better phrasing._ **

_**Oh, and the wings? It’s just my own personal touch, clearly no room for a full pegasus here, but a pair of wings fits nicely into this apartment, no? Do you like the coloring?** _

_Uh, they fit in here, but not in the modern world. Am I going to be stuck with these damn things forever? Cuz illusion magic on something so big is really freaking taxing too._

**_They are a gift. Please treat them accordingly. And no, you are not permanently stuck with them, it is a complex spell. I would recommend you practice calling on them and then releasing them. Obviously, it is a draining magic, so without my conscious assistance it might be more wearing on you. As it is sustaining such a lengthy conversation with you is going to leave you with a deficit of magic for the rest of the day. You will build a tolerance and resistance to the magic loss over time, but until then, it would be wise to watch your energies. I take my leave now, child. Please, for the love of Odin, keep yourself safe for a couple days._ **

And just like that, Rota is gone and she’s hit with what must be the magical equivalent of a caffeine crash. She sinks back into the sofa and presses hard onto her eyes. 

“You alright?” Douxie’s hand rests gently against her arm. 

She slumps further. “If anything I’m more confused than I was before talking to her. Maybe we should get Nari in here, she might know about spirit partnerships, if it’s true that everything’s been burned. Good news! The wings aren’t permanent. Bad news. It’s going to be draining each time I summon them. Call them. Whatever it was she said.” She groans and falls against him. 

“I know you’ll get through this, love,” he assures her, placing a kiss against her forehead. “Let’s just take it one thing at a time. Problems for tomorrow.” 

Zoe nods, keeping her eyes shut and quietly praying the world would just leave her alone already. She never asked for all of this. And now she’s supposed to go about her life pretending like everything is fine, and she can’t. 

“Can I just take a nap?” she mumbles, attempting to silence all the deafening thoughts in her head. 

“Of course you can. Here, let’s get you to the bedroom and I’ll kick Arch out for you—”

“No, here. I don’t want to get up.” 

“Oh, well, I suppose here is fine, too.” He shifts a little, leaning back and letting her rest her head against his chest, one arm gently around her. “Do you need anything, or..?” 

“S’fine. Just rest.” She buries her face into his sweatshirt, letting out a final tired sigh before releasing the hold on her weary mind. One of his hands comes up to stroke her hair and she’s soothed to peaceful sleep. 

*************************

Nari feels somewhat out of place, sitting in her patch of sun with Archie pressed against her, watching the two mages sleep, Douxie’s mouth moving and a hand twitching. He’s dreaming and unconscious streams of magic are coming from him, nothing powerful enough to have a physical effect, but it’s one that Nari can sense clearly even if she cannot read his dream. 

Zoe sleeps without dreams, and this Nari is thankful for. Douxie’s conflicting aura is bothering her enough. Archie isn’t asleep beside her, but she doesn’t mention it. 

She feels strangely about everything going on. Magics the likes of which Nari has not felt for centuries seem to be arising in the world and she cannot say if it’s for the better. In Zoe’s case, perhaps, but what if some spirits of evil did the same to ones they favored? This could mean havoc in the human world, especially if it’s happening with more frequency than they know.

Nari has sensed the awakenings of old magics even in this newer city, the stirrings of beasts and creatures that had lain dormant since magic became more hidden in the growing mortal world. This city runs over some ancient leyline, one less active than Arcadia’s, but active nonetheless. It’s only a matter of time that these emerging magics begin to rear their heads. Nari fears they won’t be prepared for the results. 

Bellroc and Skrael must have had a hand in this. It’s impossible that they didn’t because the Order controls fundamental magics and most certainly has the power to awaken energies hidden below the surface, even without Nari’s assistance. How long before they’re able to call on the titans and have forces beyond anything Earth’s mortal fighters could ever handle? 

It’s an eventuality she doesn’t want to face but it appears there’s no other way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And with that I take my brief leave once more. Editing is still hounding after me and I have a good deal of things going on atm, so taking it easy where I can, but rest assured even if RotT came out tomorrow I'd still finish this story.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for reading! Keep an eye out for future chapters and updates! A lot of the material in this fic goes hand in hand with what I've written in my others for ToA, so unless specified, anything I've posted counts to this timeline/universe. 
> 
> Let me know what you thought! I live for all your wonderful comments and it keeps me writing! 💖


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